HE to AMC Westport Royale Manager — Light-Level Gripes

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DATE: 11.8.23
FROM: Jeffrey Wells, Hollywood Elsewhere
TO: Caroline Ross, general manager, AMC Royale 6 in Westport, CT.
RE: Screen illumination levels

Caroline,

I’m Jeffrey Wells of www.hollywood-elsewhere.com, and I’m writing to convey concern about the screen light levels (or foot lambert levels) at the AMC Westport Royale plex, which, I’ve been told, you’re the general manager of.

I’ve been attending the Cannes Film Festival for 23 years, and when I saw Killers of the Flower Moon at the Sally Debussy last May the images were fully rendered and totally satisfactory.

When I saw Killers at the Westport Royale 6 a couple of weeks ago the images were noticably subdued, a bit muddy, murky…clearly being presented at lower-than-intended light levels. Like the sun was behind the clouds.

I had the exact same impression when I watched Priscilla there a few days ago. It was as if the story was happening inside a barely illiuminated closet or a shadowy shoebox of some kind. The images made me feel trapped. Depressed even. No one’s life has ever been this dark, not even Priscilla Presley‘s during her perverse marriage to Elvis.

I’m sure you understand that it’s part of your job to maintain proper (i.e., SMPTE-recommended) foot-lambert levels on all of your screens. SMPTE requires that foot lamberts levels be between 14 and 16.

In order to check this you need to own a light meter, and with this device you have to check the light levels without a movie playing — you have to check with just pure light being thrown on to a blank screen.

Do you own a proper light meter? Have you checked the light levels on all your screens? If so, what are the foot lambert readings? Do they meet SMPTE’s recommendations? I’d be greatly surprised if they’re between 14 and 16. As noted, the Westport Royale images are definitely subdued.

I say this knowing that AMC hasn’t employed projectionists for many years — it’s all done through some kind of soul-less computerized system.

I look forward to your reply.

Regards,

Jeffrey Wells, HE

Lewis and Cooper

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It was unseasonably warm when this snap of Daniel Day Lewis, 66, and Bradley Cooper, 48, was shot during an allegedly recent Manhattan stroll. Right away you’re thinking Cooper wants DDL to come out of retirement. Lewis has presumably seen Maestro.

Both men are obviously in excellent shape, but clothing-wise they’re on separate planets.

Cooper’s royal blue T-shirt is totally high-thread-count and blends with the slim-straight jeans. He obviously calculated that if he was wearing canary-yellow sneakers (an HE footwear thing for years) he had to wear a bright yellow cap along with the de rigeur tinted shades. Nothing says “I am a hotshot celebrity who fancies a 21st Century Greta Garbo attitude!” like this headgear combo.

Lewis’ gray-with-white-pinstripe shirt looks a tiny bit rednecky, and I don’t know what to say about that tired, droopy-ass orange scarf. And what’s up with the large mermaid tattoo on his left arm? Nice belt buckle but the dad jeans are too long and bulky, and the Maine lumber yard work boots…okay, they’re not a problem per se but there’s something “fuck you”-ish about them.

Look at DDL’s vaguely pissed-off expression. This is a man who gets up in the morning and says, “Okay, what can I scowl at?”

Vaguely Surprised To Have Enjoyed “NYAD” As Much As I Did

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I wasn’t looking forward to NYAD, having heard mostly mezzo-mezzo responses since Telluride. But you know what? It isn’t half bad. And I really admired Annette Bening’s titular performance as well as Jodie Foster’s best friend-slash-trainer performance, which everyone feels should be a Best Supporting Actress nominee. I’ll elaborate later but this a completely decent sports saga about dogged, never-say-die persistence. Bening’s willingness to jump into the rage pool and expose herself outside the vanity realm is quite brave and in keeping with Nyad’s personality…seriously impressive.

@womensfootwearinamerica So inspiring! #nyad #diananyad #marathonswimming #inspiringmovie ♬ The Champion – Lux-Inspira

“Gladiator” vs. “Traffic”

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I’ve re-watched Steven Soderbergh‘s utterly brilliant, reality-grounded Traffic three or four times since it opened on 12.27.00. I’ve rewatched Ridley Scott‘s efficiently made but overly emphatic Gladiator exactly zero times since it opened on 5.1.00. What does that tell you or at least suggest?

