A teaser for Michael Moore‘s upcoming financial meltdown doc, due on 10.2.09, preemed tonight in select theatres in New York, Washington, D.C., Chicago and Los Angeles. “The movie is not going to be an economics lesson,” Moore told USA Today‘s Anthony Breznican earlier today. “It’s going to be more like a vampire movie. Instead of the main characters feasting on the blood of their victims, they feast on the money. And they never seem to get enough of it.”

“Hi, I’m Michael Moore,” the teaser narration begins. “Instead of using this time to tell you about my new movie, I’d like to take a moment and ask you to join me in helping our fellow Americans. The downturn in the economy has hurt many people. People who have had no choice but to go on government assistance, yet our welfare agencies can only do so much. That’s why I’m asking you to reach into your pockets right now and lend a hand.

“Ushers will be coming down the aisles to collect your donations for Citibank, Bank of America, AIG, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, and a host of other needy banks and corporations. Won’t you please give generously?

“Now, I know what you’re thinking, ‘I already gave at the bailout’…and I know you did. But even if you’ve given in the past, give some more, it’ll make you feel….good.”

The lights came up and a team of eight or nine kids in white T-shirts that said “Save Our CEOs” came down the aisle to collect money after the teaser showed at Manhattan’s Leows’ Lincoln Plaza. Believe it or not, I saw six or seven women actually reach into their wallets and give a buck to the volunteers. Don’t they understand they’re participating in their own humiliation by doing this? It’s a joke, for God’s sake.

The untitled pic takes a comic look at what Mooore calls “the biggest robbery in the history of this country” — the massive transfer of U.S. taxpayer money to private financial institutions.

“If you go to see my movies, even if you don’t agree with everything in the movies, you’re going to have a good laugh,” Moore told Breznican. “I want them to walk out at the end saying ‘Wow, that was something!’ And in this case, maybe they also walk out asking the ushers, ‘Um, excuse me [but] where are the pitchforks and torches?’ ”