There’s a Huffington Post story explaining Jeremy Piven‘s mercury-overload condition that led to his quitting the Broadway production of Speed-the-Plow and running home like a weenie. It turns out Piven brought this condition upon himself by compulsively eating too much sushi.

Photo-illustration by Everett Bogue stolen from a 12.18 New York “Vulture” item.

The statement from Piven’s rep says he doesn’t like it that everyone has been making fun of his ass over quitting the show due to the mercury thing. Trust me, Piven — the term “sushi defense” makes you seem like an even bigger baby and a bigger douche.