“Conclave” Finale Stirs Major Tremors Among Montclair Swells

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Earlier today I obliquely discussed the “whoa, mama” finale of Edward Berger’s Conclave.

When this moment arrived during tonight’s Montclair Film Festival screening, the entire audience responded with mostly pleasurable surprise….damn near the whole place went “whoa-hooaahhwwwhhh!” When this same moment unfolded during the first Telluride screening, the reaction was subdued…some quiet “hmmm” and “uh-huhm” responses but very few.

Nobody will be able to discuss this until Conclave opens commercially on 10.25, and to be extra fair not until it’s played for at least a couple of weeks.

Warning: Habitual spoiler whiners are advised to see it as early as possible. Move it or lose it.

Incidentally: Earlier this evening I was about to post a riff titled “Worst Theatre Seat of My Entire Life.” Dyian and I were seated in upper-balcony “heaven”…row W, and I mean waaay up there with very small seats and no leg room. The movie screen looked like a standard business envelope…it was like watching a film on a 13-inch MacBook Pro from the other side of the room. And the festival had the chutzpah to charge $35 each for these wretched seats.

At least the sound was strong and distinct.

Moment When “Conclave” Turns Wokey

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No spoilers: For the most part Edward Berger’s Conclave (Focus, 10.25), a present-tense, Vatican-set drama about cardinals choosing a new pope, sounds and behaves like a fairly traditional film.

And then the finale comes along and it’s like “whoa, mama.”

Without getting into specifics, the film is saying that the usual, centuries-old schemings and plottings won’t do, and that advanced countries are shifting into another mode or mindset.

Which is why, if you ask me, a majority of younger straight guys aren’t supporting Kamala Harris —- they can feel the subtle shifting of the cultural plates, and are sensing they’re being shunted aside. The tactile, under-educated screen obsessives, I mean.

There’s a final shot of two young nuns clucking happily about something…this kinda says it all.

Friendo: “Yeah, I get it, but all I’m saying is that it ends on a super-woke note.”

HE: “I’m not 100% delighted by the general shifting into an era of seismic change…a primal passing of the torch…but we can’t deny that this is clearly what’s starting to happen all over.

“Conclave is a cultural canary in the coal mine.”

“A typical progressive woman would say ‘WHAT? Women and LGBTQ wokesters are making a few inroads, but the world is still overwhelmingly run by dudes.’ But times are changing. The earth is moving under our feet.”

Couldn’t Help But Notice

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There’s an unfortunate element in a photo of Adam Driver and Heather Burns in a scene from Kenneth Lonergan‘s currently-running “Hold On to Me Darling” (Lucille Lortel Theater).

Driver’s character, a country crossover star named Strings McCrane, is quite clearly wearing….gold-toe socks.

Did Driver choose the socks in order to convey to eagle-eyed theatregoers that McCraine is gauche or clueless on some level? Or does Driver own a few pairs and thought nothing of wearing them during the play?

HE has been on a crusade against these godawful socks for at least a decade if not longer. What was I supposed to do, not say anything?

[Photo by Sara Krulwich for The New York Times.]

Zoomer Bank Teller Knew JFK But Not Ike

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I asked if she’d ever heard of D-Day or seen The Longest Day or Saving Private Ryan or anything in that realm…uhm, nope. She didn’t know Susan B. Anthony or Martin van Buren either.

I like carrying heavy coins around. I love early 20th Century silver dollars. I’m also a sucker for $2 bills.

No Longer Mezzo-Mezzo on Dave Bautista

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Earlier today I felt a sudden surge of affection for the guy. The anti-Trump monologue sealed the deal. The 55 year-old Bautista has been kicking it for decades, and I didn’t care very much. Now I’m a fan.

Analogous Up To A Point

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The Manhattan-Brooklyn-Bronx-Queens parallels hold water for the most part, but the Eagle Rock, La Canada, Altadena and Pasadena territories should have been labelled as Westchester County or maybe Long Island. And the flush Woodland Hills, Tarzana, Hidden Hills, Calabasas and Malibu Canyon regions are hardly analogous to Staten Island. New Jersey (Morris, Somerset and Union counties) would have been more like it.

Originally titled Fun and Games, this obviously substandard sexploitation cheapie…what kind of creep would want to actually buy this Kino Bluray?

Remember that prurient Cool Hand Luke scene with the hot blonde soapy-sudsing her car in front of the sweaty convicts? I’ll bet that was the inspiration for this British piece of shit, which came along four years later in ‘71.

Poor Alexandra Hay died in ‘93 at age 46.

As a few readers have said my current GATE CRASHERS photo is too chilly and “butt-hurt”-ish, here’s a friendlier replacement photo that I’ve sent along to the extremely industrious and hard-working Sasha Stone:

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