The morning light in Santa Barbara was almost oppressively milky, hazy, foggy. Pretty close to bleachy. It was, in short, a Janusz Kaminski day, and I hated it. I’ll always hate it. I hated it before I was born. I am the Captain Ahab of milky-white-light haters. So generally to hell with Kaminski and his Lincoln lensing.

Driving up to Santa Barbara was kind of exciting, and then we hit State Street and took a little walk and had a yogurt. We changed into evening wear in the bathrooms of the Hotel Santa Barbara and drove up to the Bacara Resort, and it was cool being there with all the swells. The Silver Linings trio — Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, director-writer David O. Russell — did the red carpet, and then gave nice speeches during the ceremony. The guy with the most soul, humor and pizazz? Kirk Douglas, who tomorrow celebrates his 96th birthday.

Grace Hightower, Robert DeNiro doing carpet at the SBIFF tribute at Goleta’s Bacara Resort — Saturday, 12.8, 7:55 pm.

Bradley Cooper.

Silver Linings Playbook director-writer David O. Russell.

Saturday, 12.8, 7:53 pm.

I have to buy some brick-colored lattice fencing at a nearby Home Depot and then get dressed and drive up to Santa Barbara around 2 or 2:30 pm for a Robert De Niro black-tie tribute event at Goleta’s Bacara Resort. De Niro is receiving the Santa Barbara Film Festival’s seventh annual Kirk Douglas Award for Excellence in Film. The event is a fundraiser for the Santa Barbara International Film Festival, which runs from 1.24 through 2.3.

All smart politicians have a nose for which way the wind is blowing, and every now and then an exceptional pol will summon the character to say, “That strategy that kinda worked for me and my interests five or ten years ago? It’s not working anymore. I’m getting myself a new game.” I also suspect that part of the reason Charlie Crist is now a Democrat can be found in Kirby Dick‘s Outrage. Just saying. Good for Charlie & hail fellow well met.

Wells to Glenn Kenny (and everyone else putting me down because of last night’s riff suggesting that disdain of Silver Linings Playbook is at least partly a beefalo/lonely guy thing): I didn’t say if you don’t vote for Silver Linings Playbook you can’t get laid because you look and smell like Uriah Heep. I suggested based on honest, real-deal observation that this issue might be in play — I called it a “working theory” — if you blank SLP in terms of best of the year (i.e., not even putting it among the top ten, which is absolutely dead-to-rights ridiculous). BOFCA fucking blanked it so yes, I honestly and sincerely believe that a percentage of this org, no offense, might have a problem along these lines.

I honestly & truly believe (based on observation) that dweebs and beefalos have an issue with SLP because this is a film about extraordinarily fortunate romantic fate dropping into your lap (i.e., not some hotsy-totsy whoopsy-doopsy fuck fantasy but luckily meeting & connecting with a woman who’s upfront, loyal, vulnerable, tells the flat fucking truth and gives you the bone right through a diner window when the occasion calls for it) and life has sadly taught these Boston-residing dweebs and beefalos not to believe in that kind of luck, and indeed to disparage it. The notion of extraordinary romantic fate is a terrible, oppressive thing to carry around in their heads because it taunts them (“Sorry but this will almost certainly not happen to you, Mr. Heep”) and makes them even more quietly resigned to a life of dreaming about what probably won’t happen than they were to begin with.

The Boston Online Film Critics Association has gone for Zero Dark Thirty for Best Picture and Kathryn Bigelow for Best Director, Lincoln‘s Daniel Day Lewis for Best Actor, ZDT‘s Jessica Chastain for Best Actress, Lincoln‘s Tommy Lee Jones for Best Supporting Actor and Les Miserables‘ Anne Hathaway for Best Supporting Actress. Remaining winners can be found on the BOFCA site.

Zero Silver Linings recognition indicates (emphasis in the “i” word) that the BOFCA membership is dweeb-heavy — i.e., lonely/homely guys (including a certain percentage of beefalos) who haven’t been especially lucky or fortunate in affairs of the heart. God has favored them with brains, diligence and writing ability, but he hasn’t smiled on their sex lives. Slipshod as this may sound, this is HE’s working theory about the matter. Put another way, I have come to strongly suspect over the past several weeks that if SLP has a problem with any particular group, it’s with these guys.

