Of all the flying-mud comments posted about my response piece to Scott Foundas‘s L.A. Weekly Brett Ratner profile, the best was from “aspringcrackaddict”, to wit: “The only other thing I can say about [Ratner’s] movies is that they look like movies, they move like movies and they sound like movies, but I’ll be damned if you can find a real movie in there.”

As I was re-watching that beautiful Criterion DVD of Federico Fellini‘s La Strada a couple of weeks ago (for Jett’s benefit, as I felt he was now, at age 19, old enough to get it), I suddenly detected a striking parallel between my soured relationship with MCN’s David Poland and the one between the irreverent, philosophical-minded tightrope walker who is inaccurately called “Il Matto” (Richard Basehart) and the humorless and brutish Zampano (Anthony Quinn). Basehart confesses to Guilietta Massina at one point that he can’t help provoking or making fun of Zampano, even though he knows he may be putting himself in harm’s way by doing so. This exact same observation is made by Martin Scorsese in the video doc that accompanies the film. It’s odd how films, even ones you think you know backwards and forwards, sometimes pass along these little moments of clarity.

In an alleged “exclusive interview,” News of the World‘s William Spence reported today that Oliver Stone “won’t be making [his] Afghanistan/Bin Laden film” — commonly known as Jawbreaker — “anytime soon.” Stone is quoted as saying that “the story is changing too fast to properly put to film yet. Perhaps some day. Bush is a fascinating portrait in psychopathy and I think it would make a great film, and Blair would have to play a supporting role.”
So with Stone out of the picture the tally of movies about U.S. soldiers or agents grappling with Middle Eastern terrorists or insurgents is now down to eleven — two Afghanis (Lions for Lambs, Charlie Wilson’s War), seven Iraqs (In The Valley of Elah, Redacted, Stop Loss, The Hurt Locker, Imperial Life in the Emerald City, Grace is Gone and Nick Broomfield‘s Battle for Haditha), plus the Riyahd shoot-em-up thriller that is Peter Berg‘s The Kingdom plus Gavin Hood‘s Rendition (New Line, 10.12.07), which is about U.S. counter-terrorism efforts.
My understanding is that Marc Foster‘s The Kite Runner is more or less on its own nativist Afghani plane and therefore not really part of the club.

Earlier today Fantasy Moguls columnist Steve Mason said that The Bourne Ultimatum is headed for a $72 million opening, basing this estimate on a $25.5 million Friday. We’ll see where things are tomorrow, but it’s nice to have company on the Bourne numbers. A little man in my chest is saying it maybe-might drop down to $67 to $68 million because people have been heard to complain about shaky-cam nausea and some (including admiring fans) not being able to keep up with the hubba-hubba.

“There’s a lot of things I like about America,” Two Days in Paris director Julie Delpy tells N.Y. Times writer Kristen Hohenadel. “[But] that puritanism, I don’t like.” Delpy is referring to a situation in this country eight or nine years in which certain acts of oral sex became an issue of great Constitutional concern, which Delpy says would never happen in France.

Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg in 2 Days in Paris

The real issue in ’98 and ’99, of course, wasn’t oral sex, but whether or not an American President should be impeached for lying about his having received same, or having otherwise fudged certain particulars under oath. Bill Clinton was not only entitled to lie about this matter; by any standard of dignity he was absolutely honor-bound to do so, given the absolute inappropriateness of such a matter being investigated by lawmakers and given the gutter-grovelling character of many of Clinton’s opportunistic pursuers.
Someone should make a doc about the upstanding, God-fearing lawmakers who pressed this ridiculous issue to the point of embroiling the country in an impeach- ment proceedings — a Lewsinky-gate Hunting of the President.

N.Y. Times writer Michael Cieply sits down at Swingers with Superbad co-writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, and he doesn’t even ask why those two cop characters (played by Rogen, Bill Hader) are so anarchic and off-the-reservation absurd (particularly during the second half) compared to the hilariously ground-level genuine-ness you get from the characters played by Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen

I wasn’t expecting Cieply to try and nail Rogen and Goldberg for this, of course, but he doesn’t even friggin’ bring it up. C’mon, man…inquiring minds want to know.
This video clip of Rogen and Superbad producer Judd Apatow talking things over is much more engaging. They discuss a presumably forthcoming N.Y. Times magazine piece that’s been written about them, and whether it makes any sense for a reporter to spend months and months falling them around in order to write it.
I also love the part when Rogen asks what the N.Y. Times magazine is, and then how he follows this with “none of my friends read it” and “I don’t know what it is…I mean, what is it, part of the newspaper on different paper or something?” Apatow gently breaks the news that it’s inside the Sunday paper and that it’s printed on shinier paper, and Rogen goes, “Oh…okay.”

