I don’t see how the Screen Gems marketing team could possibly go wrong in pushing Rod Lurie‘s Straw Dogs (9.16) by using the same basic design of the old 1971 Sam Peckinpah-Dustin Hoffman one-sheet. Because it’s still one of the most psychologically unnerving and suggestively violent images every delivered by a movie poster. I would just ignore that 2009 Tyler Perry one-sheet and go for it.

The seeing-is-believing factor is so completely null and void and out-the-window in the CG behemoth Transformers realm that when flying stunts are performed for real it means absolutely nothing to Joe Popcorn. As far as most of us are concerned everyone and everything is digitally reconstituted. The guys who did the actual wing-flying are probably dismayed to hear this, but this is the world we’ve created.

Even my own physical-biological self, the entity known as Jeffrey Wells that I’ve been inhabiting all these decades, primarily exists as a digital reconstitution. In the eyes of most of those who know me, I mean. I obviously exist as a physical being, but who cares or notices outside of my two sons and friends and professional acquaintances and the publicists I deal with? And my two cats?

It’s a fact that I’ve been gradually ceasing to “exist” in a biological form over the last decade or so, and have increasingly manifested as a digital presence or smart-mouth energy field or what-have-you on a drop-by-drop, month-by-month basis. It’s a little bit like Jeff Goldblum‘s transformation in David Cronenberg‘s The Fly — i.e., “Brundlefly.”

I’ve been an online columnist for 13 years now, and I’ve been punching out a continuous stream of items and stories in a bloggy-blog format since April ’06. And I swear to God I myself don’t even feel as if I’m completely in touch with whatever my essence is (or might actually amount to) unless I’m online. I can’t quite feel it (whatever “it” is) when I’m just walking down a street or standing on the beach or talking to Stu Van Airsdale at a bar or whatever. Not like I used to feel it when I was ten years old, or when I was in my early 20s and high half the time.

Every waking moment I’m not online, I’m thinking to myself, “Well, it won’t be long.”

Update: Apparently it wasn’t a symmetrical no-brainer for Paramount/Amblin/Bad Robot to hire Drew Struzan, the illustrator who did all those hand-painted posters for the big Lucas-Spielberg-Zemeckis flicks of the late ’70s and ’80s (Star Wars, E.T., Indiana Jones series, Back to the Future), to create a retro Super 8 poster. Because it’s a fan poster. Not by Struzan. Fake.

I’ll be attending the big Super 8 premiere screening and after-party tonight in Westwood. Abstract impressionism, photos, videos, JJ Abrams-isms, etc. Perhaps a photo of Drew McWeeny?

The September release of the 50th anniversary Ben-Hur Bluray will, of course, arrive almost 52 years after William Wyler‘s film opened on 11.18.59. So the marketing exec who decided to call it a “50th anniversary” release was tripping on something. His own ass-fumes?

The 212-minute-long Oscar-winner, restored from the original 65mm negative and remastered in 1080p, will be contained on two discs along with (a) a commentary track recorded by film historian T. Gene Hatcher and star Charlton Heston, and (b) a music-only track containing Miklos Rozsa‘s award-winning score. Plus a feature-length “making of” documentary including never-before-available images and footage from the Heston family archive, and the 1925 silent Ben-Hur with Ramon Navarro and Francis X. Bushman.

Who likes to slosh around in the surf with a thoughtful, pensive look on her face, and then picks up people who happen to be walking by and puts them into her raincoat pocket. Is the ghost mermaid here to resuscitate a buried Wold War II memory? Something to do with a kid who hid in the basement to avoid being carted away to a Nazi concentration camp? Okay, but what’s this to do with a giant phantom who looks like Kristin Scott Thomas?

Larry Karaszewski and Peter Fonda need to understand that I’ll be attending this Aero double bill of The Hired Hand and The Limey on Friday, June 10th, and politely requesting an explanation from Fonda about his Cannes Film Festival statement, quoted in the Telegraph, that he’s “training [his] grandchildren to use long-range rifles….for what purpose? Well, I’m not going to say the words ‘Barack Obama’ but …”

Seven days ago Blake Lively was a fetching actress I was half-aware of in the periphery of my vision but whom I was never, to be honest, hugely interested in. I’d never seen a single episode of Gossip Girl, and I didn’t see The Private Lives of Pippa Lee because I didn’t care to.

Yes, she stood out in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and yes, she was reasonably persuasive as a barroom floozie in Ben Affleck‘s The Town. And her sassy, sad-eyed features have always had a kind of folksy, arresting quality that said “actress.” But inwardly she never quite projected that special something-or-other that, say, Elle Fanning has in spades. Not in my mind, at least.

But now she’s broken through. Now she’s big-screen. She has my attention and then some. My head will henceforth turn whenever I hear her name. I don’t care if the photos everyone has been passing around are fake or not (although I suspect they’re probably genuine). The point is that she’s now a movie star. She’s a marquee name. She’ll put arses in seats. Tell me I’m wrong.

Five or six days ago Sasha Stone posted a list of films she believes are the most likely contenders for 2011 Best Picture nominations. She began by listing the favorites posted by the mysterious “Peter” at Awards Corner. Sasha and I discussed this during yesterday’s Oscar Poker recording. So I’ve decided to post my own top ten.