A large Silver Linings Playbook dinner party happened last night (Friday, 11.7) at West Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, and a very cool group showed up — David O. Russell, Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, Jane Fonda, Richard Perry, a seriously slimmed down Val Kilmer, Diane Keaton, Phillip Noyce, Mel Gibson, Josh Brolin, Diane Lane, Melissa Leo, Nic Jarecki, Ava Duvernay, Penny Marshall, et. al. And for all of it, I didn’t get a decent shot of Russell and none of Cooper or De Niro.

Diane Keaton’s left footwear — Friday, 11.7, 8:20 pm.

Josh Brolin, Graemm McGavin.

Richard Perry, Jane Fonda.

Val Kilmer, Nic Jarecki.

Mel Gibson

(l. to r.) Graemm McGavin, Vuyo Dyasi Noycem, Phillip Noyce.

Melissa Leo

I’m not going to defend Bret Easton Ellis for stupidly tweeting that Zero Dark Thirty/Hurt Locker helmer Kathryn Bigelow is “overrated” because she’s “hot,” nor am I condoning his view that “if The Hurt Locker had been directed by a man it would not have won the Oscar for best director.” He said a dumb thing that made him sound like a sexist pig. (Which he may in fact be.) But boil his words down and sand down the edges and all he’s really saying is that the attractive or unattractive appearance of a would-be Oscar winner can be a factor in whether or not people vote for him/her.

Bigelow is a gifted, tenacious, sharp-eyed director who knows exactly what she’s doing, and The Hurt Locker has always been and always will be a superbly made film no matter how good-looking she is. But imagine, say, if the highly refined, affable, Britishy and very pleasant-looking Tom Hooper had been a moderately obese Samoan who was 5 ‘ 7″ tall and wore tribal skirts and sandals and spoke in heavily accented English. Would he have won the Best Director Oscar for The King’s Speech? Perhaps not. You can’t say for sure that his Samoan skirts wouldn’t have rubbed at least some voters the wrong way.

I just don’t think you can separate your personal presentation from your work and say to your colleagues, “Look, you guys — forget whether I’m well-groomed or stylishly dressed or overweight or if I look like the Elephant Man or Charles Laughton or Paul McCartney, okay? Because my looks don’t matter, only my work does.” People will smile and say “fine, agreed” but you’ll always be judged to some extent by how attractive you seem to them.

There’s also the observation that Gold Derby‘s Tom O’Neil has passed about Academy geezers tending to vote for hot female Oscar contenders. This applies to actresses for the most part (if I understand O’Neil’s observation), but it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch if the same voting tendency worked to Bigelow’s advantage two years ago.

I guess it’s true about Les Miserables not being a critic’s film — it currently has a 63% Rotten Tomatoes grade, which means it’s flunking. (Anything below 80% means trouble, but below 70% means get out the life jackets.) But the real bellwether is the fact that MCN’s David Poland, who seems to have a special place in his heart for musicals as he has befriended more than a few of them, has panned Les Miz rather harshly.

“I am not a moron,” Poland states. “I can deal with building the factual reality in my head when the style of the film decides against being literal. But that is what is so much the failure of Les Miserables…it wants it both ways. It wants to be profoundly intimate, suffering in extreme close-up, the singing-on-the-set choice (the endless hype about which has turned it from ‘choice’ to ‘stunt’), and shooting almost completely in singles and tight doubles. Edit. Edit. Edit.

“But the material is huge and epic and melodramatic. So the effect of Tom Hooper’s direction is like looking at Mount Everest through the wrong side of the binoculars.”

Abbie Cornish is about to finish work on Jose Padilha‘s Robocop, which has been filming in Toronto. (She’s playing Ellen Murphy, wife of Joel Kinnaman‘s Alex Murphy, the street cop who becomes a cyborg enforcer.) But two days ago she was
speaking from her L.A. home about her work in David Riker‘s The Girl, which attracted some heat at last April’s Tribeca Film Festival. I slightly know Cornish socially (we have a mutual friend) and so we had an
easy chat.

Abbie Cornish (r.), Maritza Santiago Hernandez in David Riker‘s The Girl.

