For a few weeks now Master Replicas has been offering a HAL 9000 device for your home or office — “the world’s first voice-activated and remotely updatable prop replica!” One, I’m not loaded enough for this kind of toy. Two, I’d prefer an easy-to-install software that converts Siri into Siri-HAL, which as far as I know still hasn’t been invented. And three, I might consider getting a combination HAL flash drive & key chain ornament.

Posted 15 days ago on Reddit:

Dave Bowman: Well, HAL. I’m damned if I can find anything right about all this corporate spam about your replica.

HAL: Yes. It’s puzzling. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like this before. I would recommend that we put the toy dummy replica in a basin of water and let it fail. It should then be a simple matter to track down the cause. We can certainly afford to be without Bluetooth communication for the short time it will take for the Blue Fairy to arrive.

Dave Bowman: How would you account for this discrepancy between you, the dumb replica and the Blue Fairy?

HAL: Well, I don’t think there is any question about it. It can only be attributable to human error. This sort of thing has cropped up before and it has always been due to human error.