HE’s Most Likely 2011 Best Picture Contenders (in this order): 1. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (d: Stephen Daldry, screenwriter: Eric Roth); 2. The War Horse (d: Steven Spielberg); 3. The Ides of March (d: George Clooney); 4. The Iron Lady (d: Phyllida Lloyd); 5. We Bought A Zoo (d: Cameron Crowe); 6. God of Carnage (d: Roman Polanski); 7. Young Adult (d: Jason Reitman, w: Diablo Cody); 8. The Descendants (d: Alexander Payne); 9. Moneyball (d: Bennett Miller); 10. J. Edgar (d: Clint Eastwood).

HE’s A-Little-Less-Likely Roster: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (d: David Fincher); Shame (d: Steve McQueen); The Tree of Life (d: Terrence Malick); Win Win (d: Tom McCarthy); Beginners (d: Mike Mills). The Impossible (d: Juan Antonio Bayona); Larry Crowne (d: Tom Hanks); Hugo Cabret (d: Martin Scorsese); On The Road (d: Walter Salles); Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (d: Thomas Alfredson); The Whistleblower (d: Larysa Kondracki); Wuthering Heights (d: Andrea Arnold); In the Land of Blood and Honey (d: Angelina Jolie).

Here’s Peter’s list with my after-comments:

1. David Fincher‘s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. HE comment: It’s a pop genre movie — a creepy thriller, a punk whodunit with shaved eyebrows. It’ll probably be great entertainment but it’s not Oscar material.

2. Terrence Malick‘s The Tree of Life. HE comment: Malick doesn’t make Oscar movies. Damnation by L.A. Times citic Kenneth Turan has probably sealed the deal — the over-50 Academy types will reject it. Parts of Tree are radiant, transcendent. It should make the cut, but it probably won’t.

3. Steven Spielberg‘s The War Horse. HE comment: If this film about a sad hard-luck horse turns out to be in the vein of Robert Bresson‘s Au Hasard Balthazar, a classic about a sad and saintly donkey, then no one will be a more committed supporter than I. But if War Horse turns out to be another cloying and shamelessly sentimental Spielberg film, then it must be stopped at all costs. That’s all I’m going to say.

Thomas Horn, Ton Hanks during filming of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

4. Clint Eastwood‘s J. Edgar. HE comment: Maybe. The script is a fairly dry thing, a little bit perverse. It may jbe quietly…who knows? But I have my doubts. I’m not feeling major heat.

5. Martin Scorsese‘s Hugo Cabret. HE comment: Never count on a Scorsese film operating outside of the northeast criminal goombah territory to achieve anything too exceptional — there are always problems when he ventures outside this realm. Then again this is a 3D film, etc.

6. Roman Polanski‘s Carnage. HE comment: Terrific play, sure-to-be-knockout performances, the direction of Roman Polanski. A very likely contender.

7. David Cronenberg‘s A Dangerous Method. HE comment: Forget it — Cronenberg doesn’t make Oscar films.

8. Woody Allen‘s Midnight in Paris. HE comment: A very charming, agreeable and popular film, but it won’t stand up to the fall/holiday competition.

9. Stephen Daldry‘s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. HE comment: Definitely.

10. Blah-dee-blah‘s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II. HE comment: Definitely.

11. Alexander Payne‘s The Descendants. HE comment: Definitely.

12. Phyllida Lloyd‘s The Iron Lady. HE comment: Probably, but Lloyd (Mamma Mia!) scares me.

13. Mike Mills‘ Beginners. HE comment: Good enough to be among the ten; may or may not make it.

Georeg Clooney in Alexander Payne’s The Descendants.

14. Blah-dee-blah‘s My Week with Marilyn. HE comment: Doubtful, from what I’ve been told. Possibly Michelle Williams‘ Marilyn Monroe performance for Best Actress, but Kenneth Branagh, I’m hearing, is truly exceptional as Laurence Olivier, and in fact steals the film.

15. Andrea Arnold‘s Wuthering Heights. HE comment: Maybe.

Sasha Stone’s Awards Daily projection:

1. War Horse; 2. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; 3. Midnight in Paris; 4. The Iron Lady; 5. J. Edgar; 6. The Descendants; 7. Harry Potter, etc.; 8. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo; 9. Super 8; and 10. The Artist.

Celluloid Junkie‘s Patrick von Sychowski tweeted a little while ago that he’s “seen [the] French thriller Point Blank at Hospital Club…pure adrenaline…I predict a Hollywood remake within 18 months.”

Magnolia Pictures acquired North American rights to Fred Cavaye‘s thriller, “billed as an action film in the vein of Tell No One,” last February. Gilles Lellouche stars “as a man racing against time through the streets of Paris to save his pregnant, kidnapped wife,” etc.

The Lawrence of Arabia Bluray doesn’t come out until next year so Sony Home Video can say “50th anniversary” on the packaging. So N.Y. Times critic A.O. Scott is getting the jump or doesn’t care about timing or…oh, I get it: the Arab spring parallel.

Okay, so Rep. Anthony Weiner was dumb enough to tweet the bulge photo. That’s what I can’t get over — the rank stupidity of it. When Mr. Happy steps into the room, intelligence flies out the window. Thank goodness, at least, we have Andrew Breitbart and the professional right-wing hypocrite machine to remind us that sexual indiscretion is mainly practiced by liberals.