I think I shall never despise a driving-aid app as much as I do Waze. Waze’s driving instructions are competent as far as they go, but I hate how the vocal Waze friendo never tells you what street or boulevard you’re turning on to — he/she just says “in one tenth of a mile, turn right.”

Most of us like to drive with the whole equation in our heads — heading south, approaching this or that major intersection or turn-off, X number of miles until the final destination, etc. WAZE ignores all that, treats you like an idiot. “You may think you want to know street names and mileage estimates and stuff like that, but you don’t need to,” the software says. “Just follow our cretin-level directions and we’ll get you where you want to go.”

Today Waze made a colossal mistake that I’ll never forgive it for. We were driving south on interstate 5, 15 minutes north of San Diego and just south of Torrey Pines. Our hotel (a Holiday Inn Express on Ash between Sixth and Seventh) is right smack in the middle of downtown, and there was only one way to get there — stay on the 5, which goes right through to central San Diego.

Did Waze tell me to stay on the 5? Of course not. It told me to take the 805 south (a loop highway for people looking to bypass the city), and then go south on the 163, which very gradually led me to the right address. But what an asinine suggestion. The best route between two points is the most direct, and not the most roundabout.

HE to Waze: I loathe your simpleton voice directions. As far as I’m concerned you’re equally confusing as helpful, and from time to time (like today) a hindrance to sensible driving. I’m a Google Maps guy all the way. I don’t want to hear your name again…ever.