I think I watched Richard Belzer‘s performance as Detective John Munch in Homicide: Life on the Street (’93 to ’99) and the Manhattan-based Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (’99 to ’13), but for some reason I can’t recall any takeaways. What this probably means, in all fairness, is that I didn’t find Munch an especially rich or compelling character. Amusing, yes, but in a sidelight fashion. Mainly he struck me as compulsive.

Mine is a minority view, I realize. N.Y. Times/Jason Zinoman: “As Detective Munch, Mr. Belzer was brainy but hard-boiled, cynical but sensitive. He wore sunglasses at night and listened to the horror stories of rape victims in stony silence. He was the kind of cop who made casual references to Friedrich Nietzsche and the novelist Elmore Leonard. He spoke in quips; when accused of being a dirty old man, he responded: ‘Who are you calling old?’

I recognize that Belzer, who passed yesterday (Sunday, 2.19) at his home in Beaulieu-sur-Mer, France, was a funny, witty, ascerbic guy who was highly skilled at stand-up comedy. I loved his comedy-club patter in Mad Dog and Glory (’93) when he introduced Bill Murray‘s character — “Ladies and gentlemen, from Highland Park, the land of velour seat covers and razor-cut hair, the comedy stylings of Frank Milo…dig it.” (He also played the emcee at the fabled Babylon Club in Brian De Palma‘s Scarface.)

For years I had an idea that Belzer owned a home on Huntley Drive in West Hollywood, a couple of blocks from my place and just down the slope from Santa Monica Blvd. I tried verifying this a few hours ago from the usual online sources, but it wasn’t there. This impression is therefore probably wrong. But there’s a pocket in my memory that insists otherwise.

HE’s latest Substack discussion (i.e., Jeff and Sasha) mostly focuses on the glorious, EEAAO-snubbing (except in the matter of editing) BAFTA Awards. We also got into some standard Oscar race pulse-taking. Again, the link.

Roger Friedman‘s 2.20 “Cannes exclusive” isn’t about the certainty of Martin Scorsese‘s Killers of the Flower Moon debuting at the 2023 Cote d’Azur festival — that assumption has already gained ground. Ditto the loose talk about Chris Nolan‘s Oppenheimer, James Mangold‘s Indiana Jones and the Wheel of Fortune Dial of Destiny, Woody Allen‘s Coup de Chance and Sofia Coppola‘s Priscilla.

Friedman’s new info (alleged but not confirmed) is partly about the festival’s opening-night attraction — Pedro Almodovar‘s A Strange Way of Life, a 40-minute, English-language short costarring Ethan Hawke and Pedro Pascal. With just about every significant feature running 120 minutes these days (and often longer), one can’t help but admire Almodovar’s decision to keep A Strange Way of Life to one-third of that running time.

In my mind a 40-minute film isn’t a “short” — it’s a tweener.

The other announcement is about Maiwenn‘s Jeanne du Barry, a historical drama set during the French revolution that may, according to Friedman, screen on the second night of the festival. Alternately called La Favorite, the film will star Maiwenn as Jeanne Becu (aka Madame du Barry) in a rags-to-riches-to-guillotine story. Accused of treason, Becu lost her head during the French terror, and more precisely on December 8, 1793.

Johnny Depp allegedly plays the aged King Louis XV, who enjoyed Becu as his final mistress. The only problem is that Louis XV died in 1774, or 15 years before the French Revolution of ’89 and nearly 20 years before Becu’s execution so I don’t get it.

Wikipedia says Netflix will release Jeanne du Barry in France in 2023 (probably right after Cannes ’23), but that the streaming release won’t happen for another 15 months, or sometime in the fall of ’24. The Wiki page also states that the film, which finished shooting last October, was financed by the Red Sea International Film Festival. I don’t know…sounds kinda fishy.

