Good Punch Line

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But the bit doesn’t work because this woman (great scarf, violet-tint hair) isn’t even a little bit “chubby.” So the whole bit falls apart…sorry.

“The Duality of Man…the Jungian Thing, Sir”

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Anthony Bourdain: “Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride.

“Actually, hold on. I feel like shit. Life itself is shit. My soul is drowning in it. My crazy girlfriend and I have no rules, but she’s making a show of fucking some guy in Rome right now, essentially throwing it in my face, and I feel really stunned and bruised and turned around. You know what? Fuck it — I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom.”

Lady Gaga Ferocity

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This Lady Gaga incident “happened” four or five days ago during filming of Todd Phillips‘ Joker: Folie a Deux (Warner Bros., 10.4.24). Some kind of uptight conservative Christian woman carrying a Folie a Deux prop (a tabloid newspaper) shouted “you’re going to hell!” (You can barely hear her.) LG stopped, turned around, put her hands around the woman’s face, gave her a big kiss and said “you’re going with me!”

It was all scripted, of course, but during my first viewing of a captioned version I thought for a brief moment the confrontation had happened for real, and under that impression I was momentarily filled with huge admiration for Lady Gaga, the person. If it had just happened, it would’ve been the kind of thing that only the young Pablo Picasso or Salvador Dali might’ve performed.

But of course, it was all written by Phillips and Scott Silver.

White House Plumbers…er, Doofuses

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Hal Holbrook‘s “Deep Throat” in All The President’s Men: “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.”

Sight unseen, HE is pretty much down with the dry comedic slant of White House Plumbers (HBO Max, 5.1). The absurdist deadpan tone feels like it might be…well, perhaps not quite Dr. Strangelove-ian but in that general ballpark.

Created and written by Alex Gregory and Peter Huyck; directed by David Mandell (exec producer and showrunner of Veep, exec producer and director of Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld).

Where’s The Upside In Scorsese Avoiding Cannes Competition?

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It’s been confirmed by Variety’s Elsa Keslassy that Martin Scorsese’s Killers of the Flower Moon will not only play the ‘23 Cannes Film Festival but debut on Saturday, 5.20, and will thereby avoid the dreaded opening-night slot.

It tends to be bad business all around for a serious film to open the festival. Occupying that berth usually means there’s something a tiny bit flabby and less than snap-crackle-pop about the film in question. Thank God Flower Moon has chosen to avoid that signage.

Keslassy reports that the festival hasn’t specified whether or not Scorsese’s film will play in or out of competition. Wouldn’t it seem odd if a decision is made to screen it out of competition? Just asking.

Mystifying Ski-Slope Aftermath

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In the wake of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Park City victory against Terry Sanderson, the usual pests and trolls tried to characterize my anti-Paltrow stance as deranged or jaundiced on some level. Here’s how I responded this morning:

Their stories wildly diverged, and I was fairly astonished by the apparent fact that either Gwyneth or Sanderson were flat–out lying. We all understand that ski slope accidents occasionally happen. I just couldn’t figure it. Why sue if you don’t firmly believe you’re in the right, and can present a strongly compelling case to that effect?

Sanderson waited three years to file the lawsuit, obviously having loads of time to ponder the situation and calculate the odds and cost. Why file if there was a reasonable chance that an impartial jury might hold with Paltrow? Why go through all of that time and effort and expense if there was any half-reasonable likelihood that the jury might decide that it was a toss-up about who slammed into whom?

Sanderson is allegedly wealthy — why would he go through all that? Because he was bored and needed a little drama in his life?

And what about that fat friend of his who was near the scene and testified that he was convinced that Sanderson was completely in the right?

It didn’t make basic sense to me that Sanderson would just file on a whim. He knew Paltow’s attorneys would point to all the travel and adventure that he’s enjoyed since the accident. Why file if he didn’t at least have a better-than-decent shot at winning? Why file what might be seen as a frivolous nuisance lawsuit? It didn’t make basic sense to me.

First Ex-U.S. President To Be “Indicated”, Says Trump…Yowsah!

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Alvin Bragg’s indictment of Donald Trump is warranted under New York State law, but it’s a nickle-and-dime beef. Ditto, if you ask me, the Mar a Lago refusing-to-relinquish-documents charge. The indictments that will really matter will be about inciting the Jan. 6th riot and trying to steal the Georgia vote in the 2020 election.

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