Wells to Disney NYC Publicity Reps: “I brilliantly took the wrong train (south instead of north) and wound up arriving late at tonight’s Lone Ranger all-media at the Regal E-Walk. At 7:18 pm, to be precise. And I was told by theatre management that you and yours had declared the screening closed. May I ask why you would do that? Have you ever heard of people arriving late due to mishaps? Don’t most screenings start about ten minutes late anyway?

“I experienced a lot of stress, sweat and trouble to get to this screening, and I think it’s a teeny bit inconsiderate that Disney would say no to a latecomer. Who cares if I miss Johnny Depp in his Little Big Man makeup at the beginning? You should always wait for stragglers to show up. It’s simply good manners.”