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I got started late today because of a spotty sleeping night. And I’m accompanying Tatyana to the dreaded Cole Avenue DMV (God, I hate that place) at 1:30 pm so she can take her written driving test. I have an hour left before we leave so my usual quota of stories (five or six) will be on the short side, I’m afraid, although I’ll probably jump into things later this afternoon.

I awoke at 5:15 am (I so love that feeling of pre-dawn solace and serenity) but crashed again at 7:30 am. I could have started workthat getting required sleep is more important than doing the work, so it’s partly her fault.

From “Will Dormer vs. Fitful Sleep,” posted on 1.3.18: “For decades my sleep pattern was to get about six hours, midnight or 1 am to 6 or 7 am. Over the last couple of years I’ve taken a one-hour nap around 2 or 3 pm on the couch. But every now and then (i.e., usually when I’m really stressed about something) I’ll become a fitful sleeper, and that means a 3 or 3:30 or 4 am wake-up, which always results in (a) moving to the living room couch for a 90-to-120-minute Twitter session. (b) finally returning to sleep around 6 or 6:30 am, and (c) waking again at 9 or even 9:30 or 10 am.

In short, I go through periods in which I am almost Al Pacino in Insomnia. But not quite.

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I’m sorry but this is a really superb, beautifully written third-act scene. Not to mention the acting. Jig’s up, end of my rope, gas tank empty, I’m done but thanks anyway. Perfect in every way.

Last night I caught a screening of Baltasar Kormakur‘s Adrift, a not-great, not-bad, survival-at-sea drama that’s based on an actual early ’80s saga, and more particularly “Red Sky at Mourning: A True Story of Love, Loss, and Survival at Sea” by Tami Oldham Ashcraft and Susea McGearhart. It’s not a time-waster or a throwaway, but I didn’t respect it in the end. And neither will you.

You can tell right away that Adrift wants to deliver coo-coo romantic vibes for its target audience (i.e., younger women, couples). Loving currents first and surviving nature’s wrath second. The sailor-lovers are played by Shailene Woodley (as Oldham) and the good-looking Sam Claflin (as her bearded boyfriend and sailing partner Richard Sharp). The filmmakers wanted to milk the bejeesus out of that togetherness, that “I love you more than life itself” stuff. And that they did.

This strategic determination, crafted by screenwriters Aaron Kandell, Jordan Kandell and David Branson Smith and obviously agreed to by Kormakur, results in a significant third-act revelation or confession that reveals their lying, cheating hearts.

Adrift creators to audience: “We wanted to give you a film about a young, loving, struggling-to-survive couple, and we did that for the most part so too effing bad if we flim-flammed you. Get over it. Life is full of fake-outs and people dealing from the bottom of the deck. We didn’t do anything that bad. Have some more popcorn.”

At the very least Adrift reminds you how much better All Is Lost was, is and always will be. All hail J.C. Chandor and Robert Redford for delivering a stone classic of this realm. Anyone who sees All Is Lost and goes “yeah, not bad, decent” needs to get his/her pipes cleaned. It’s made of landmark, classic, world-class stuff, and is most definitely a metaphor for the struggle and the loneliness and sometimes the feelings of futility that comes with late-period aging (which I got from the experience of my parents when they hit their 80s).

If you ask me this is a classic New York City tabloid headline, right up there with STACKO! [after the jump], BRIDE OF JACKOSTEIN (a 1996 N.Y. Daily News headline), HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR, SAM SLEEPS, etc. Kim Thong Un!

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Sanders to young journalist: “As a kid, and certainly as a parent, there is nothing that could be more terrifying for a kid to go to school and not feel safe. So I’m sorry that you feel that way. But I’ll be honest with you. This administration hasn’t the slightest interest in doing anything to make schools safer from random shooters. Not a damn thing except for helping schools to arm teachers. Arming and training teachers to shoot straight and true. That’s all we’re interested in doing. We’re not interested in restricting access to firearms, period. If some of your classmates get shot up, God forbid, all you’re going to get from us is ‘thoughts and prayers.'”