The length of Scorsese’s Flower Moon is still in the vicinity of three hours and and 20 minutes. One possible reason is that the story Scorsese is looking to tell (based on David Grann’s 2017 book of the same name) simply required that running time to make it all work. Another possible reason is that Scorsese was fearful of Flower Moon being accused by Film Twitter of being a white savior tale and so he decided to add a fair amount of “Native Americans had their own agency” stuff so he and the film wouldn’t get in trouble with Native American wokesters.

The “Flower Moon has allegedly been woked into an anti-white savior film” angle was fully explored by Jordan Ruimy on 1.20.23. The first hint of this was reported the same date by Variety‘s Zack Sharf.

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Discovery evidence in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox News has revealed that Fox hosts knowingly and brazenly lied about Donald Trump‘s claims of 2020 election fraud, which they knew were total bullshit. But Fox has been lying to their viewers for years about lots of stuff, right? They’re not beholden to the facts as a rule — they’re beholden to the Fox News narrative, which sometimes reveals certain truths but often obscures or ignores other truths.

Andrew Sullivan (58:23): “Have you seen The Banshees of Inisherin?”

Bill Maher: “I have almost seen it. I’m almost at the end. A friend and his wife saw it, and they cautioned me off of it. It was on cable” — who watches cable? — “so I could tape it” — who tapes shows? — “and watch it in the kitchen. This is a kitchen film, I figured. It’s gonna be talky and ponderous, which it is…but in the kitchen [a film like this] works perfectly. And I’m almost to the end. Spoiler alert — the cutting off of the fingers. And, being close at the end, I don’t quite see how that pays off. And the sister left…”

Sullivan: “The scene I was thinking about…Colin [Farrell] has come to this realization…just to be with a normal person, nobody’s gonna remember us. And Brendan has to have his music and Colin just wants [simple] companionship.”

Maher: “That’s the point of the movie.”

Sullivan: “Yeah, and there is that conflict. And there’s this conversation where [Kerry Condon says to Brendan Gleeson], ‘That wouldn’t be good for your music, would it, if you chopped all your fingers off?’ And he says, ‘Ahh, now we’re gettin’ somewhere.'”

Maher: “But he does it [anyway].”

Sullivan: “And Gleeson says, ‘Yoo know sometimes I think we just entertain ourselves to stave off the inevitable. Don’t you think?’ And she says, ‘No, I don’t.’ And he looks at her and says, ‘Yeah, you do.'”

[Sullivan’s rendition is pretty close to Martin McDonagh’s screenplay, The passage can be found on page 59.]

Maher: “It’s so Irish, so Irish. A lot of suffering, and a lot of poetic-in-the-soul from the suffering. When Brendan suddenly says to Colin, ‘Leave me alone, you’re boring’, I thought ‘Colin Farrell, one of the most charismatic actors of the last 20 years, is boring?’ But okay, I got past that…”

Sullivan: “The older I get, the more Irish I get. The way they mix this dark anger with humor. The West Coast of Ireland, these people…”

Maher: “But [the film] had better have a big payoff. Colin burns Brenan’s house down…I’ve gotten to that part. Does something happen at the end to redeem this [fecking] story?”

HE to Maher: No, nothing happens. It doesn’t pay off at all. The movie simply leaves you with death and despair and severed digits, and the distant rumble of Civil War happening on the mainland.

Which is why the movie has never been in the Best Picture conversation, although the performers — Colin, Kerry, Barry — have been doing fine. Brendan hasn’t won anything because his character cut his fingers off and people generally don’t like that. I certainly didn’t. I found it ridiculous, in fact. Absurdly nihilistic.

Maher and Sullivan keep talking about Banshees for a while. [Until at least the 1:10 mark.] Then they get into the now-familiar observation, “This movie couldn’t be made today.” Maher: “How many films qualify in this regard?” Sullivan: “Basically everything.”

Elizabeth Banks‘ Cocaine Bear opens on Friday, 2.24. It will press-screen on Wednesday (2.22). This in itself is telling.

Wry journo comment: “We all know it’s going to open big next weekend, but there’s no way it’s conventionally good. It could be awful in a very amusing way or just plain awful.”

