In the old days epic movies had a standardized accent system — American accents for the good guys, cultured British or mid-Atlantic accents for the bad guys. This was how it worked in many ’50s and ’60s sword-and-sandal epics (Spartacus being one, except when it came to John Gavin‘s Julius Caesar). It was also how it worked in 1977’s Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia and Uncle Owen all sounded like they’d grown up in Montana or Oregon or Southern California, and Emperor Palpatine, Darth Vader, Peter Cushing‘s Grand Moff Tarkin and other officers of the Empire all spoke with Cambridge accents or…you know, some kind of crisp upper-crusty diction.

Audiences accepted this symbolic system without complaint because it was more or less uniform. Everyone understood that the accents meant something in terms of character and allegiance, and that was fine.

But in Star Wars: The Force Awakens the system is no longer in place. It sounds like a crazy accent salad. Daisy Ridley‘s Rey speaks with an English accent that’s part university and part Soho retail (and most definitely not Cary Grant-ish), and John Boyega‘s Finn, a south-of-the-river guy, speaks with an “acted” American accent. And yet Adam Driver‘s Kylo Ren has an American accent so what the eff?

Initially posted on 2.26.13, re-posted today over something that happened last night: There are three kinds of pain-in-the-ass parking-lot drivers out there. I hate them with every drop of blood in my heart, and I’m just trying to decide which is the worst.

Is it (a) the person who eases into a space and yet doesn’t turn their car off for some reason and just sits there idling, which indicates to others that he/she may be pulling out and which sometimes creates parking-lot jams because people stop and wait when they see a car just sitting there with the effing tail lights on? These stationary idlers are perfectly aware of the trouble they’re creating, and they do it anyway.

Is it (b) the person who walks up to their car, gets in, turns it on and does absolutely dead fricking nothing for two, three or four minutes? Just sitting there endlessly, pondering life and death and the whereabouts of Godot as they try to remember if they need to buy more cat litter?

Or is it (c) the person who parks in a space and then, instead of turning the car off, just chills like a department-store dummy and then, after sitting there for 45 or 60 or 120 seconds, very slowly backs out about six to eight feet — ahhh, they’re leaving! — and then drives back into the space again because — ohh, I see! — they wanted to park a bit more precisely parallel to the white lines.

Once you’ve parked your car, turn it the hell off. And if you’re getting into your car to leave, turn on the ignition and then carefully but expeditiously pull the hell out without any of that “middle-aged lady sitting there and checking her phone messages for two or three minutes” crap. I swear to God people should be given tickets for pulling this stuff.

Two days ago I did a 20-minute sitdown with Hateful Eight director-writer Quentin Tarantino at the Four Seasons. Just a mild little lunch chat. I’d decided in the wake of Saturday’s Kurt Russell contretemps (his, not mine) to not voice any criticism and just cruise along as it were. If you want to characterize my end of the conversation as “obsequious” or “ass-kissing,” go right ahead. But when you’re sitting down to lunch you don’t want to start any shit. Life is good, enjoy the vibe.

Quentin Tarantino — Sunday, 11.6, 12:40 pm during Four Seasons restaurant patio lunch.

We talked about Quentin’s New Beverly and particularly his love for 35mm viewing vs. my concerns about same. I mentioned how Pete Hammond told me that a recently screened print of The Bravados was totally spotless, and Quentin mentioned how he’s been getting mint-condition archival prints. Quentin says he’s down with 35m even when prints have a certain degree of wear and tear (scratches, skips, dirt marks) because, he feels, old prints carry a certain residue of all the performances they’ve given, and therefore a residue of all the emotions they generated.

He also mentioned that the New Beverly will be showing Man in The Wilderness, a lower-budgeted 1971 version of The Revenant with Richard Harris as Leonardo DiCaprio, on December 9th and 10th.

I mentioned the vague kinship I feel over Tarantino having admitted to not paying parking tickets when he was young and poor, as I’ve also done.

I dreamt last night that I was re-watching The Hateful Eight, or more particularly the closing credits. And that I suddenly perked up when instead of Ennio Morricone‘s music Elton John and Bernie Taupin‘s “Captain Fantastic and the Brown-Dirt Cowboy” (the single, not the album) began playing. All I can relate is how right this musical choice felt in the dream — a perfect, fuck-it counterweight to the 175-minute film that preceded it. Critics like David Erlich, Drew McWeeny and Kris Tapley would probably throw up at this notion, but I’m telling you it worked in my head.

I do the same kind of easy-default Sundance Film Festival spitballing every December. I checkmark the titles, directors and actors I know or trust on some level and work outward from there. Per longstanding tradition, I’ll be able to see around 20 to 25 films during my nine days in Park City, depending on stamina and whatnot. (The festival runs from 1.21 to 1.31.) I’m naturally looking for tips from anyone who knows anything about potentially cool obscuros. So here goes with the boldfacing primes vs. shoulder-shruggers — so far I’ve got 20 prime titles, and that’s not including any Dramatic Competition titles:

PRIME PREMIERES:

Ali & Nino / United Kingdom (Director: Asif Kapadia, Screenwriter: Christopher Hampton) — Muslim prince Ali and Georgian aristocrat Nino have grown up in the Russian province of Azerbaijan. Their tragic love story sees the outbreak of the First World War and the world’s struggle for Baku’s oil. Ultimately they must choose to fight for their country’s independence or for each other. Cast: Adam Bakri, Maria Valverde, Mandy Patinkin, Connie Nielsen, Riccardo Scamarcio, Homayoun Ershadi. World Premiere.

