Aimed At Tots or Tweeners?

“I saw an early screening of Malificent (Disney, 5.30) last November on the Disney lot,” an HE regular informs. “The visual effects weren’t anywhere near done, but the story was set. It’s basically a revision where everything isn’t so black and white. The villain has a backstory and the ending is different, and everything is told with more of an empowered female perspective. Jolie is fine, especially if you are open-minded. She has the malicious laugh, show a little teeth, has a little fun, and in the end she’s redeemed. Like I said, this is for a new generation of girls.

“It’s certainly lacking in scope and full realization, but I thought it was okay as far as these things go. After all, I’m not the target audience. I have zero desire to see this ever again, but I wouldn’t mind taking my nieces (maybe even my nephews). We’re growing as a civilization and Disney is growing with us. Pretty cool. I hope it’s a hit, for the sake of Jolie and Hollywood actresses in general. And, frankly, considering all the crap out there, you can do much worse.”

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Whither Noe?

A Paramount Pictures website listing the international release dates for Darren Aronofsky‘s Noah says the film will open in Mexico on Friday, March 21st. This information is what led to my temporary plan to drive to Tijuana next Friday to see Noah (or Noe, as it’s called in Mexico) if no local screening opportunity has presented itself. I know that the trades have seen it and will post their reviews on 3.21.

The weird part is that when I search around for 3.21 Noe openings in Tijuana or Ensenada, I can find nothing. I can find information about Noe playing in Guadalajara and Monterrey. I’ve also found a mention of an April 4th IMAX opening. But no listings of the film playing on any Tijuana or Ensenada screens. Are the powers-that-be temporarily keeping Noe out of Mexican theatres near the U.S. border to discourage guys like me from seeing it a week earlier than the 3.28 U.S. opening? I’m just scratching my head here.

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Orson Welles’ F For Fake

Three or four days hence the place will be re-painted and then some new fake wooden floors will be installed. A simulation, yes, but a decent-looking one. This means everything (furniture, TV/audio, paintings, photos, Blurays/DVDs, speakers, throw rugs, microwave, plants) will be moved outside by Wednesday or Thursday morning at the latest. All the cords and plugs and ornamental flotsam to be removed, boxed, tagged and taped up. I hate turning things upside down. I’ve been avoiding this for years. This will almost certainly mean an interruption in the HE flow…but maybe not.

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Second Thoughts

Rand Paul is going to be the 2016 Republican Presidential nominee. It has suddenly occured to me that his older GenX credentials (born in January 1963) and non-interventionist inclinations (linked to his general Libertarian views) may find support among Millenials. My younger son Dylan was a fan of his father, Ron Paul, in 2004. There also may be a general feeling of resentment or instinctual dislike of Hillary Clinton, who of course represents the entrenched swagger of the boomer establishment. I still don’t think this will prevent her election, which will be favored by a great majority of women (including the rural idiots) for the symbolic element alone. But she won’t win in a walk. Update: If HRC would just have a little eye-bag and neck-wattle work done, she’d be all the stronger.

Straight or Stoned

I’ve been watching Cosmos: A Space Time Odyssey — not on Fox (against my faith) but on the National Geographic channel. (The first episode is downloadable on the site.) Hosted by astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson; exec produced by Seth McFarlane. At least once a year everyone needs to lie down on a blanket on a clear night and just stare at the stars. (Straight is better but ripped is okay.) How many civilizations have flourished and died out there? Cultures and worlds that created technological wonders and works of amazing art, and then perished due to natural cosmic forces or (like us) via self-destruction by poisoning their planet and gradually making life less and less sustainable? How many hundreds or thousands of civilizations similar to our own have gone through this process? You want an intelligent answer? Ask a right-wing Christian.