The Sun‘s Gordon Smart has posted the first-anywhere (I think) review of Sacha Baron Cohen‘s Bruno (Universal, 7.10). There are any number of tumescent shock pull-quotes but let’s go with this one for starters: “To say Bruno makes uncomfortable viewing is an understatement of Battle of Britain proportions.

“When I wasn’t giggling like a 14-year-old, I was cowering behind my hands. And I wasn’t just hiding from the acres of kugelsack, Bruno’s word for the lunchbox, shown during the 90 minutes.The term will become the new ‘Booyakasha’ or ‘Jagshemash.’

“Bruno has only been in love twice. Once for just seven minutes with ’80s pop act Milli Vanilli and the second time with his pygmy boyfriend who dumps him when he loses his TV show. And here lies a warning — the pygmy sex scene is one of the most horrific incidents ever committed to celluloid.

“I’m talking fire extinguishers, champagne bottles and mechanically adapted fitness equipment. Teenage boys should under no circumstances watch this with their parents.

“Just like with Ali G and Borat, Sacha-as-Bruno tricks famous faces into doing ridiculous interviews.” The duped include singers Paula Abdul and Latoya Jackson, “who both leave within minutes after being served sushi on a naked Mexican.

“Bruno decides to become heterosexual ‘like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kevin Sacey.’ And an interview with a pastor, who specializes in turning gay men straight, is priceless.

“A Jerry Springer-style talk show scene in Dallas, when Bruno has his ‘adopted’ African baby confiscated, will go down [as one of] Baron Cohen’s…three best scenes.

“The character does lose a bit of steam towards the end but the musical climax, with cameos from Chris Martin, Bono, Sir Elton John and Snoop Dogg is a fitting finale.”