Ben Kingsley will play some kind of undefined, who-gives-a-shit? bad guy in Iron Man 3, which will begin filming next month and open on 5.3.13. Variety‘s Justin Kroft is reporting that Kingsley won’t be playing Mandarin, which is yet another variation on the kind of rote, Marvel-patented wanker villain that we’re all sick to death of…sick to the point of vomiting on the pavement. If there’s a slight chance that Kingsley’s part is still being formulated, I have a suggestion for director-writer Shane Black: bring back Don Logan.

It doesn’t matter if Logan died 12 years ago in Sexy Beast. The Iron Man fan base is too shallow to have seen Sexy Beast and if some of them have seen it and don’t like the idea of a dead guy being a threat to Tony Stark, eff ’em if they can’t take a joke. Iron Man 3 is a joke, the fan base is a bigger joke, and the Republican known as Robert Downey, Jr. is the biggest joke of all. Just bring Logan back with the bloody Cockney acccent and give him bleedin’ super-powers. Those who know Sexy Beast will be delighted with Don’s return, I can tell you that.

Don Logan is the only truly iconic character Kingsley has ever played besides Mahatma Gandhi, and Logan’s power to too potent not to be used again. And his criminal personality is perfect for an empty cash-grab franchise flick like Iron Man 3, which of course will star Downey as Stark and costar Scarlett Johansson, Gwyneth Paltrow and Don Cheadle. Just bring Don back and give him super-powers.