Certain Women / U.S.A. (Director: Kelly Reichardt, Screenwriter: Kelly Reichardt based on stories by Maile Meloy) — The lives of three woman intersect in small-town America, where each is imperfectly blazing a trail. Cast: Laura Dern, Kristen Stewart, Michelle Williams, James Le Gros, Jared Harris, Lily Gladstone. World Premiere.

Complete Unknown / U.S.A. (Director: Joshua Marston, Screenwriters: Joshua Marston, Julian Sheppard) — When Tom and his wife host a dinner party to celebrate his birthday, one of their friends brings a date named Alice. Tom is convinced he knows her, but she’s going by a different name and a different biography—and she’s not acknowledging that she knows him. Cast: Rachel Weisz, Michael Shannon, Kathy Bates, Danny Glover. World Premiere.

Frank & Lola / U.S.A. (Director and screenwriter: Matthew Ross) — A psychosexual noir love story—set in Las Vegas and Paris—about love, obsession, sex, betrayal, revenge and, ultimately, the search for redemption. Cast: Michael Shannon, Imogen Poots, Michael Nyqvist, Justin Long, Emmanuelle Devos, Rosanna Arquette. World Premiere.

I was near the Cinerama Dome last night when a big, nicely-designed Where To Invade Next bus pulled up and parked right on Sunset. At first I was expecting director-writer Michael Moore to step out but no — the bus just sat there. Presumably it’s a kind of roving billboard thing, making its way around town and parking near  big movie theatres…something like that.

Sunset near Ivar — Sunday, 12.6, 8 pm-ish.

SAG and Golden Globe nominations will be announced on Wednesday, 12.9 and Thursday, 12.10, respectively. Several publicists have written, as always, asking if I’m interested in doing reaction interviews with nominees. My stock reply: “You know me, guys. I just like to stick to analysis. The nominees are, of course, obliged to sound modest and thankful, and that plus two Excedrin PMs always puts everyone to sleep. Rules of the game. Thanks for offering. — Jeff.”

If and when HE’s own Paul Dano gets nominated by SAG and/or the HFPA, this URL will be vibrating (undulating?) with happiness and satisfaction. And if not, the Wrath of Khan. Will Carey Mulligan make the SAG cut for Best Actress? What will be the biggest potential shockers due to this or that presumptive nominee getting the shaft from either org?

As much as I regard David Erlich as an appalling personality on Twitter, I have to respect his year-end compilation video, most of which is about Erlich clipping his top 25 of 2015. Included are The Hateful Eight (appealing for 2/3 of its length until the self-destructive third act), the dolorous Phoenix (which I finally saw last night on Bluray), the obviously substandard Magic Mike 2 and the indulgent, all-but-unwatchable James White. The Erlich favorites that I agree with are boldfaced: Carol, World of Tomorrow, Phoenix, The Look of Silence, A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence, The Duke of Burgundy, Eden (2014), Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter, Mistress America, Mad Max: Fury Road, Clouds of Sils Maria, Magic Mike XXL, Tokyo Tribe, Anomalisa, Listen to Me Marlon, Black Coal, Thin Ice, Heaven Knows What, The Hateful Eight, The Mend, James White, The Forbidden Room, Junun, Mustang, Tangerine, Girlhood.

A word of tribute to the late, legendary Holly Woodlawn — transgender trailblazer, downtown Warholian personality in the ’60s and early ’70s, immmortalized by a stanza in Lou Reed‘s “Walk on The Wild Side,” costar of Paul Morrissey‘s Trash and Women in Revolt. Woodlawn, 69, passed yesterday in Los Angeles from brain and liver cancer. Things were tough for her in recent years. I’m very sorry. I spoke to Woodlawn on the phone a decade ago about an interview, but it never happened. Her Wiki page asserts that in 1970 George Cukor “petitioned the Academy to nominate Woodlawn for Best Actress for her work in Trash; however, nothing came of this campaign.” I can’t find a clip I once saw in which Woodlawn delivered a perfect imitation of Kim Novak calling for her Siamese cat Piewacket in Bell, Book and Candle (“Pie! Pie!”). That was her, right?

Here are the format options for press screenings of Star Wars: The Force Awakens on Tuesday, 12.15. Notice that Disney isn’t offering a 3D option in the evening (i.e., for people with any taste, or who can’t get away in the daytime). The bloom is off 3D and then some. It’s not something that discerning movie hounds would want to choose. Unless, you know, the 3D film in question is something truly exceptional like Baltasar Kormakur‘s Everest or Jean-Luc Godard‘s Goodbye to Language or Werner Herzog‘s Cave of Forgotten Dreams. Or if it’s a question of seeing the climactic wire-walking sequence in The Walk in 3D (essential) vs. 2D (less so).

After the 11.28 Joy screening on the Fox Lot I posted some generally admiring tweets. Good as it is Joy is a little something of a mixed bag, and so I was struggling with my responses. It works but in a scattered, neurotic, off-and-on way. In my head I was giving it a grade of around 84 or 85, which is a B. Good, tasty, sharp, focused and very David O. Russell-y, but not on the level of Silver Linings Playbook and The Fighter. Then I saw it again and it didn’t play quite as well, and so I downgraded it to about a 77 or 78. Joy is nonethless a very well made, grade-A film that works in fits and starts, and Jennifer Lawrence‘s performance is unquestionably strong and redeeming…so that’s where it is for me. It’s a thumbs-upper but not way up. Which I why I was shocked by Joy‘s aggregate ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic — 53% and 63% respectively. That’s an average of about 58%, and by a high-school grading system that’s a serious flunk. Joy is too expertly made to rate that. It absolutely deserves a general pass. And don’t forget that Robbie Collin Telegraph rave.