Dust Bin

A 12.22 HuffPost piece has listed 20 things that have either disappeared or are on their last legs since 2000. Texting has overtaken phone calling but it will never disappear, but travel agents are all but gone, of course, and so are bookstores (fading), phone sex, maps, print classifieds, dial-up internet, encyclopedias, CDs, landline phones, film cameras, yellow pages, address books, printed catalogues and fax machines.

I for one am fine with the separation between work and personal hours have completely dissolved. Buy watches will always be cool in my book, and hand-written letters should never disappear.

Finally

Oh my God…a 2010 compilation montage that actually pays attention to what the year’s films were about — what they said, felt, emoted, conveyed, shared. And has some good visceral whizflashbang in the bargain. It took three tries before we made it, but thanks, Matt Zoller Seitz! [Update: I had to take the embed code down because the video automatically launches when the page is refreshed.]

Fromers

Okay, who’s the MGM Home Entertainment art director who ordered that the Eiffel Tower be pasted in the background? In so doing, he/she was presuming that some potential buyers may, despite the title, not fully understand which European city this renowned 1972 Bernardo Bertolucci film takes place in. So he/she used a felt-tip pen. The basic idea is to appeal to the schmuck tourists who go straight to Times Square when they hit Manhattan, and who loved When In Rome.

Faint Praise

Of the three 2010 montage reels that have appeared on YouTube this month, Kees van Dijkhuizen‘s is the best. During the early and concluding portions, that is. But most of it, like the other two, is still too whizflashbang. It has a bit more dialogue and seems to actually toy with the themes, emotions and characters that were the actual brick and mortar of 2010 films. But too much of it defaults to GenY eye-candy flashcrap. All hail Greenberg!

Here are the othe rtwo — Filmography 2010 and 2010 Cinescape.

Calculus

When I was launching this site five and a half years ago I was told that the dash between “Hollywood” and “Elsewhere” would be bad for traffic. It probably was in the early days, so in ’05 I asked the guy who ran www.hollywoodelsewhere.com, a deadbeat site if I ever saw one, if he wanted to sell. He said “okay, $10 grand.” I didn’t even reply. Early this month he got in touch again, saying he wants to give me the opportunity to purchase the domain “before we list it on sedo and other domain-selling sites.” I could be wrong, but I’m not convinced it’s even worth having.

Year's Worst Film?

There are three reasons why Little Fockers didn’t get an absolute zero rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and MSN critic (not to mention Hollywood Elsewhere’s own) Glenn Kenny is one of them. His curiously amiable non-condemning review plus two other passes resulted in this plastic poison IV comedy getting an 8%, which is fitting but not the historic blank-out I was hoping for.

“It must be said I did not find Little Fockers to be particularly excruciating,” Kenny wrote. “Indeed, I laughed pretty hard several times. My father-in-law, whom I brought to the screening as a kind of experiment, can testify to this. It eventually settles into an amiably funny groove that holds steady” for the most part. In fact, Kenny says, “It’s kind of cute.”

There’s no accounting for taste in humor. You can’t stop people from laughing at a film that reeks of creative lupus at every turn. You can’t instruct or berate someone into not liking a terrible movie. But if there was some sort of secret elite tribunal that considered and occasionally meted out punishment to critics for not just circulating deeply offensive reviews but for being dead fucking wrong, Kenny’s indictment would be a fait accompli.

"Hard, Isolate, Stoic"

“In some ways, much like Charles Laughton‘s Night of the Hunter, which the Coens quote both musically and visually, True Grit is a parable about good and evil,” writes N.Y. Times critic Manohla Dargis. “Only here, the lines between the two are so blurred as to be indistinguishable, making this a true picture of how the West was won, or — depending on your view — lost.”

Blurred indeed. As in “what’s going on here, if anything?” As I said in my original review, True Grit is “indisputably solid and grade-A as far as those attributes go, but it’s essentially a cold and mannered art western that matters not.”

Heart

Marshall Fine‘s interview with Biutiful director-cowriter Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, which he did, I suspect, at the same time I did my Inarritu chat in early November, has some truly sublime quotes:

(a) “I joke that 60 years ago, [Luis] Bunuel went to Mexico to shoot Los Olvidados and, 60 years later, this is my version, shot in Barcelona…I wanted to shoot in my own language[ and] it’s the first film I did in Europe, and the food is fantastic.”

(b) Biutiful‘s story “came from sitting in a doctor’s office [and] seeing another patient emerging after hearing obviously bad news. I thought about what it would be like going out knowing things were changed forever. So I asked the question: What if I knew I had 90 days to be on planet Earth? And that’s where everything departs from.

(c) “When someone says the film is bleak, I hate it. To me, bleakness is 20 or 30 lives being lost in a movie with lots of guns and explosions – and yet there’s not one life you care about. To me, that is bleakness. But this film is a celebration of how important one life is. I knew the consequences of making it. It was not accomplished easily to appeal to the taste of the Starbucks audience. I feel lighter, in a good way.”

(d) “Biutiful is about life, observed from an ending. If you put the camera at the end of the road and observe, it’s more profound. It’s not about death; it’s an homage to a life being lived.

(e) “I started shooting this the month of the financial collapse. This film is like wine that’s been aged for years. This is not a frappuccino, milk and honey and sugary for the audience. [But] just the release of Biutiful is a reason to celebrate…I would say that it is an act of resistance against the intoxicating culture we live under [and] the dictatorship of corporate thinking…at least it’s an attempt to survive.”