Cornish’s performance as Ashley, a somewhat irresponsible San Antonio mom looking out for a young Mexican girl (Maritza Santiago Hernandez) whose mother has recently drowned, “is Cornish’s best part since Candy,” I wrote on 4.30. “She’s a solid actress trying to do the right career thing, and she’s definitely scored here.

“Ashley doesn’t act in a way that exactly elicits sympathy or identification,” I explained. “She’s always a beat or two behind the audience in figuring out her next move. She gradually wakes up and flies right, but a lot of stumbling happens along the way.

“Riker begins with Ashley losing her low-rent job at an Austin (or is it San Antonio?) super store due to pissing off her boss. Ashley is pretty and bilingual, but right away you’re noticing she’s not all that together. She’s trying to get her son back through the courts but is emotionally impulsive and undisciplined and seething about everything. Right away you’re saying ‘I don’t know if she’s going to make it through all the hoops.’

“And then along comes Ashley’s boozing, bewhiskered truck-driver dad (Will Patton) with an offer to join him at his Mexican home for a night of tequila and celebration. Ashley knows that she has to fly straight if she wants her son back, and that child services will be paying unexpected visits to her trailer home to check on her habits…and she drives down to ole Mexico to throw down some tequila with her grungy loser dad?

“Patton tells her the next day that he’s making good dough by smuggling illegal aliens across the border into the U.S.in his truck. This plants a seed. Ashley needs money badly, and eventually decides to bring four or five illegals across on her own. But she hasn’t thought things through and is rather stupidly presumptuous about the conditions of a river that the illegals will have to cross, and tragedy strikes a mother in the group, leaving her young daughter (Maritza Santiago Hernandez) alone and destitute.

“The movie kicks in when Ashley realizes that she’s responsible for this tragedy, and that she’s obliged to help this little girl in some way.

“We realize, of course, that this is the point of the film — for Ashley to woman up and get past her resentments and weaknesses by helping this little girl. And of course, it’s the young girl who ends up helping her. It takes a while but Ashley eventually sets things right, and is presumably in a better frame of mind as far as getting her son back and being a good mom, etc. And Riker lets her off the hook by having the young girl’s grandmother tell Ashley that the river killed the mom, and that it wasn’t Ashley’s fault. But it was, obviously, to a large extent.

“All in all The Girl is a nicely subdued humanistic tale, but I can’t honestly say that I felt all that much support for Ashley, although Cornish does a fine job of portraying her as far as she goes, warts and all. Hernandez registers as the more forceful and clear-headed of the two, truth be told.”

My compassionate ex-boss Kevin Smith tweeted this morning that he’ll be retiring from theatrical filmmaking after he directs Hit Somebody, a hockey flick reportedly spanning 30 years, and Clerks III. Smith is one of those guys who clearly has (and is constantly reformulating) the whole cultural equation in his head — just listen to him riff during one of his talking-tour appearances — but has never quite made a film that delivers on his full potential.

Kevin has always waved me off when I’ve told him what I think he should do, but this is what I wrote this morning after I read the news.

“Who retires at 42, Kevin? You started out as a filmmaker 18 years ago with Clerks, and just because distribution systems are oppressive and weighted against your kind of material…I know it’s unpleasant and a grind, but you can’t not work in films, man. Not as a hard and fast prohibition, I mean. That’s like an ambitious writer saying he’s decided not to write any more books. Even if you’re totally convinced that you don’t want to work in films, never say never. To anything. You should at least try some theatre.

“I don’t care (and you shouldn’t either) how unhappy or unfulfilled filmmaking has made you. Like it or not, you’e here on the planet to do what you can do to brighten or make rich or at least decorate the world as best you can, and I don’t see how that effort doesn’t include at least the occasional film when the material and the time seem right. You don’t have a choice. You have to carry the weight. You’re 42, man, which is when the juices start to really uncork for most writers.

“I presume you’re going to focus on TV and online efforts plus the usual speaking tours, but I wrote years ago that you have a major work in you — a Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolff for the slacker generation. I still believe this. Maybe on the stage and maybe as a theatrical film or maybe as an online or VOD thing. I’m thinking of some kind of balls-out, drag-out husband-and-wife-and-their-friends whiplash-dialogue thing with few if any laughs, and lasting two or three hours. You’ve been married long enough to write it — you know all about this shit. You have to write & direct this, Kevin. You could be a funnier Neil Labute.”