Day: March 11, 2022

The fabled “Summer of Love” happened from May to September of ‘67…okay?

…and do you care that three big awards ceremonies are happening this weekend? The Directors Guild Awards are happening Saturday, and we all know that’s a lock for The Power of the Dog‘s Jane Campion along with The Lost Daughter‘s Maggie Gyllenhaal for First-Time Feature. Then comes the BAFTA awards on Sunday afternoon (12 noon Pacific) but that organization has been more or less woked and Stalinized to death so nobody cares. Then comes the Critics Choice awards on Sunday evening, but they’re also on their own little orbit. Not even nominating Parallel Wives‘ Penelope Cruz for Best Actress constitutes some kind of aesthetic blockage, no?

I’d like to be able to lie and get away with it, but the truth is this: If I could somehow become the recipient of a sizable amount of Russian cash, I would probably take it and run like a thief. I feel ashamed to admit this.

Kremlin-backed millionaires “can rinse their dirty money clean by buying up the most expensive houses in London,” says @JonathanPieNews, a fictional newscaster created by the British comedian Tom Walker. “It’s how the U.K. makes money.” https://t.co/8JBC3lueAv pic.twitter.com/NAoV7ib0pD

— New York Times Opinion (@nytopinion) March 11, 2022

If Vlady knows “Blueberry Hill” and has the courage to sing it front of a celebrity audience, he could certainly do “Jailhouse Rock.” Imagine!

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Remember the legendary Jen Yamato, one of Hollywood’s leading advocates for Presentism and Tribal Representation, complaining to Joel and Ethan Coen in 2016 about Hail Caesar, which is set in 1951, being almost entirely cast with white people?

Yamato: “I asked the Coens to respond to criticisms that there aren’t more minority characters in the film. In other words, why is #HailCaesarSoWhite?”” In response to which Joel and Ethan basically called Yamato an idiot who knew nothing about how stories are written.

“It’s an absolute, absurd misunderstanding of how things get made to single out any particular story and say, ‘Why isn’t this, that or the other thing [included]?’’ Joel said. ‘It’s a fundamental misunderstanding of how stories are written. So you have to start there and say, ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Well, wokester “presentism” is back with an ardor and a vengeance, it would seem. Certain Twitter psychos are complaining that Christopher Nolan‘s currently shooting Oppenheimer is guilty of the same thing. As Cleavon Little might have said in Blazing Saddles, “Hey, where all da black and Asian people at?”

The reason that the cast of Oppenheimer is seemingly all Anglo Saxon is presumably because history tells us that the Manhattan Project principals were entirely Anglo Saxon. Yes, I realize that the real reason is that Nolan is a racist who is foursquare against casting actors of color — he’s not fooling anybody! But at the same time the history of the Manhattan Project has been researched and reported, and it is what it is.

Yolando Machado? Mett Jen Yamato!

On 6.18.91 the late Johnny Carson was slapped in the mouth by a Celebes ape — aka a crested black macaque or black ape. His name was “Doc.”

Everyone has seen this clip, I presume,. but the best part, I feel, isn’t the slap but the mimicry stuff that begins around the 3:40 mark.

This is how Hollywood Elsewhere relates to all animals — I talk to them in their language. I meow, I whimper, I moan, I make little noises with my mouth. Basic emotional tone is what matters, but you also have to reach out.