(f) “I would love, in a way, to find something that’s not mine, that would take me out of the burden of the personal journey, just to be a director for hire. I’d like to be a craftsman who’s putting together a table he didn’t design. But an apple tree produces apples. My process is very long and exhausting. I can’t escape from that.”

Drive Hard

Gone in Sixty Seconds + Grindhouse aesthetic + Nic Cage’s tax debt goading him to do almost anything + 3D whoopee cushion = popcorn flatulence.

"A Kind of Fanaticism"

I’ve always loved Renata Adler‘s 4.4.68 review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. She didn’t really get it and in fact puts it down, but she’d gotten parts of it, or several fragments, and she knew (or sensed) there was probably more where that came from. She was only 30 when she wrote her piece, and probably had more than a few space-cadet friends who were getting high and listening to Dylan and the Beatles, etc. And a voice was telling her, “You’d be smart not to pan this outright despite your gut feelings…go a little easy.”

I’d like to think that if I’d seen one of the most unusual and challenging films of the ’60s cold and had to write a review right away, I’d have been as observant as she. I’d like to think I would have been a little more perceptive, but that’s easy to say.

“Even the M-G-M lion is stylized and abstracted in Stanley Kubrick‘s 2001: A Space Odyssey, a film in which infinite care, intelligence, patience, imagination and Cinerama have been devoted to what looks like the apotheosis of the fantasy of a precocious, early nineteen-fifties city boy.

“The movie, on which Kubrick collaborated with the British science-fiction author Arthur C. Clarke, is nominally about the finding, in the year 2001, of a camera-shy sentient slab on the moon and an expedition to the planet Jupiter to find whatever sentient being the slab is beaming its communications at.

“There is evidence in the film of Clarke’s belief that men’s minds will ultimately develop to the point where they dissolve in a kind of world mind. There is a subplot in the old science-fiction nightmare of man at terminal odds with his computer. There is one ultimate science-fiction voyage of a man (Keir Dullea) through outer and inner space, through the phases of his own life in time thrown out of phase by some higher intelligence, to his death and rebirth in what looked like an intergalactic embryo.

“But all this is the weakest side of a very complicated, languid movie — in which almost a half-hour passes before the first man appears and the first word is spoken, and an entire hour goes by before the plot even begins to declare itself. Its real energy seem to derive from that bespectacled prodigy reading comic books around the block.

“The whole sensibility is intellectual fifties child: chess games, bodybuilding exercises, beds on the spacecraft that look like camp bunks, other beds that look like Egyptian mummies, Richard Strauss music, time games, Strauss waltzes, Howard Johnson’s, birthday phone calls. In their space uniforms, the voyagers look like Jiminy Crickets. When they want to be let out of the craft they say, ‘Pod bay doors open,’ as one might say ‘Bomb bay doors open’ in every movie out of World War II.

“When the voyagers go off to plot against HAL, the computer, it might be HAL, the camper, they are ganging up on. When HAL is expiring, he sings ‘Daisy.’ Even the problem posed when identical twin computers, previously infallible, disagree is the kind of sentence-that-says-of-itself-I-lie paradox, which — along with the song and the nightmare of ganging up — belong to another age. When the final slab, a combination Prime Mover slab and coffin lid, closes in, it begins to resemble a fifties candy bar.

“The movie is so completely absorbed in its own problems, its use of color and space, its fanatical devotion to science-fiction detail, that it is somewhere between hypnotic and immensely boring. (With intermission, it is three hours long.) Kubrick seems as occupied with the best use of the outer edge of the screen as any painter, and he is particularly fond of simultaneous rotations, revolving, and straight forward motions — the visual equivalent of rubbing the stomach and patting the head.

“All kinds of minor touches are perfectly done: there are carnivorous apes that look real; when they throw their first bone weapon into the air, Kubrick cuts to a spacecraft; the amiable HAL begins most of his sentences with ‘Well,’ and his answer to ‘How’s everything?’ is, naturally, ‘Everything’s under control.’

“There is also a kind of fanaticism about other kinds of authenticity: space travelers look as sickly and exhausted as travelers usually do; they are exposed in space stations to depressing canned music; the viewer is often made to feel that the screen is the window of a spacecraft, and as Kubrick introduces one piece of unfamiliar apparatus after another — a craft that looks, from one angle, like a plumber’s helper with a fist on the end of it, a pod that resembles a limbed washing machine — the viewer is always made aware of exactly how it is used and where he is in it.

“The special effects in the movie — particularly a voyage, either through Dullea’s eye or through the slab and over the surface of Jupiter-Earth and into a period bedroom — are the best I have ever seen; and the number of ways in which the movie conveys visual information (there is very little dialogue) drives it to an outer limit of the visual.

“And yet the uncompromising slowness of the movie makes it hard to sit through without talking — and people on all sides when I saw it were talking almost throughout the film. Very annoying. With all its attention to detail — a kind of reveling in its own I.Q. — the movie acknowledged no obligation to validate its conclusion for those, me for example, who are not science-fiction buffs.

“By the end, three unreconciled plot lines — the slabs, Dullea’s aging, the period bedroom — are simply left there like a Rorschach, with murky implications of theology. This is a long step outside the convention, some extra scripts seem required, and the all-purpose answer, ‘relativity,’ does not really serve unless it can be verbalized.

“The movie opened yesterday at the Capitol.”