Jeffrey Wells

Does Greta Gerwig’s Barbie represent a rebirth or regeneration of Alan Carr’s Can’t Stop The Music (‘79)? Because the male characters in these new Barbie posters are obviously modeled on the Village People of the late ’70s. Actually, scratch that — the Village People guys were mocking traditional machismo, but they were certainly more manly than these Barbie kewpie dolls. No, Klaus Barbie doesn’t fit in, and that’s not even funny. The ‘63 version of Steve McQueen rides his motorcycle into Barbieland in search of the infamous Nazi war criminal, but gets distracted by the impossibly sexy Alexandra Shipp…naah, doesn’t work. I’m totally confused.

Q: Where are the men in this movie? A: What can I do, what can I be…when I’m with you, I wanna stay there.

From “What Is Barbie Going For, Exactly?” by Vulture‘s Jason P. Frank:

“The main issue is that we don’t actually know what the plot of the movie is.

“In the early stages of the film, it was supposed to be ‘a fish-out-of-water story a la Splash and Big, whereby Barbie gets kicked out of Barbieland because she’s not perfect enough, a bit eccentric and doesn’t fit in,’ Deadline reported back in 2018. ‘She then goes on an adventure in the real world and by the time she returns to Barbieland to save it, she has gained the realization that perfection comes on the inside, not the outside, and that the key to happiness is belief in oneself, free of the obligation to adhere to some unattainable standard of perfection.’

“That plot is not out of the question, but the film seems a bit more meta than that description allows for — the teaser implies a specific knowledge of Barbie’s real-world impact, for example. Also, Will Ferrell has been confirmed to be playing the CEO of Mattel, which means that Barbie could gain sentience (??) at some point.

“We do have one other fun clue — Margot Robbie’s Letterboxd account, which was unearthed and then promptly deleted. The category of ‘Watch for Barbie’ included such titles as The Truman Show, Splash, Puberty Blues, The Young Girls of Rochefort and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. The Truman Show has an obvious connection to the ‘CEO of Mattel’ situation, but perhaps most interesting is the inclusion of Jacques Demy’s The Umbrellas of Cherbourg and The Young Girls of Rochefort, both of which are musicals. Umbrellas is a searingly emotional, entirely sung-through romantic drama, while Young Girls is a musical comedy.

“Given the amount of dancing that is flashed through in the teaser trailer — including with Simu Liu and Margot Robbie in a disco dress — Barbie might be…a musical. Not to mention Dua Lipa, confirmed singer, is part of the cast.

“What is Barbie? So far, it’s a collection of references — meta, esoteric, and pop culture alike — all wrapped up in a pretty pink bow.”

HE: London in November can sometimes be on the mild side, but it’s certainly not T-shirt weather…try again! At the very least it’s jacket weather. Oh, and November leaves have turned orange, yellow and brown and are generally on the ground…try again.

…from a film of this sort are stabs at semi–fresh invention — departures from the usual formula, a surprise or two, unexpected gravitas and a film that basically says “this is a franchise thing, okay, but it’s also 2023 and here we all are, and there’s something about this immediacy that really and truly matters to many of us, and here’s a taste of that.”

Spare us, in short, from the past and the drumbeat of constant Spielberg-Lucas tributes.

HE to Correcting Jeff [posted this morning in “Don’t Lecture Me” comment thread]:

I’ve read and read every day of my life, although to be honest I’m better at reading chapters or portions or halves than entire books. Life often distracts, intervenes. Each and every day I drop a ball, it seems, and fail to catch it on the bounce.

HE’s library list includes John Updike, Don DeLillo, Joan Didion, Cormac McCarthy, Truman Capote, Harper Lee, William Styron, Pauline Kael, Daphne du Maurier, Michael Chabon, Chuck Palahniuk, Robert M. Pursig, Michael Herr, Gore Vidal, the collected essays of Otis Ferguson, damn near all of J.D.Salinger, Joseph Heller, Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Conrad, et. al., and some of John Steinbeck.
.
I’ve read D.H. Lawrence, Henry Miller’s “Tropic of Cancer,” Herman Hesse, Aldous Huxley, Woody Allen’s short stories, Robert Benchley’s stuff, rock legend bios, endless Hollywood histories (David Thomson’s “The Whole Equation”). And occasional throwaway stuff (“The Nine Nations of North America,” Abbie Hoffman’s “Revolution For The Hell Of It”).

I’ve never read “A Tale of Two Cities” but I’ve read “Tom Sawyer” and the Bhagavad Gita (repeatedly) and one or two books by Alan Watts and “The Red Badge of Courage” and “The Final Days” and almost all of Norman Mailer, Tom Wolfe and Hunter S. Thompson.

Why am I taking the time to make the case for my own literacy to a coarse, badgering asshat on a comment thread?

Honest, no–bullshit question: Have you ever read Nick Tosches’ “Dino: Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams”? I’ve read that book cover to cover TWICE.

“It’s funny to hear these [mewing little kittens] treating the John Wick flicks like they’re major narrative-driven movies capable of being ‘spoiled.’ I like the new Wick, but neither Wells nor the spoiler whiners seem to understand that a plot doesn’t matter to these movies at all, and [that] notions of death matter even less.” — HE commenter “Chuck.”

“Isn’t the ending of John Wick 4 all over the internet? I haven’t seen the film, haven’t read a single review, have no interest in the Wick films. But I know that Wick dies or probably ‘dies’ at the end of this one. Seems to be an open secret on the web, so calling spoiler in this case sounds a bit like complaining about people talking about Jesus being crucified at the end of a new Jesus movie.” — HE commenter “Renaissance.”

“I wouid have never mentioned the Darth Vader-Luke Skywalker blood relationship two weekends after opening day. That film is sacred and holy, and it would’ve been criminal to spoil it.

“The difference is clear. JW4 is flotsam — a rank and cynical pornoviolent ‘musical’ that pollutes the environment and lowers the spiritual property values in each and every realm with its gross and cynical disregard for life. I spit on this movie.

“I respected the rights of unpolluted viewers for TWO FULL WEEKENDS. What was I supposed to do, wait six months or something? Besides, like I said, it was really Stahelski’s fault.” — Jeffrey Wells, posted this morning [4.3] in response to spoiler whiner kvetching.

Don’t…y’know, beat me over the head with a guilt stick. Make it feel like Costa-Gavras’s Z. That’s all I’m saying. Don’t Detroit me.

Instead of using the term “tiresome fanatical woke asshole,” use “super-sensitive word monk.”

Read more

From David Remnick’s “An American Tragedy, Act III,” posted in the New Yorker on 3.30.23:

It’s been confirmed by Variety’s Elsa Keslassy that Martin Scorsese’s Killers of the Flower Moon will not only play the ‘23 Cannes Film Festival but debut on Saturday, 5.20, and will thereby avoid the dreaded opening-night slot.

It tends to be bad business all around for a serious film to open the festival. Occupying that berth usually means there’s something a tiny bit flabby and less than snap-crackle-pop about the film in question. Thank God Flower Moon has chosen to avoid that signage.

Keslassy reports that the festival hasn’t specified whether or not Scorsese’s film will play in or out of competition. Wouldn’t it seem odd if a decision is made to screen it out of competition? Just asking.