One of HE’s antagonists wrote the following in late September (edited): “I’m not going to share the whole story of how I came to believe I should write this to you. Suffice that I’m undergoing some serious harassment from a former friend and it’s not pleasant. Shoe having been on the other foot, I’ve experienced some clarity.

“Whatever [the motivation, my psychology has] compelled me to act in ways that are unacceptable, both professionally and personally.

“So I’m apologizing, again. And I know you won’t trust it and I do not blame you. I will continue to find a good number of your opinions exasperating, but I’ll try in the future to make a point of not making a point of it. I just wanted to apologize for real and let you know that from hereon in I’ll be making a genuine effort not to make any more trouble for you.”

HE reply [same day]: “Was this written by a humanoid seed pod from Don Siegel’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

“You’ve now sent three emails saying ‘I’ve been a toxic dick and I’m sorry’…right? One seven or eight years ago, and then another (or so I recall) and now this one. It’s a pattern.

This isn’t real unless you post it on Twitter. Maybe it’ll start something. Maybe some of the other battery-acid Robespierre haters will read it and think ‘hmm, maybe I should ease up on my own anti-HE bullshit.’

“Go to Twitter and it’s real. Keep it private and it’s not. Only a fool would presume otherwise.”

HE antagonist back to HE, the same day: “Your proposition interests me. [Perhaps] a proclamation of principles as applied to my treatment of you might be in order. I shall give it serious consideration.”

HE to antagonist [two weeks later]: “Saying you regret being toxic and abusive in a private letter works, because you can always reverse yourself down the road, as you have twice in the past after sending contrite letters. But saying as much on Twitter is a bridge too far, it would appear.”

HE antagonist back to HE [same day]: “Yeah, it is. I’ve given the matter a bit more thought and concluded that while I behaved poorly, that’s on me, but all I owe you, if anything, is silence. And for that you should be grateful. You won’t hear from me again, and if you ever feel compelled to reach out for any reason you’ll get nothing. Your clown show is entirely your own.”

An Eric Roth-pedigree screenwriter couldn’t make this shit up. This is my life.