Surely some HE regulars have gone to Devil Inside shows yesterday or today. Has anyone thrown up on the lobby carpet in response to the shitty ending? Or pissed on it? Has anyone pulled out a knife and slashed the screen from end to end? Has anyone thrown giant-size drinks at the screen? Has anyone seen any ushers get beaten up?

I tried to visit Frank Sinatra’s grave at Desert Memorial Park in Rancho Mirage or Cathedral City or wherever. The address is 31-705 Da Vall Drive. I found the cemetery but not Frank. I searched and searched but couldn’t find plot B-8, #151. I’m sure that if I’d succeeded and taken a snap with my iPhone 4S, the photo would look something like this.

Cheers and earnest respect for the National Society of Film Critics for handing Best Picture to Lars von Trier‘s Melancholia, Best Director to Tree of Life‘s Terrence Malick, Best Actress to Melancholia‘s Kirsten Dunst, Best Actor to Moneyball‘s Brad Pitt, Best Supporting Actor to Drive‘s Albert Brooks, Best Supporting Actress to Jessica Chastain for all of her 2011 roles, and their Best Supporting Actress runner-up distinction to Margaret‘s Jeannie Berlin.

These, at least, are interesting, commendable choices.

HE to Variety‘s Jeff Sneider: The Artist‘s Jean Dujardin still has the Best Actor Oscar in the bag, right? He’s a cinch!

If anyone is still scrambling for a reasonably-priced Sundance Film Festival rental I can steer you toward two deals at the Park Regency, where I’m staying from 1.18 through 1.27. There’s a one-bedroom condo available from 1.14 to 1.21 for just $600, and another one-bedroom unit from 1.21 through 1.28 for $950. Both units have fold-out couches in the living room.

Blu-ray.com staff reviewer Jeffrey Kauffman has received Fox Home Video’s West Side Story replacement disc and has personally confirmed that the fade-to-black at the end of the overture problem has been removed in a new printing. Fox is exchanging bad discs via a toll free number (1.877.369.7867) or by emailing their customer service department (support@foxcustomercare.com). I wonder if I can exchange my British Bluray version?

Remember that the bad guys in this episode appear to have been (a) HTV Illuminate CEO Jim Hardy, who may have inserted the fade-to-black problem during the high-def scanning phase, according to views posted by restoration guru Robert Harris, (b) MGM Home Entertainment vp technical services Yvonne Medrano, and (c) to a lesser extent MGM Home Entertainment senior vp publicity Michael Brown for his refusal to respond to calls and emails during my initial reporting about this incident last November.

The Devil Inside “wildly overperformed on Friday, taking $16.9 million and knocking Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol out of the top spot at the box office,” reports TheWrap‘s Joshua Weinstein.

“Considering the movie had a budget of less than $1 million, the number is stunning. Paramount had expected Devil would gross $8 million for the entire weekend. Outside box-office watchers put that figure at $12 million to $14 million. And BoxOffice.com predicted $23 million.

“The scary movie is on track to exceed even that, possibly closing the weekend with nearly $40 million.”

So a movie that people of all ages income levels and ethnic persuasions are openly booing dsuring the closing credits is the first big box-office winner of 2012…brilliant.

The fundamental reason that many critics and critics groups have taken leave of their senses and praised (and in some cases awarded) lightweight mediocrities like The Artist, War Horse, The Help (along with Woody Allen‘s fine, lightly amusingMidnight in Paris) is the financial collapse of 2008. So it’s not Harvey Weinstein‘s marketing swagger that has led to The Artist dominating the 2011-2012 awards season. You actually need to blame John Paulson, Henry Paulson and fucking Lehman Brothers for that.

Or so says Deadline‘s Pete Hammond in a just-posted analysis:

“Recent Best Picture winners like The Hurt Locker, The Departed, No Country For Old Men, Crash, Slumdog Millionaire and nominees like There Will Be Blood, Babel, Michael Clayton, The Reader and many others exploring our darkest moments seemed to be what the Academy, and the public for that matter, wanted in their entertainment.

“But then bad economic times hit, really bad times, and the result seems to have spawned a different kind of top Oscar contender. Last year was the turning point as a more traditional period film that promoted a better view of ourselves handily defeated a more cynical movie that defines our times. In the battle of The King’s Speech vs. The Social Network, good old fashioned entertainment won out over edgy and complex, if superlative, filmmaking.