“Some of the best blowjobs I’ve ever gotten were by dudes pretending to be chicks,” Rush Hour 3 director Brett Ratner has told The Advocate‘s Paul Pratt in an interview piece that went up on 8.3.

Advocate writer Paul Pratt, Rush Hour 3 director Brett Ratner

“My first blow job was from a man, but I didn’t know it was a man,” Ratner explains. This incident, he says, is where a Rush Hour 3 scenes comes from when a hot girl who’s getting down with Chris Tucker takes off her wig, which angers Tucker and leads to his accusing her of being a man. “It comes from personal experience,” says Ratner. “It happens to a lot of people.”
I admire this kind of candor. It’s ballsy. I know a lot of guys who would be horrified to admit even to themselves that they were unwittingly blown by a tranny, much less to the world.
If L.A. Weekly critic Scott Foundas is fast on his feet, he’ll insert a parenthetical in his just-up Ratner profile as follows (wth the suggested parenthetical in boldface): “It matters to Ratner that his films seem expressive of his personality,” and that this is evident “perhaps most of all in the Rush Hour movies…in the preponderance of classic r & b and hip-hop on their soundtracks; in their exuberant celebrations of beautiful women (or men possibly pretending to be same), fast cars and other assorted bling; and in their conscious homages to the movies that made Ratner want to become a director in the first place.”
My favorite comment in the Foundas piece about Ratner’s sexual attitudes and experiences comes from director James Toback, to wit: “There are certain people who can get away with a reputation for flirtation and running around — the paradigm being George Clooney. But very few directors can get away with that, and most of them are cagey enough to conceal what they’re really doing.
“I think that just to enjoy a single life as Brett does is a serious detriment to being taken seriously. It’s as if to be sexually curious and freewheeling implies some form of retardation instead of some form of advanced or enlightened consciousness, which is what it just as often is.”

The only thing wrong with this generally first-rate trailer for Peter Berg‘s The Kingdom (Universal, 9.28) is a single line of narration — spoken by some Don La Fontaine-y sounding guy and also printed on-screen. There’s also a curiously “off” image of Jennifer Garner on the right side of the ad art. Take a close look below and tell me she looks like Garner. Because she looks like…I don’t know, 20% Garner and 80% Mandy Moore?

The Kingdom, which I saw three or four weeks ago, is about a team of crack FBI investigators (Jamie Foxx, Chris Cooper, Garner, etc.) sent to Saudi Arabia to explore the specifics behind an explosion that has killed several Americans inside a Riyadh residential compound. The problem with the narration is that it says that “they have come to catch a killer.” At no point in The Kingdom does anyone hypothesize, much less suspect, that there’s a single guy behind the bombing. Never…not for a second.
The idea of a lone nut killing anyone in that area of the world is ludicrous — every American death, every IED, every sniper shot from the top of a building is a group effort. The Middle East arena isn’t about “find the lone psycho” — it’s about “how do we stop thousands of psycho Islamic jihadists from wanting to shove a spear into the chest of the Great Satan?” But the Universal ad person who wrote the copy said to himself, “Fuck that…it sounds cooler if they’r’e trying to catch a lone killer than a hundred wackos. Screw it…let’s make it sound like it might be The Silence of the Riyadh Lambs.”

What The Kingdom really is, when you break it down and take off the sunglasses, is an episode of CSI: Riyadh with a totally riveting third-act that recalls the trapped-diplomat-ambush scene in Clear and Present Danger…in part. There’s a lot more hide-and-seek, shoot-and-run energy besides this. It’s real fine stuff, but first you have to get through those first two acts, which are…well, fine. By this I mean that they’re acceptable, moderately satisfying, engaging as far as they go, no significant potholes.

