Month: July 2021

HE: I’ve been telling myself that I have to see David Lowery‘s The Green Knight this weekend, but something in me is rebelling against the idea of seeing it in a theatre. The memory of Pete’s Dragon won’t leave me alone. Did you see it?

Stormy Monday: I was bored to tears.

HE: Thank God!!! I knew that 54% Rotten Tomatoes audience score had to be grounded in something or other. When 54% of the ticket buyers give it a thumbs-down, you know something’s wrong.

Stormy: I didn’t expect it to be near-plotless. It’s just a reason for Lowery to indulge in these dreamy visuals but the substance is pretty thin.

HE: So what’s everyone going nuts about?

Stormy: About basically how weird, seductive and visually sumptuous the whole thing is. Plus it’s pretty woke.

HE: What’s the woke aspect exactly?

Stormy: Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think there ever was an Indian knight before in a major studio picture

HE: Of course not, but that’s standard Hollywood “presentism” a la David Copperfield. Presentism is accepted as a given these days. Because even in a historical framework, filmmakers have to make it clear that all tribes are equally good to go in a historical context, and that racism is, was and always will be intolerable.

Stormy: Yah, revisionist history. But I couldn’t care less about that if the movie was actually absorbing, involving, etc.

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Flag Day “is suffused with what you might call the Penn Darkness Factor. It tells the story of the richly troubled, twisted, and touching relationship between a father, John Vogel, played by Sean Penn as one of the most scurrilous dads in the history of movies, and his daughter, Jennifer, played by Penn’s own daughter, Dylan Penn, who gives a fantastic performance. Yet this scoundrel father, who she has systematically learned not to trust, is the only father she has.

“That’s the story Flag Day tells, and it’s the reason the movie hits such a universal nerve. The wrenching pain of it is that he’s a counterfeit father who’s also the real deal.” — from Owen Gleiberman’s 7.10.21 Variety review.

Last week Jeff Bezos and three others rocketed to the edge of space aboard Blue Origin’s New Shepard space capsule, which was named for Alan B. Shepard (11.18.23 — 7.21.98).

An honored naval pilot and NASA astronaut, Shepard is famous for four things: (1) Being the first American to soar into space, albeit for only 15 minutes, — it happened aboard a Mercury spacecraft on 5.5.61, and inside a small capsule called the Freedom 7; (2) Having acquired the reputation of a cocktail-lounge hound during the Mercury training period in and around Cocoa Beach, at least according to Tom Wolfe‘s “The Right Stuff“; (3) Being forced to take a leak inside his suit prior to the 5.15.61 flight, because of a five-hour flight delay and not being able to hold it any longer; and (4) Becoming the fifth man to walk on the moon (it happened in ’71, during the Apollo 14 mission), and hitting two golf balls on the lunar surface.

Sidenote #1: Shepard sliced or shanked both shots — excusable because he was forced to whack the balls one-handed due to his bulky Apollo space suit. Despite the enormous gravitational advantages, Shepard’s golf balls travelled only about 40 yards. Sidenote #2: Soon after the flight Norman Mailer complained on the Dick Cavett Show that Shepard’s golf stunt reflected an attitude of American arrogance.

The ’61 Shepard flight was nerve-wracking for tens of millions of TV viewers because who knew what might happen? The booster could blow up, something technical could go wrong, etc. It was the very first time an American had ascended on a flaming rocket, and to the edge of space yet — “What a beautiful view,” Shepard said.

When JFK mentioned certain NASA stalwarts who oversaw and engineered the Freedom 7 flight, he added that “most of these names are unfamiliar…if this flight had not been an overwhelming success these names would be very familiar to everyone.” [1:51 mark.)=]

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True Topanga Canyon story: It was around ’84, maybe ’85. I was platonically chummy with Kathryn, a whipsmart production executive, a woman with a good heart who suffered no fools. She was sharing a sizable home in Topanga Canyon with a couple of others, and every so often would invite friends over on a Saturday or Sunday. I attended a couple of these schmoozers. Filmmakers, publicists, producers, writers, production veterans…late 20s to late 30s.

