Last night I saw Josh and Rebecca Tickell‘s Kiss The Ground (Netflix, 9.22), which basically suggests…actually persuades that the only sensible way to save our poisoned planet is to turn to Mother Earth for nourishment, and more specifically to regenerate topsoil by returning as much compost and shit as possible back into the ground — cowshit, steer shit, pigshit, even human shit.

Soil is nothing without natural ingredients, and modern farming techniques (including the use chemical plant-growth additives) only seem to make things worse in the long run.

The technical term is “regenerative agriculture,” which also means increasing biodiversity (which means rotating crops, right?), keeping the soil dark and rich, figuring out ways to improve water supply, enhancing ecosystem services, etc.

The film is based on Josh’s same-titled 2017 book.

The only thing I didn’t feel wonderful about (although I didn’t exactly mind this) are the generic lefty celebrities who appear on-camera to advocate for regenerative farming, etc. I completely agree with the program, but something in me goes “watch it” when Woody Harrelson turns up as the narrator of anything, or when Patricia Arquette, Ian Sommerhalder and Gisele Bündchen are shown strolling around an organic farm and hanging with the employees and whatnot. I wish that that the Tickells had managed to persuade…I don’t know, Arnold Schwarzenegger or someone with a libertarian or green Republican background to make an appearance.

I’m just a West Hollywood guy who lives for column-writing, rumble-hogging, aggressively fast wifi and movies (Bluray + streaming) on my 65-inch HDR Sony 4K, but I understand and support what Kiss The Ground is saying. It makes sense, I mean. Everyone should see it and think about how they live and what they can do, etc.

To be perfectly honest if I were living and working on an organic farm I would draw the line at pooping in buckets and dumping the contents into a hole. I’m sorry but I’m a Nancy Boy at heart and I need my fresh-smelling, deodorized, ultra-antiseptic, Aqua Velva powder room atmosphere to keep body and soul together.

I have no objection if others wish to use the bucket-and-bury approach to building up soil nutrients, but don’t ask me to go there. Please.