In a Sunday Times interview Roseanne costar John Goodman said that Roseanne Barr’s character will be “killed off” in the upcoming spinoff series, to be called The Conners. Goodman said that his character, Dan, will “be mopey and sad because his wife’s dead.”

Does this strike anyone as a clever, catchy way to dispose of Roseanne’s character? Kill her like some Cuban assassin in a Scarface remake? Or what…give her cancer or something?

HE solution: Roseanne has left Dan for a Russian mobster, whom she met during a visit to see relatives in Chicago. The Russian boyfriend didn’t propose marriage but insisted that Roseanne divorce Dan so she’d be free to move with him to Moscow. The Russian guy is super-rich, but it’s not all hearts and flowers because he’s into whips, chains, bondage and discipline, which Roseanne has a problem with. But in for a penny, in for a pound.

Have we forgotten already what a wipeout True Detective became during its second season? In my book creator, co-writer and sometime director Nic Pizzolatto committed career hari kiri with that godforsaken series, which costarred Colin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Rachel McAdams, Taylor Kitsch and Kelly Reilly. The awe and respect everyone felt for Cary Fukunaga‘s season #1 (Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson) was wiped off the books by season #2 and then some. I’m not saying I won’t watch season #3, which costars Mahershala Ali, Ray Fisher, Carmen Ejogo, Stephen Dorff, Scoot McNairy and Mamie Gummer, but I’m very, very skeptical. The HBO series will premiere in January 2019.

During the late Dubya years I needed to settle upon an acceptable substitute for “man” (’50s, 60s, 70s) or “dude” (late ’80s, ’90s) or “bro,” which I always hated with a passion**. Sometime around ’06 I decided to give “dawg” a try, but I was immediately mocked (white guy using South Central terminology). I continued to use “dawg” in mock ironic fashion, but I more or less backed off. Two or three years ago I sidestepped into “brah”, but I’ve lately been favoring “bruh.” Here’s a three-year-old languagejones.com chart that conveyed the regional popularity of “brah,” “bruh” and “breh”. In all seriousness and no kidding around, it’s kinda more “bruh” than “brah” now…right?

** If “bro” ever had any cachet, it quickly died after the “don’t taze me, bro” incident at the University of Florida.

Matthew Heineman‘s A Private War (Aviron, 11.2) is some kind of high-anxiety, razor’s-edge saga of late war-zone journalist Marie Colvin. Rosamund Pike gets to play tough and tenacious with a Long John Silver eye patch, and Jamie Dornan tries to wash off the Fifty Shades of Grey stain by going all indie-gritty.

Written by Arash Amel, and based on a Marie Brenner Vanity Fair piece called “Marie Colvin’s Private War.”

On 2.22.12 Colvin was killed by shrapnel in the western region of Holms, Jordan. Her Wiki page says that “lawyers representing Colvin’s family filed a civil action in 2016 against the government of the Syrian Arab Republic for extrajudicial killing, claiming they had obtained proof that the Syrian government had directly ordered Colvin’s targeted assassination. In April 2018, the accusations were revealed on court papers filed by her family.”

A Private War will sidestep the prestigious early-fall festivals (Venice, Telluride, Toronto, New York) in order to have its world premiere at the Mill Valley Film Festival.

The 11.2 limited release will be followed by an expansion on 11.16. Pic costars Stanley Tucci, Tom Hollander and Corey Johnson. The dp is Robert Richardson.

It doesn’t get much truthier or more plain-spoken than this. Yes, it’s pronounced “demoGAH-jik.”