TMZ’s Claude Brodesser has written a funny short piece about Rob Cohen‘s return to the fold with the third bullshit Mummy movie, which even Stephen Sommers — one of the all-time demonic bad guys of soulless modern-day Hollywood — has apparently declined to do.

Director Rob Cohen at XXX premiere after-party in ’02

“Is director Rob Cohen about to get sprung from movie jail?” Brodesser begins. “Our spies tell us that Cohen, the director of Vin Diesel action hits like The Fast and the Furious and XXX is in negotiations to direct the third incarnation of The Mummy franchise at Universal Pictures.
“A director with those two mega-credits under his belt normally wouldn’t be available to do yeoman’s service on the third iteration of a Brendan Fraser franchise, but Cohen took the blame for the bloated, plotless special-effects stinker that was Stealth — a $100 million bomb that that fell out of Sony Pictures’ skies back in 2005.
“After a mess like that, you’re in ‘movie jail’ — the equivalent of purgatory for directors. Performing well on an established franchise would go a long way toward rehabbing your rep, and clearly, insiders say, Cohen’s hip to this fact. Look for Universal to make the formal offer to Cohen sometime later this week.”
I remember what a great job Cohen did on The Fast and the Furious — and what a beautiful ending it had. I’m sorry he’s stuck doing a Mummy movie, but maybe he can make it work on some level and then get back and do something better the next time out.

“I’m a DGA member and I’m ashamed of my guild. [Nominating] two out of the Three Amigos would have been more of an acknowledgment of the world as it is.” — from reader Chris Dalrymple, sent a few minutes ago.

The five DGA Best Director nominees, announced just a few minutes ago, are Bill Condon (Dreamgirls), Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris (Little Miss Sunshine), Stephen Frears (The Queen), Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu (Babel) and, naturally, Martin Scorsese (The Departed).
In their wisdom, the Directors Guild members blew off two of the Three Amigos — Pan’s Labyrinth‘s Guillermo del Toro and Children of Men‘s Alfonso Cuaron. Rather xenophobic of them, no? Seems that way from this corner.
I have to say I’m particularly shocked that the DGA-ers did this to Cuaron as well as United 93‘s Paul Greengrass’. These are stunning, historic, legendary films, and the voting DGA rank-and-filers have now shown themselves to be a bunch of Academy mainstream go-alongers…people with no particular conviction beyond the safety of received party-chatter wisdom.
Five, ten, fifty years from now, people who truly care about films will be occasionally watching and talking about United 93 and Children of Men with great feeling. The DGA members drinking orange juice and walking their dogs and driving their SUVs to work this morning know this…and it didn’t matter to them. If I were one of them, I would be having mixed feelings, at best, and indigestion, at worst.
But congratulations to the nominees….really. Everyone on this list should feel proud. And safe. The five films directed by the five nominees will almost certainly be the Best Picture Oscar nominees that’ll be announced in a couple of weeks.
Clint Eastwood was passed over because the guild members didn’t agree with the critics, and (maybe) because their wives wouldn’t watch Letters From Iwo Jima, or perhaps because they felt it was somehow out of the realm because of the Japanese language factor. (More xenophobia!) Clint may get a nomination fom the Academy despite this. The people who vote in the craft guilds tend to skew a bit younger — only about 400 of them are movie directors, most of them work in commercials and on TV shows and whatnot. They may not relate to Eastwood’s language as much as the older Academy crowd…we’ll see.
I guess I was the only one on Sasha Stone‘s Oscarwatch prediction chart to go for Dayton and Faris, Well, they’re certainly on the map now.

A good T-shirt line (I’d consider wearing one of these if it was printed on a sleek European T-shirt made of upscale fibres instead of some fat-collar, bulky-cotton Teaneck, New Jersey T-shirt), but they used black letters on a brown T-shirt plus they didn’t print enough of the damn things. This is the problem with too many small American businesses — they’re run by guys with shopping-mall taste buds who can’t see around the corner.

Verbatim dialogue spoken prior to last night’s showing of God Grew Tired Of Us at the Pacific Design Center: (Full disclosure — I’m guy #2.) Guy #1: “Bush is giving a speech Wednesday night about Iraq.” Guy #2: “Yeah? (turning to guy #3) “Are you interested in hearing Bush talk about Iraq?” Guy #3: “Uhm…no.” Guy #2: “What’s he gonna say?” Guy #3: “He’s not going to be preempting The Nights of Prosperity, is he?” Guy #2: “That’s…what is that?” Oh, the rip-off-Mick Jagger thing?” Guy #3: “Yeah.” Guy #2: “Donal Logue.” Guy #3: “He’d better not preempt it.” Guy #2: “When’s it go on?” Guy #3: “9, I think.”