Listen to this clip and, without Googling, tell me the name of the film, the director and the name of the guy speaking. Again, the mp3.

Topliners: 1. Damien Chazelle‘s First Man, a space drama about NASA’s Duke of Dullness, Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling, Claire Foy, Corey Stoll, Kyle Chandler, Jason Clarke); 2. Alfonso Cuaron‘s Roma (Marina de Tavira, Marco Graf, Yalitza Aparicio, Daniela Demesa, Enoc Leaño, Daniel Valtierra); 3. Adam McKay‘s Backseat (w. Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Steve Carell, Sam Rockwell); 4. Terrence Malick‘s Radegund (August Diehl, Valerie Pachner, Michael Nyqvist, Matthias Schoenaerts, Jürgen Prochnow, Bruno Ganz); 5. Bjorn Runge‘s The Wife (Glenn Close‘s Best Actress campaign + Jonathan Pryce, Christian Slater, Annie Starke. Max Irons).

6. Bradley Cooper‘s A Star Is Born, w/ Cooper, Lady Gaga, Sam Elliott, Andrew Dice Clay, and Dave Chappelle. 7. Felix von Groeningen‘s Beautiful Boy with Steve Carell and Timothy Chalamet; 8. Felicity Jones as Ruth Bader Ginsburg in On The Basis of Sex; 9. Saoirse Ronan in Mary, Queen of Scots (w/ Margot Robbie, David Tennant, Jack Lowden, Guy Pearce); 10. David Lowery‘s The Old Man and the Gun w/ Robert Redford, Casey Affleck, Sissy Spacek, Danny Glover, Tika Sumpter, Tom Waits, Elisabeth Moss.

11. Steve McQueen‘s Widows (Viola Davis, Cynthia Erivo, Andre Holland, Elizabeth Debicki, Michelle Rodriguez, Daniel Kaluuya, Liam Neeson, Colin Farrell); 12. Barry Jenkins‘ If Beale Street Could Talk (Kiki Layne, Stephan James, Teyonah Parris, Regina King, Colman Domingo, Brian Tyree Henry, Diego Luna, Dave Franco); 13. Bryan Singer‘s Bohemian Rhapsody (15-year period from the formation of Queen and lead singer Freddie Mercury up to their performance at Live Aid in 1985) w/ Rami Malek, Ben Hardy, Gwilym Lee, Joseph Mazzello, Allen Leech, Lucy Boynton. (20th Century Fox, 12.25.18); 14. Luca Guadagnino‘s Suspiria (Dakota Johnson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Tilda Swinton, Mia Goth); 15. Xavier Dolan‘s The Death and Life of John F. Donovan (Kit Harington, Natalie Portman, Jessica Chastain, Susan Sarandon, Kathy Bates).

16. Spike Lee‘s Black Klansman (John David Washington, Adam Driver, Laura Harrier, Topher Grace, Corey Hawkins — Focus Features); 17. Stefanio Solluima‘s Soldado (Benicio del Toro, Josh Brolin, Catherine Keener (Columbia, 6.29.18); 18. Asghar Farhadi‘s Todos lo saben (Spanish-language drama w/ Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Barbara Lennie, Ricardo Darin, Inma Cuesta, Eduard Fernandez Javier Camara); 19. James Gray‘s Ad Astra, w/ Brad Pitt, Tommy Lee Jones, Ruth Negga, Donald Sutherland, Jamie Kennedy; 20. Benh Zeitlin‘s Wendy (was filming in March ’17, should be released by late ’18).

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I wasn’t invited to last night’s elite-journo screening of Ocean’s 8 but I’ll survive. It doesn’t sound like my kind of heist film. Seemingly as much about fashion as larceny. “Typical clever heist stuff,” a friend remarks. “Very entertaining.” I’m sorry but Anne Hathaway speaking the phrase “we got the giggles so hard” fills me with cold-blooded dread. The giggles. The giggles. Lordy, the giggles.