A non-industry movie fan named Michael something-or-other (one of his portrait photos is identified as “miraulam”) who works as a florist but also attended Comic-Con ’07 has either created or posted on his “Various and Sundry” blog one of the most sexy and transfixing CG montage pieces of famous Hollywood actresses I’ve ever seen.
Spanning 80 years of big-star faces, the piece is unfortunately called “Women in Film” …but we can get past that. What’s awesome is not just a melt-morph from one face to another — an easily achievable effect — but the creator having chosen the right similar-looking faces and then tilting their heads and blending their expressions in just the right way so there seems to be some kind of genetic connection between them.
After a while it starts to seem as if the souls of all these actresses are blending into each other, and thereby making them (in a sense) into one and the same lady — born and created and refined by the same celestial force…all with a separate but at the same time identical something-or-other. Trippy stuff for a Saturday morning. For a while there I felt a little memory-lane mescaline thing.

The IMDB has been asking readers to name their favorite Ingmar Bergman film in tribute to last Monday’s passing of the legendary Swedish director. So far 46% of the respondents have said they haven’t seen a Bergman film. I’m not surprised — I would have predicted that more like 60% or 70% would have said this, given the cinema literacy levels out there. 19% said that The Seventh Seal (i.e., which they know because of the much-parodied chess-playing scene) is their favorite, but 11% said they’re not Bergman fans at all. Only 0.7% picked The Silence — my favorite because it’s the sexiest.

My Bourne Ultimatum prediction of a $70 million haul (or just shy of that) was fairly close to the mark. The Paul Greengrass/ Matt Damon/Tony Gilroy/ Frank Marshall thriller did $24,504,000 yesterday (including coin from a few Thursday midnight screenings), and one studio projection has it making $70,071,000 by Sunday night. It might wind up closer to $67, $68 million….we’ll see.

Having done $6900 a print yesterday, it’s expected to earn about $19 thousand a print for the weekend. Business might be flat today (it may even go down a tad — sequels tend to do that) but you never know. John English (i.e., the “jerms” guy) is saying it’ll hit $60 million….wrong! The only “Road to Box-Office Hell” Movie City News guy to get it half-right was “Nikki’s Pals” with a prediction of $65 million. All the others said it would end up in the high 50s.
I was told last Monday that my $70 million Bourne projection was out of the question, that Casino Royale opened to $40.8 million and that ’04’s The Bourne Supremacy opened to $52.5 million “so there’s very little family/four-quadrant element to this, so it virtually can’t jump to those upper numbers.” Well, I’m told that the Universal gang has been expecting between $60 to $70 million all along.
The Simpsons Movie is expected to end up with $23,808,000 by Sunday night. That’s a drop of 68% from last weekend’s debut — a nose-dive. “The people who wanted to see it, saw it,” one guy tells me. “The CinemaScore rating was high, an A minus. But it had a limited audience.”
The third-place Underdog is the second most popular opener with aprojected $12,166,000 for the weekend. 3000 theatres, $4000 a print. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry will make $10,100,000 by Sunday night. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix will come in fifth with $9,356,000 for the weekend. Hairspray will make $9,158,000 by Sunday evening.
No Reservations is off 45% from its opening weekend for a projected haul of $6,475,000. It’s heading for a cume of $30 million, maybe the low $30s, and it cost…what?….$45 or $50 million to shoot? It’s not going to make back the p & a. It’ll lose theatres next weekend and it has nowhere to go but down.
Transformers, $5,854,000. Hot Rod, $5,344,000. Bratz, $4,084,000. Ratatouiille will make $3,792,000 for a cume of $188 million…it’s be a tough push to $200 million. El Cantante, another new film, will make $2,029,000 in 542 theatres. Becoming Jane is looking at $1,082,000 for the weekend in 542 theatres. The Ten is looking at $131,000 of about $5000 a print.

Keith Richards‘ manager Jane Rose flat-out lied to MTV.com’s Kurt Loder on 4.3.07 when he called to check on the story about Keith mixing his dad Bert’s ashes with some cocaine and then shorting the mixture up his nose. Rose said the snorting story was “untrue” and “made in jest,” but yesterday Richards told an anonymous Daily Express reporter that he “did inhale his father’s remains — just not with blow. ‘The cocaine bit was rubbish,’ Richards is quoted as saying. ‘I said I chopped him up like cocaine, not with.'”
The fibbing may not have been Rose’s idea entirely. When the story was retracted it was presumed that former Disney publicist Dennis Rice or some other lackey in the pipeline had strongly urged the Richards’ camp to make the Bert story go away because dad-snorting would turn off the family audience that Disney was looking to pull into Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World’s End, which Richards had a small cameo part in.