Like it or not, Zack Snyder‘s Batman vs. Superman (Warner Bros., 7.15) will star Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Henry Cavill as Superman. But lost in the Batfleck hubbub is a question of basic plot dynamics. The title indicates the superheroes at cross purposes, but what kind of misunderstanding could result in these Dudley Do-Rights going up against each other? (The Superman-Batman comic book series, launched in ’03, “explored the camaraderie, antagonism, and friendship between its titular characters,” says one description.) And what kind of mano e mano tension can result from a mortal crimefighter duking it out with an extra-terrestrial with super-powers? One presumes that David S. Goyer‘s script will divest Superman of his spectacularness.
One further presumes that since the last 80 minutes of Goyer’s Man of Steel script was a torrent of slam-bang CG destruction porn, Superman vs. Batman will have no choice but to deliver at least a 90-minute action finale…right? Each new bullshit big-studio superhero flick has to deliver more that the previous one, right? How long was the big Avengers finale again? 45 minutes? I’ve blotted it out of my mind.
I can’t believe I’m actually pondering this crap on a Saturday morning. This is what ComicCon culture has given us…geek-male fantasies igniting corporate zombie greed. I’m a person of at least some depth and my mind is usually alert and crackling, and here I am wondering about the shape and attitude of the next permutation of corporate jizz-whizz. When the Will and Ariel Durant of the 21st Century write their history of the decline and fall of 21st Century mainstream movies, I hope they tell the truth about the plague of the fanboys.