“Now at the top of most pundits lists we are seeing a return to the kinds of movies that might have worked in the Great Depression of the 1930?s when pure entertainment ruled the roost and Shirley Temple and Astaire and Rogers were must-sees.

“With frontrunners and early award magnets like the black-and-white silent film The Artist, Martin Scorsese‘s love letter to the earliest days of the movies Hugo, Woody Allen‘s nostalgic and romantic Midnight In Paris, and the glistening film-about-the-making-of-a-film My Week With Marilyn (just longlisted for a leading 16 BAFTA awards) it is a different kind of race entirely .

“These are the favorites in many categories while darker fare struggles to compete on the same level. It’s as if people are trying to use movies again for escape from the harsh realities of living in this modern, difficult world.”

I decided to see 45 minutes’ worth of SuperClasico at the Palm Springs High School, and then walk to the Camelot plex across the street to catch an 8 pm showing Turn Me On, Dammit! (I’ll see the remainder of SuperClasico today at 3 pm.) And I have to say, regretfully, that Turn Me On, Dammit! is slow-moving and interminable — one of the dullest sex comedy-teenage ennui films I’ve ever seen in my life. And I can’t say I was levitated by SuperClasico either, although it started to improve just as I was leaving.

A nice but dull Reid Rosefelt-approved shot of Helene Bergsholm, star of Turn Me On, Dammit!

Directed and co-written by Jannicke Systad Jacobsen, Turn Me On is a woman’s sexual awakening “comedy,” if you want to call it that. But it’s really about a teenaged girl’s sexual fantasies that don’t lead to anything except more fantasies. It’s also about dullness and torpor and being imprisoned in a small Norweigan hamlet in which nothing happens. Okay, smallish things happen (i.e., modest personal awakenings) but you know what I mean.

It has a running time of only 76 minutes, but it feels like 176 minutes.

Turn Me On, Dammit! reminded me somewhat of Lena Dunham‘s Tiny Furniture. In my 12.27.10 review I called Furniture “realistic and character-rich and low-key ‘cool’ [with] an honestly dreary vibe…not a lot happens, and the film takes its time about it. It has integrity, but it really could be titled A Life in Hell.” This is pretty much what Turn Me On is. Jacobsen wants you to experience the suffocating boredom as you sit in your seat, and that definitely happens, let me tell you.

It’s also fair to say that her film exudes the antithesis of the lively, wiggy vibe of a 1930s screwball comedy. The best way to see it would be to take two Percocets an hour before it starts, and then just sit there with your eyelids half-closed as it plays, sinking into your seat and going “aaaggghhhhhh.”

Helene Bergsholm plays Alma, a pretty 15 or 16 year-old who lives with her single mom and masturbates a lot and has phone sex and would like to have it off with Artur (Beate Stofring), a young candy-ass with a handsome face but no balls, no pizazz, no lust for anything. During a party Alma and Artur are chatting outside, and then one of two things happen: he either takes out his angry schlonghauffer and pokes her in the thigh with it, or she imagines the same.

Salacious (but thematically accurate and reflective) shot of Bergsholm in Turn Me On, Dammit!, sent out by European distributors…tasteless dickwads! How dare they send out a publicity still that suggets and evokes the compulsions and longings of the lead character! Don’t they have any decency? Any manners? Reid…you get what I’m saying. Can you give these animals a stern talking-to?

She tells her girlfriends about this, and Artur denies it and for some idiotic reason all the kids in her small town (the film was shot in Hjelmeland, Norway) decide she’s a pathetic loser and she becomes persona non grata — i.e., “Dick Alma.”

The movie sits there, I sat there, the audience of mostly 60 and 70somethings sat there, and we all wound down like a vinyl album playing on a vintage turntable in Frank Sinatra‘s home that has been just been unplugged….”whurrrrruuhhhrrrrmmm.”

I’ll write something about Superclasico when I see Part 2 later this afternoon.

After the deflation of Zhang Zimou‘s The Flowers of War (and writing the review) I saw portions of two more films — Ole Christian Madsen‘s Superclasico and Jannicke Systad Jacobsen‘s Turn Me On, Dammit!. And then I attended a party in honor of French-language cinema at “the Lucy house” — i.e., the Spanish adobe home once owned by Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz.

Friday, 1.6, 10:10 pm.

Fomer home of Frank Sinatra, 1148 Alejo, Palm Springs. Completely restored “by a couple of gay guys” with original ’50s furnishings and ’50s sound system.