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In Donald Trump‘s apparent view, Roseanne Barr has been dealt with severely not just because she tweeted a racist comment about Valerie Jarrett but because, in the opinion of Disney/ABC management, she’s on the wrong side of the political divide. If Bob Iger and Channing Dungey were truly even-steven and fair-minded, he seems to imply, they would give Roseanne a pass the same way HBO gave Bill Maher a pass after he claimed that Trump was sired by an orangutan.

Actual Trump quote: “Gee, [Iger] never called President Donald J. Trump to apologize for the HORRIBLE statements made and said about me on ABC…maybe I just didn’t get the call?” One presumes that the term “HORRIBLE statements” refers to reporting that Trump has taken issue with.

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Chris McQuarrie‘s Mission: Impossible — Fallout (Paramount, 7.27) was research-screened last night in Las Vegas. A movie hound loved it for the most part. His estimations of how long this or that scene lasts are to be taken with a grain of salt as he probably wasn’t using a stop-watch.

“The action is incredible,” he enthused. “The car/motorcycle chase through Paris lasts a good 20-plus minutes. The fight in the bathroom runs about 10 minutes. The helicopter chase at the end is a good 20 minutes. There are a lot of moving parts but it all moves so quickly and fluidly.

“There’s clearly a LOT of work yet to be done for a film that’s coming out in eight weeks. I’ll be excited to see it again. The music wasn’t finished so a majority of the fight scenes or chases weren’t scored — nothing but the sounds of roaring, screeching cars, and that was so amazing. I hope they keep it like that.

“And the cast — Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson, Henry Cavill, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Michelle Monaghan, Alec Baldwin, Sean Harris, Wes Bentley, Angela Bassett — is so perfect. Even if I had some qualms about where certain characters’ allegiance truly lies at the end, it really doesn’t matter a whole lot.

“I’d 100% see it in a theater if I were you. It’s gorgeous. It’s loud. It’s fun.

“Vanessa Kirby is only in a few scenes, but she was the standout for me. The woman just oozes sexuality.

“Tell your friends Chris McQuarrie and J.J. Abrams to trust the audience a little more and rely less on five-minute-long dialogue scenes of exposition that explain every part of every plan. Then again better to make things crystal clear than to obscure the narrative, I suppose.”

Response to Vegas guy assessment from back east: “This is very good news. Action movies have become so dumbed-down and compromised that you can’t help but appreciate the choice cinematic thrills of these Mission: Impossible movies.

“Tom Cruise — I don’t know how this guy does it. Edge of Tomorrow, Jack Reacher, American Made. He’s a great action star. I just wish he could pick more dramatic roles because he really is just a great actor.”

I posted this Moneyball clip a little more than eight months ago, but I’m still shattered by what we didn’t know back in 2011, which was that smart, adult, middle-class, award-calibre theatrical flicks about straight white guys would become politically unpopular within a few years time. Even award season has become a dicey launch pad since movies about SWGs have become more or less verboten. They’ve certainly lost their foothold.

And none of us realized seven years ago that Chris Pratt, who would become a big star three years later in 2014’s Guardians of the Galaxy, would never have as glorious a big-screen moment as this again.

This was Pratt’s peak — it never got any better for the guy in a God-smiling-down, spiritual-uplift sense. And nobody knew back then (and how could they?) that once Pratt became a quarter-of-an-inch-deep, big-money player in meaningless megaplex movies — i.e., the white Dwayne Johnson — that he’d be all but finished in terms of being cast in movies with scenes of this particular type — emotional guy-movie scenes that just reach out and get you. Do you feel this scene? Do you see the look on Jonah Hill‘s face as the ball sails into the right-field stands? Definitely something tingly going on.

Pratt is toast now — his attitude is too king-shit to do anything but make more Marvel flicks, dumb dinosaur movies and glitzy, worthless high-tech extravaganzas like Passengers and so on. He’ll never play a guy like Scott Hatteberg again.