I used to have this thing going when I was, like, “oooh, I’m Anna Paquin, the choosy and very cool indie actress”? The Piano, Jane Eyre, Hurlyburly, Buffalo Soldiers, 25th Hour…right? And then…I don’t know what happened. But I love being naked and bloody and my own person and part of a hot HBO show that idiots think is really sexy and cool. And I’m being really well paid so…you know, what am I doing wrong? Wait — am I doing something wrong?

If I could slaughter each and every vampire movie and cable TV series with single stroke of a terrible swift sword, I would do so immediately.