Marketing-Publicity Department for Major-League Film Distribution Company Seeking Administrative Assistant. Only the most alert, polite, focused and fastidious applicants will be considered. Nice smile, social skills, strong organizational tendencies. Efficient but without any pre-set attitudes or belief systems. We basically want someone who is, to coin a term, “soft clay.” We would prefer a candidate who doesn’t have a college degree in film studies or film criticism. In fact, the less you know (or the less you pretend to know) the better. Absolutely no knowledge of online movie websites or names of significant journalist-critics preferred. Should any journalist-critic happen to call, we would prefer that they talk to someone who has no clue who they might be, who will ask what dead-tree publication they work for, who will ask them to spell their name and the name of their publication or website, and who will also feign total ignorance about anything and everything including whether it’s sunny or raining outside. Long hours guaranteed, but well worth the investment for the contacts you’ll acquire. A minimum of two work-related references required.