Lingering Ghost of Joe Gillis

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[Paywall-posted on 5.5.23] A reasonably decent HE parody piece, posted earlier today by Seasonal Aflac Disorder:

“I’m lying in the L.A. County morgue, literally and figuratively chilling, and I hate to admit I’ve left a much nicer corpse than some of my fellows filed in the other cabinets. What the hell with all the gas and sounds? Have some dignity, Jesus. They took out the vitals and weighed them yesterday on the scale with good numbers all around, much better than anyone else in here.

“The amount of obesity, male pattern baldness and poor dentistry — all avoidable with visits to Prague or Tijuana, respectively — that could have been avoided is irritating beyond belief. One young woman left a nice corpse, and honestly, I can tell she appreciated the work I put into myself. The morlock who catalogued my clothing could hardly appreciate my fine Italian loafers and carelessly threw them in the cardboard box, and in so doing wrinkled my linen slacks.

“So far the afterlife is fairly mezzo mezzo, if you know what I mean. I expected some big flash of white light or something, not a flowing-robed Jesus or bullshit like that, but c’mon! Death, honestly, feels a lot like Parasite when they let the maid back in…”

When Sexy Baby Virus Was Pernicious

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[Posted on 5.4.15] The very first time I’ve ever heard that familiar John Williams theme coming out of a wooden, 1930s-era radio. It’ll probably turn out to be the last time. The radio is located at Dun-Well Doughnuts on Montrose near Bushwick. But that’s not the point.

The waitress behind the counter spoke with the usual mincing, sexy-baby, beep-uh-duh-beep-beep vocal fry. When she asked if I wanted soy or almond milk (as they have no dairy), it sounded like “deebeedeesoyahahmand?” Uhm…are you asking if I want regular or low-fat milk? “M’sayingweeyonlyhavesoyahmand.” Soy or…? “Soyahamand.” Which is the least problematic? “Soy.”

Heart Wants What It Wants

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If I know one thing, I know that Oppenheimer-heads like Anna Bollina need to be regarded askance.

Bill Ibelle’s Reality Check

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Posted in the N.Y. Times letters section, 11.6.23:

“When will the Democratic Party stop sitting on its hands and do something about the dire reality of the coming presidential election?

“The most recent New York Times/Siena College poll has President Biden behind Donald Trump in five of six swing states while his approval ratings among youth and minorities — two essential demographics for the party — continue to plummet.

“There comes a time when we have to say, ‘Dad, you’ve been a wonderful father and we love you dearly, but we are taking away the car keys.’

“We can all see it: the shuffle, the drifting focus, the mental confusion during a news conference in Vietnam. Mr. Biden’s handlers keep him under close wraps now, but the gasps among the electorate are going to be frequent when he gets out on the campaign trail debate circuit.

“This is no time to nominate an octogenarian who refuses to acknowledge his visibly dwindling abilities.

“The fact that Mr. Trump is only three years younger is irrelevant. Facts, logic and even multiple criminal proceedings are nonfactors when your opponent is a cult figure whose worshipers are willing to follow him blindly into authoritarianism.

“What the Democrats need to win is vigor, freshness and the hope of positive change. This is no time to cling to gentlemanly traditions of incumbency.

“Mr. Biden should go down in history as the president who led us out of our darkest hours, but if he refuses to pass the torch to a younger generation, he will be remembered as just another aging politician who refused to let go.

“If the Democratic Party sits back idly, pleading helplessness in our moment of need, it will prove that this country has not one but two dysfunctional parties.”

—- Written by Bill Ibelle, freelance writer, Providence, R.I.

Free-Speech-Suppressing Loons

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Bill Maher to Neil deGrasse Tyson: “They respect you…you have a certain standing with them so school these deranged little bitches….don’t indulge their coddled asses.”

Okay, Maher didn’t literally say the last ten words in the above sentence but that’s what he meant.