“Perfect isn’t easy / some would say that it’s a dream / but comfortable is always and forever /
‘Cause when you’re being you and you don’t care what people think / you’ll find happiness in good or bad weather”

You know you’ve sunk to the bottom of the celebrity-endorsement barrel when you’re starring in a La-La Land-ish musical pitch for the lowest, most socially deplorable level of comfort shoe ever inventedCrocs. Poor Drew Barrymore….first her low-rent Santa Clarita Diet Netflix series, and now this.

The key lyric is “and you don’t care what people think.” Because we know what people think. Have you ever seen a person wearing Crocs who didn’t make you go “eewww” if not avert your eyes? Wearing Crocs is like draping a flashing electric sign around your heck that says “I am sartorially clueless…I have no shame, no taste…I may own a Bel-Air mansion, but my Crocs suggest that I’m a low-class donkey who eats onion rings for dinner and lives in a trailer park.”

The original pioneer in hawking pseudo-“stylish” apparel and perfume to the deplorable class was Jaclyn Smith. Her Jaclyn Smith clothes line, launched in the mid ’80s, and her KMart-level ads made her a fair amount of coin.