In its own backyard, Hollywood Elsewhere has identified why a fair amount of movies are vapid, insipid and formulaic to a fault. The reason is because of the cinematic preferences of two HE commenters — one called “Roscoe Coltrane” and another who goes by the name “Kit Reyes.” These guys aren’t literally the cause of shitty movies, of course, but they’ll do for metaphors.

Yesterday people were talking about the failure of Widows, and Roscoe posted the following: “I’ll be honest. I want to see this. I want to support Viola Davis. But I fucking refuse to be depressed at the movies. I fucking refuse. Too much shit going on in the world. I can’t get up for two hours of melodrama. Even well acted and shot melodrama.”

About ten hours later Reyes chimed in as follows: “I agree with you completely. That’s why, as dumb as Aquaman looks, people will watch it. Because people who don’t follow this site really just want to have a good time, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.”

To which I replied, “Yes, there is something wrong with that. As in a whole lot wrong ‘Just show me a good time, don’t bring me down and let me pop a Percocet’ attitudes encourage the very worst kind of jizz-whizz, jack-off filmmaking. The people who buy movie tickets based on this attitude are the reason so many films are trite and shallow and soul-draining. So thank you, Kit, for doing your part. And you too, Roscoe! Thanks for Aquaman and Otto Bathurst‘s Robin Hood! Films like this make me ten times more depressed than you ever felt because of this or that dreaded melodrama.”

Those Green Book dissers I wrote about three days ago need to review a History vs. Hollywood entry that compares the plot of Peter Farrelly‘s film to what actually happened between Don Shirley and Tony Lip 56 years ago. Seriously, jerk-offs…take three minutes and read it. It won’t kill you.

Sometime in ’75 or ’76 a dispute about character and responsibility arose between myself and cartoonist-musician Chance Browne. It stemmed from an accident that happened on a wooded hillside near the Wilton reservoir. Here’s an account that I believe to be honest and reasonably thorough:

Chance, myself and a likable, somewhat eccentric fellow named Mike Connors (currently living in Michigan) were hiking around the reservoir for some reason. Our nature-tripping motive may have had something to do with Chance having recently bought (or been gifted with) an expensive pair of big binoculars, or nothing to do with this — I can’t recall. But he definitely had them looped around his neck.

[Click through to full story on HE-plus]

Remember when Warner Home Entertainment pushed back the release date of the 2001: A Space Odyssey 4K Bluray, from 10.30 to 11.20? Which Digital Bits editor Bill Hunt said was probably “just an issue of replication under capacity causing delays in getting enough product finished for street date”? Well, I ordered the damn thing a while back, fully expecting a delivery sometime yesterday.

Forget it. Not only did I not find the package on my doorstep but Amazon hasn’t even shipped it yet, due to WHE not keeping up with demand, etc. WHE has now dropped the ball twice with this disc. Thanks, fellas, much obliged, etc.

For what it’s worth (probably not much), I agree with Michelle Wolf that the recent decision by the White House Correspondents’ Association to not invite a comedian to next April’s event is craven and cowardly. Author Ron Chernow has been invited to be the featured speaker. The WHCA honchos are plainly sucking up to the Trump administration, and probably hoping to persuade the President, who hasn’t attended since assuming office, to drop by. Which will increase ratings and drive sales.

The family of the late William Goldman is hosting a celebration of his life a week and a half from now. In midtown Manhattan. I’m mentioning this because the invite reads “please let us know if you would like us to share this invitation with anyone else who should receive it.” Meaning that their roster of Bill’s soulmates, respected colleagues and fond acquaintances is less than complete. If you and he had some kind of profound give-and-take at one point or another, write me and I’ll pass your information along.

Late last night Paul Schrader described the traditional role of the U.S. President as a “global puncher…we make things happen.” His follow-up was “what happens when an insecure someone who sees himself as a counter-puncher rather then a puncher is put in this position?”

In response Jon Jost wrote that the U.S. role “has been that of empire builder, extortionist and military monster getting its way. After WW2 we were left standing while everyone else was wasted, so we rigged the global economy to run on U.S. [spending and investments], and enjoyed military dominance. Ever since we have used economic blackmail backed with military force to get our way, which seldom was in the locals’ interest, although we had a major propaganda system (including Hollywood) to convince the world that we wore the white hat.

“In reality we were just plain greedy and evil, and a survey of, oh, Central America, South America, Africa and much of Asia proves the point. We are rapists and murderers.”

Edward Havens reply: “So no other civilization in the history world ever conquered the known world and used their power to get their way? America simply perfected what Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Caesar Augustus, Genghis Khan and King James I could only dream of doing. And like every other empire, the American empire will fall…if the descent hasn’t started already.”

Don McLaren reply: “As diabolical as the U.S. has been at times, we were still probably the most benevolent hegemon in history.”

I’ve long felt that people who use exclamation points in any context (letters, essays, reviews, policy statements) are to be regarded askance. Exclamation points should be used very sparingly, if at all. Their prominent use tends to indicate a lack of education and refinement. The only time it’s cool to use exclamation points is when you’re leaving post-it notes for your spouse or kids or cohabitants, telling them not to forget this or that (“gas up before leaving!”) or not to eat this or that. A post-it note on a carton of eggs, for instance, that you don’t want them to break open and scramble because you bought them and they’re yours — “No!”

…there’s really and truly something wrong with you. As in deficient, arrested, underdeveloped. This will be the last mention of Aquaman on this site.