A day after one of the get-togethers Kathryn called to say that a female friend of hers liked me, and that I should give her a ring. Let’s call her Laura. I wasn’t sure who she was, and Kathryn was reluctant to offer any specifics other than the fact that Laura and I had briefly spoken at some point.

I finally persuaded Kathryn to offer a vague physical description, and it came to light that Laura was a nice but less-than-dynamically attractive 20something who was on the pudgy side. The weight issue was what jarred my memory.

As I respected and trusted Kathryn, I figured I could level with her as our chat would go no further. So I told her Laura wasn’t my type and that I wasn’t exactly into plus-sized women — no offense.

Kathryn felt free to be candid also, and so a split second after I said “plus-sized” she said, “You bastard!” As in “how dare you refuse this intelligent, good-hearted, high-quality woman just because she’s not rail-thin?”

I thought I was being a good guy for two reasons. One, I was being honest with a friend and two, I wasn’t interested in having sex just because it was more or less being offered to me. I wanted intimacy only with women I was genuinely aroused or intrigued by, and preferably both.

That wasn’t how Kathryn saw it. She knew and cared for Laura, and apparently over the previous couple of years the poor woman had experienced some hurtful, frustrating or otherwise unsatisfying relationships, and here I was doing nothing to alleviate her distress or otherwise brighten her day.

I said I was sorry but what did Kathryn want me to do, lie or pretend?

Imagine if the situation had been reversed. Imagine if I’d found Laura attractive and a male friend of mine who knew her had called and said that I’m smitten and would like to go out with her, etc. Imagine if Laura had told my friend “well, I’m very flattered but Jeff isn’t my type…no offense but I’m just not interested, much less aroused.”

How would it have been if my friend had replied, “You bitch! His feelings will really be hurt by this!” Different rules, different standards.

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“The Woke Olympics,” 2:05: “[The Tokyo Olympic firings are] what’s called a purge. It’s a mentality that belongs in Stalin’s Russia. How bad does this atmosphere we are living in have to get before the people who say ‘cancel culture is overblown’…how bad does it have to get before they admit this is an insanity that is swallowing up the world? [No applause, just a smattering.] Where did we get this crowd? I’m back, not the audience. [Back to script] And that is not a conservative position, my friends. My politics have not changed — I am reacting to politics that have. This is yet another example how [wokesters] invert the very thing that used to make liberals, liberals. Snitches and bitches? That’s not being liberal.”

SPOILERS: Even if you’ve just read a couple of Stillwater reviews, you know that Abigail Breslin‘s “Allison Baker” character is doing time in a Marseilles jail for the murder of her girlfriend. You also know the movie is about Matt Damon‘s “Bill Baker”, her bumblefuck dad, trying to uncover evidence that might pin the blame on a fair-haired white guy named Akim (Idir Azougli).

Here are the spoiler parts: (a) By the end of the film I’m not 100% sure if the movie has clarified the matter of Allison’s guilt or innocence, and (b) there’s a third-act moment in which a stressed and frenzied Akim explains something about the climactic moment in which Allison’s girlfriend died (i.e., something to do with a necklace?). Except I couldn’t understand what Akim was saying.

Friendo: Do you think the movie is saying that the daughter was guilty? I didn’t necessarily get that.

HE: It seemed to be saying that she probably was. Those middle-aged French guys sitting around a poker table and discussing Allison’s case…”she killed her, that’s love.”

Friendo: But some were saying that she wasn’t guilty. I thought the point (it was fuzzy so I’m not at all clear on it) is that [Akim] killed her, but she was there.

HE: Then why does she endure four years in that Marseilles jail before asking her dad to reach out to an attorney to pursue a lead about Akim’s possible culpability?

Friendo: And when Akim blurts out what he knows, obviously something important…I couldn’t understand him.

HE: His thick French accent plus the shrieking tone and stress in his voice….the combination was insurmountable.

Friendo: And it was the key plot point in the film!

HE to Commentariat: Can anyone clear this up? Allison, Akim and the whole damn shmear?

