I’d been putting off watching The Tomorrow War. Naturally. Obviously. As God is my witness, my caretaker and my co-pilot, I don’t want to watch a Chris Pratt film ever again…any subject, anywhere, by anyone. To me Pratt is nothing short of a demonic figure…as much of a cinematic repellent as Dwayne Johnson, and that’s saying something. Pratt doesn’t take anything seriously…everything’s an effing joke, everything’s “ironic”…I really hate his ass.

Nonetheless I tried watching this damn thing twice last night, and both times it defeated me within minutes. Deflated me, I mean. You’d have to be a serious gamer to watch this thing in the first place…right? Probably a necessity. Speaking as a 60/40 fan of Doug Liman and Tom Cruise‘s Live Die Repeat (aka Edge of Tomorrow), I was hoping that The Tomorrow War might deliver in a similar way….nope!

I just can’t stand those ridiculous reptile monsters with their open howling mouths…hordes and hordes…like those mountains of zombie insects in World War Z…I’m so sick of seeing monsters of any kind…I really hated those Quiet Place, Part II beasts….plus we’re surrounded by real-life monsters on Twitter on a 24/7 basis…sick of it, sick of it, throwing up. And yet 80% of your Rotten Tomato readers are down with this film….80%!!