Regional industry friendo: “I’ve heard it’s awful.  And incredibly gory.”

In less than a month, the legendary William Shatner will celebrate his 92nd birthday. The man has been acting since the early ’50s — call it 70 years. And that’s not all he’s been doing for several decades.

According to shatnerstoupee, Shatner began wearing a hairpiece sometime between 1957 and 1958, or roughly 65 years ago. Born on 3.22.31, Shatner was somewhere between 26 and 27 when he embarked upon this follicular path. I’ve always been an admirer of well-designed wigs, and for my money Shatner’s have always looked pretty good. I just find it fascinating that he’s been toupee’d for this long…roughly 70 percent of his time on the planet earth.

HE’s favorite Shatner performances (and I haven’t chosen these to deride him — Shatner is a first-rate actor): (a) His Kirk performances in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan (’82) and in Star Trek: The Voyage Home (’86); (b) Angie Dickinson‘s criminal lover in Big Bad Mama (’74), (c) The hysterical plane passenger in the Twilight Zone episode “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” (’63), (d) Spencer Tracy‘s military aide in Judgment at Nuremberg (’61), and (e) the game show episode when he lost his temper for accidentally revealing an answer when he should’ve passed along a clue.

In the wake of Sunday evening’s BAFTA awards, during which All Quiet on the Western Front took seven top trophies (including Best Picture and Best Diretor) and the deeply despised Everything Everywhere All At Once was almost completely shut out (except for Best Editing)…in the wake of this gloriuous post-DGA Awards ectasy, Hollywood Elsewhere is clutching a swagger stick as it leads the uphill charge against EEAAO…Lordy, I swear we can win this!…the Charge of the Light Brigade!…half a league, half a league, half a league onward!

No slight against Elvis‘s Austin Butler, the Best Leading Actor winner, but i wish Banshees‘ Colin Farrell had won instead.

HE offers a hale and hearty “go eff yourself” to Brian Rowe for posting the following tweet:

Professional industry friendo: “All Quiet on the Western Front has mostly swept the BAFTAs with seven (7) trophies include Best Picture and Best Director. But still Netflix has failed to organize an effective screening campaign for Academy members. Which offers a stark contrast comparied to their campaigns for Glass Onion and Bardo, not to mention the blood, sweat and tears they poured into The Irishman. Whassup there? Perhaps they lost my email address, which is possible, and that’s the only reason I can work out. Because I’ve not received a single All Quiet screening invite.”

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In an 8.1.22 HE story called “Au Hasard, Cocaine Bear,” I conveyed a certain degree of loathing for what Elizabeth Banks‘ Cocaine Bear (Universal, 2.24 23) appeared to be about. Here’s what I said:

A while back Banks sat for a Variety cover story, written by Adam B. Vary. A passage reads as follows: “Most crucially, when Banks looked into the real story, she came away with what she describes as ‘a deep sympathy for the bear.'”

Banks: “I really felt like this is so fucked up that this bear got dragged into this drug run gone bad and ends up dead. I felt like this movie could be that bear’s revenge story.”

The below image was stolen from a “New Rules” segment on Real Time with Bill Maher.

God help the forces of cinematic aspiration, wish fulfillment and basic decency if Everything Everywhere All At Once…if the fucking Daniels, I mean, wind up winning the top award at this evening’s 75th annual DGA Awards.

Dear God…please, please don’t let this infuriating headspinner…this mongrel of an IRS Marvel multiverse yarn…please don’t let it win tonight. I’m on my knees, Lord…begging, pleading. Dread isn’t the name of the stuff that’s pulsing through my system. Don’t let the Eric Kohn contingent win…please.

Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert aside, the four competitors for the top prize are Todd Field, Tár; Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick; Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin; and Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans.

What the hell, give it to Spielberg…that won’t hurt so badly.

The DGA ceremonies will begin…I don’t know when they’ll begin but things should be well underway by 9 pm Pacific. The venue is the Beverly Hilton hotel ballroom, the same place where the Golden Globes happened a while back.