No offense, but the practical-minded realists in this country who’ve been double vaxxed are sick and tired of your submental vaccine-avoiding bullshit. The combination of the Delta variant and your ridiculous obstinacy now threatens to put this country right back into the pandemic hole that we’ve only recently began to climb out of.

So guess what? We’ve decided to follow the French and President Emmanuel Macron in particular. As of September 1, 2021, unvaccinated Americans will become untouchable and unserviceable. Anyone without a vaccine card will be prohibited from entering cinemas or restaurants, flying on planes, taking trains or using public bathroooms. Just like in France, baby!

You did this to yourselves, fellas. I’m sorry but we were almost out of the woods a couple of months ago and you guys — you! — messed it up for everyone. And dammit, we’re not standing for this crap any longer. So it’s your call — grow up and join the sane, sensible majority or suffer the consequences. You’ve got a little more than a month — get the stab or else.

Don’t like the new rules? Tough. Planning to vote against me in ‘24? Go for it. But public access-wise, transportation-wise, going out for dinner and a movie-wise and even using the bathroom at the mall-wise, your stupid unvaccinated asses will be grass as of 9.1.21. Like it or lump it.

Regards, President Joe Biden

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Last March the intemperate, hyperventilating woke jackal mob did their best to bring about my death. It was partly about HE having posted an insensitive comment, albeit one that might have been mentioned by any half-attuned industry insider who knows how Oscar-voting sentiments tend to work on deep-down levels. It was mainly a matter of indelicate timing.

I naturally apologized for this transgression, despite (a) my not having actually written a damn thing myself (I’d posted an excerpt of an email chat) and (b) my having quickly removed the post when the Twitter banshees went nuts.

I was reminded a few days ago that a similar thing happened in late November 2014, in the immediate wake of an announcement by the Ferguson grand jury that no charges would be filed against Officer Darren Wilson in the death of Michael Brown.

Right after the Ferguson Grand Jury verdict was read, and just before a Disney-lot screening of Into The Woods, I tweeted that a possible “strike a match rather than curse the darkness” response to this otherwise tragic event might be a surge of industry Best Picture support for Selma. Yup — another instance of the wrong HE tweet at the wrong time. But all I said was that symbolically lighting a candle rather than lamenting the ugliness might be a good thing in the end.

The Twitter community didn’t dig it. I was all but roasted alive for saying this. Many people tweeted that I sounded like an insensitive asshole. How dare I suggest, after all, that there was (or might be) linkage between Ferguson and Selma‘s Oscar chances.

But at heart I had tweeted a positive sentiment. I was thinking, you see, of Martin Luther King’s words about how only love can eradicate hate. I was thinking that standing by a film about human dignity, compassion and human rights would serve as a positive response to the Ferguson situation.

Okay, I didn’t say it in quite the right way. But I was trying to suggest that in a roundabout fashion this would be a way of showing love and respect for the right things and the right people.

A couple of days later Selma director director Ava DuVernay pointed out a direct connection between her film and what had happened in Ferguson.

She did so in an Eric Kohn Indiewire interview with Selma director Ava DuVernay and Fruitvale Station director-writer Ryan Coogler about their support of the Black Friday Blackout.

For me, the stand-out portion was when Kohn asked DuVernay if she saw “any direct connections between today’s climate in the immediate aftermath of Ferguson in the story of Selma.” DuVernay responded as follows: “Yes, absolutely. It’s the same story repeated. The same exact story.

“An unarmed black citizen is ‎assaulted with unreasonable force and fatal gunfire by a non-black person who is sworn to serve and protect them. A small town that is already fractured by unequal representation in local government and law enforcement begins to crack under the pressure. People of color, the oppressed, take to the street to make their voices heard. The powers that be seek to extinguish those voices.”

I don’t agree with each and every line of what follows. Some of it is too blunt and strident, and the opening line should read “Hollywood critics monolithically adhere to authoritarian leftism.” But certain passages, I regret to say, are somewhere between close to the truth and dead-on. The part that mentions Variety editors having apologized for critic Dennis Harvey‘s review of Promising Young Woman…that’s what got me. I’m not a huge fan of the author, but as I was reading this I had to ask myself “what if this had been written by someone I’m mostly okay with?”

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