David Poland saw the “new cut” of Factory Girl last night “and lo and behold, it is quite a different movie than the one I saw on December 6,” he’s said. Good enough to serve as a platform for the actors, he means, “like the really not very good Transamerica last year.”
“It’s still not a very good movie, but it could actually have made a legitimate Oscar push for Sienna Miller as Sedgwick and for Guy Pearce as Andy Warhol. Had this cut been available in November, they would have had a real shot…it’s now simple and clean enough to have been a base from which to make an acting awards push. But six days before nominations close, it√ɬ¢√¢‚Äö¬¨√¢‚Äû¬¢s probably too late.
Then he closes with a tribute to Harvey Weinstein‘s amazing producing-auteur persistence. “If I had a movie that worked and he wanted to mess with it, I would be very upset,” Poland writes. “But if I had a mess, there is no one on the planet who I would trust more to get it close to presentable.”

In his interview with Borat star-producer Sacha Baron Cohen, L.A. Times columnist Patrick Goldstein says that “a number of people who appeared in the film have complained or filed suit, claiming they’d been hoodwinked [but] Cohen isn’t exactly sympathetic. ‘This wasn’t Candid Camera,’ he says.

‘There were two large cameras in the room [every time we spoke to these people]. I don’t buy the argument that, ‘Oh, I wouldn’t have acted so racist or anti-Semitic if I’d known this film was being shown in America.’ That’s no excuse. If you saw all of our footage with the gun-shop owner, for example, we had a whole conversation about the right gun to use to shoot a Jew’s horns off his head.”

The Directors Guild of America ’06 nominees will be announced at 10 ayem (two hours, 35 minutes from now), so you have that much time to consider the results of Oscarwatch.com’s journo prediction poll, which was posted early yesterday evening. Scorsese, Eastwood, Inarritu, Frears, Cuaron, del Toro, Greengrass, et. al.

The Online Film Critics Society yesterday named United 93 as Best Picture, Martin Scorsese as Best Director, Forrest Whitaker as Best Actor, Helen…I can’t do this. Hour after hour, day after day, week after week, I keep typing the names of the same winners.

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Dermot Mulroney, Catherine Keener and Ed Norton attended this evening’s premiere of Christopher Dillon Quinn‘s (and Tommy Walker‘s) God Grew Tired Of Us (Newmarket, 1.12 limited), the emotional hit of last January’s Sundance Film Festival. It happened at West Hollywood’s Pacific Design Center — pre-screening schmooze time, the film at 8 pm, and then a crowded after-party. Pitt executive produced; Kidman narrated, Mulroney and Keener co-produced.

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt prior to tonight’s premiere showing of God Grew Tired of Us — Monday, 1.8.07, 7:12 pm; Angie’s bodyguard is the beefy guy with the damp, close-cropped hair; Angie (far left), Kidman; Pitt’s hair is dyed blonde for David Fincher’s The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; Pitt inquiring; John Bul Dou, one of the three subjects of God Grew Tired of Us and head of the American Care for Sudan Foundation, and Jolie; John Bul Dou, L.A. Daily News critic Bob Strauss; John, Nicole

God Grew Tired of Us tells the story of three young Sudanese guys — John, Daniel, and Panther — all of them refugees from their country’s ongoing, utterly devastating civil war, and members of a massive army known as the “lost boys of Sudan”. The film is about their escape to America to start new lives only to encounter profound longings for home and family, and no small measure of guilt.

The 44th annual Publicists Awards luncheon will happen February 7th at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. Among the nominees will be five publicists up for the Les Mason Award (Tony Angellotti, the Angellotti Co.; Hilary Clark, 20th Century Fox Intl.; Jeff Hare, Warner Bros.; Mary Hunter, Warner Bros. Intl.; Pat Kingsley, PMK/HBH; and Alan Nierob, Rogers & Cowan). Plus five Press award nominees: (Dan Fierman, Entertainment Weekly; Elizabeth Snead (L.A. Times, the Envelope); Anne Thompson (Hollywood Reporter); Bonnie Tiegel (Entertainment Tonight/the Insider); and Susan Wloszcyna (USA Today).

Okay, I’ll admit it: this teaser trailer for The Hills Have Eyes 2 (Movie City News owns the link in eternal cyber perpetuity because Poland linked to it before I did) has one little trick of visual innovation. It’s fairly cool. If the director of the film, Martin Weisz, also directed this teaser (and you never know in this racket), he’s definitely got some talent.