All of these salacious tell-all stories about Donald Trump‘s roaming schtufenhaufer are sounding not only repetitious but flat. The latest, about Trump tower doorman Dino Sajudin having been paid $30K by the National Enquirer to keep quiet about Trump having allegedly sired a love child back in the ’80s with a housekeeper, is almost disappointing. Speaking for the reading public, I think we need the ante to be upped. We need something grander and more perverse. We need a story about, let’s say, a 2006 menage a six between Trump, Sajudin, the housekeeper, Karen McDougal, Stormy Daniels and the housekeeper’s son.