Identify This Line

What film, which character said it, who played this character, what was the context, and who wrote the script?

If you don’t answer all five, you’re disqualified.

“Whatever piece of ass you get in this world you’re gonna have to pay for, one way or the other.”

Existential Traffic Agony

That feeling of hopelessness and bottomless malaise that pours into the souls of trapped highway drivers on a daily basis in the major urban corridors…all I can say is that the gloomy authors and philosophers of yesteryear never knew this kind of anguish…they never knew they had it so good.

Industrial asphalt downerism became an American “thing” in the 1950s, when Dwight D. Eisenhower‘s vast interstate highway system began construction.

One of the first cinematic depictions of this stifling nationwide depression happens in the first minutes of Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (‘62), a mostly middling family comedy with James Stewart and Maureen O’Hara in the leads. Stewart, playing a banker, is trapped in his sedan during a highway commute, and a truck just ahead belches out a cloud of brown exhaust.

But it wasn’t the exhaust and smog that so weighed on drivers. It was the sheer number, the tens of thousands of other commuters.

Late to “Highest 2 Lowest”

It would have been so much easier and simpler to have seen Spike Lee’s Highest 2 Lowest three months ago in Cannes, but easy-access press screenings were’t scheduled. Lee wanted the media bounce of a gala black-tie screening but cared not for persons like myself having a looksee, obviously calculating that reviews would be mixed.

I finally saw Highest 2 Lowest last night, and guess what? It’s mildly fine — a smoothly engaging, well-jiggered kidnapping drama for the whole family — a total popcorn movie that’s more or less about celebrating the color and vibrancy and musicality of New York City’s black and brown culture…a Spike joint that, for me at least, never bored or dragged (even during the first plot-light, character-driven hour).

Swanky Brooklyn pad, a high-profile son-snatching, a $17.5 million ransom in Swiss currency, a nifty second-act chase sequence, etc. Whatever, bruh…enjoy the ride.

This is basically a movie about wealth and happiness. Spike is flush, Denzel is bucks-up, NYC looks beautiful. It’s all good. (Did I feel left out because of my own lean portfolio? Yeah, kinda, but I got over that.)

Tightly assembled and visually punched-up (dare I say “balls-up”?), H2L is well-charged fun…panache, pizazz, an emphatically flush vibe (i.e., it’s kinda wealth-porny).

It boasts several fine, filled-out performances by several commanding, good-looking actors (Denzel Washington, ASAP Rocky, Jeffrey Wright, Ilfenesh Hadera), plus ample servings of luminous Matty Libatique images. And it begins with a Rodgers & Hammerstein cityscape montage that’s pure emotional pleasure.

It goes down easy, man — schmaltzy, emotionally heightened and made to charm and entertain the popcorn-munching serfs (including schmoes like yours truly).

Akira Kurosawa’s noirish High and Low (‘63) struck everyone as a grim, hard-nosed, visually unengaging downer — Spike’s remake is pretty much a tonal opposite.

Forget This Flawed IndieWire List

Any “100 best films of the70slist that doesn’t include Terrence Malick’s Badlands, John Flynn’s The Outfit, Mike HodgesGet Carter, Peter Bogdanovich’s The Last Picture Show, Michael Ritchie’s Downhill Racer and The Candidate, John Boorman’s Deliverance, Sam Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs, Mel BrooksBlazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, Hal Ashby’s Being There and Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye…any such list that ignores these 12 films invites my disrespect.

Plus there’s no way Chantal Akerman’s Jeanne Dielman ranks higher than the two Godfather films…get outta town! The IndieWire list was clearly assembled with a diversity mindset…too many diversity picks elbowing aside way too many first-rate’70s films.

(Thanks to Joe Dante for doing most of the heavy lifting.)

Remember Hetero Hotties?

Strange as it may sound to some (Stalinist wokeys in particular), but in the old days actresses were not only given opportunity but valued and rewarded not just for their talent but also their looks. Audiences have always loved the company of dishy-looking performers. Or at least they used to.

Irrefutable Evidence

Cecil B. DeMille’s mostly bald head was at least 50% larger than Billy Wilder’s nearly-as-bald cranium. Look at the difference! They’re standing right next to each other! DeMille could almost be a Kanamit from Rod Serling To Serve Man”.

Since I Couldn’t See Spike’s Film Today

…due to job demands, here’s a reaction from HE’s own “bentrane”:

“I know you’re not a fan of High and Low, which I think is easily one of Akira Kurosawa‘s best films. That said, Spike Lee’s version has some pluses, but overall, it’s just okay. 

“Although I was never bored, it’s too long, and it takes too much time to get to the main story.

“It also lacks the moral clarity of the original. In this version Denzel seems to put up the kidnap money for his chauffeur’s son not because he thinks it’s the right thing to do, but more because he’s afraid of what social media will say about him if he doesn’t ante up.

“The film also doesn’t know when to end. Like the original, Highest2Lowest has a scene in which Denzel meets the kidnapper in jail, and their respective social standings and issues come to the fore. That was the end of High and Low, and it was a powerful one.

“But instead of ending it there, Spike had to add a totally unnecessary audition sequence in his apartment, which adds nothing to the film.

Pluses: the cinematography; the soundtrack; the subway sequence; the very New York feel; the acting. But they’re not enough to overcome a bloated running time and a messy script.

“I’m giving it 2 1/2 stars out of four.

“And the wonderful State Farm joke, which had the audience roaring with laughter, won’t be understood  by anyone outside the U.S.”

Lens Splatter Confidential

An 8.12 Variety story by Jazz Tangcay reported that Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan (‘98) was the first battle film to use an accidental shot with small globs of splattered blood on the camera lens in the finished film.

I’m not disputing this claim, but I’ve watched Ryan at least four or five times (twice theatrically, two or three times on Bluray) and I don’t remember any such globs or blood splatters sticking to the lens.

The first time I noticed this kind of unintended effect was in Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men (‘06).

At first I figured I had forgotten the Saving Private Ryan lens splatter, but I went searching for either a YouTube clip or a frame capture of same, and found nothing…zip.

Does anyone recall such a moment in Spielberg’s film, and if so can the splatter effect be specifically described? And have they seen a video clip or frame capture that proves it actually happened?