No film lover cares about Cruella (Disney, 5.28). I certainly don’t. Obviously a Disney parent punisher. Thank God such films were fewer and far between when my sons, Jett and Dylan, were tykes from the early to late ’90s. The Katzenberg period.

It’s noteworthy, I think, that a film aimed at the family trade runs 2 hours and 14 minutes? Whatever for? Yes, it’s an origin story but such an effort should be no more than 110 minutes tops, and preferably closer to 100 or even 95. Especially given the fact that Dalmatians puppies barely appear in it.

Anthony Lane: “Emotions are not toyed with glancingly [in Cruella] but stretched out and blazoned forth, and the result is that the new film is nearly an hour longer than the original 101 Dalmatians cartoon. Needless to say, any pretense that children might still want to watch a light, spirited, mutt-centered gambol has been skinned to the bone, to make way for human bitching, and anyone hoping to play Spot the Dalmatian will be sorely vexed. I counted exactly three of the beasts, plus another two at the end. In short, Cruella is more catty than canine. Grrr.”

Lane #2: “In truth, there are passages of Cruella that seem like scraps of music videos, loosely stitched together. Forget about the plot: ask your heroine to pose in splendiferous outfits; crank up the Stones, the Zombies, the Clash, or Doris Day; and, woof, there’s your movie.”