Neither Kevin Smith‘s Cop Out nor The Crazies are going to make box-office history this weekend, but both will do nicely, reasonably, decently. Ditto Alice in Wonderland (3.5)…actually, this looks like a better-than-decent performer. The film that appears to be in trouble is Paul Greengrass‘s Green Zone, which opens on 3.12 and has only tepid definite interest numbers — 36 and 38 among younger and older males, and 21 and 29 among younger and older females.

Wells to 42West: “I’m determined to attend your Waldorf Astoria Greenberg junket despite the blizzardtopia outside, but I’m just checking to see if you guys are having second thoughts. Damn the torpedos?” 42West to Wells: “The junket is on!”

Which means I need to be at the Waldorf by 9:00 am or so. I have no rubber boots, but don’t get me wrong — I love a good blizzard. But all the material I was meaning to post yesterday afternoon (but didn’t due to that horrendous video upload problem) is delayed until early this afternoon.

In a Huffington Post-ed AP interview, Mo’Nique is asked about “a lot of talk about you not showing up early on to promote Precious because you were worried about money.” And she replies as follows:

“Well, when they say Mo’Nique was worried about money, I wasn’t worried about money. Mo’Nique has a talk show that comes on five nights a week and she tapes six times a week for that talk show. And yes, when I leave my home, I leave my home and get paid to leave my home, so I wasn’t worried about money. They simply said, ‘You know, well Mo’Nique we can’t pay you to do that.’ [And] we said, ‘OK, baby. Well, then, that’s not something we can do.’ Because, when I leave out, why ever would I go do something for free when I can go and do something and bring money back home to my family?”

I’ve been totally jammed on video upload issues. I’m getting instant error messages when I try to upload on both YouTube and Vimeo. The response from the online help staff, of course, has been less than instantaneous. It’s been pure throbbing hell for the last three hours or so, and nothing posted the whole time. Now I’m down to calling freelance whiz kids for assistance. Delightful.

During a 2.18 conversation with Oscar telecast co-producer Adam Shankman, Fresh Air‘s Terry Gross was informed that the original request for a host was Sasha Baron-Cohen, but this was shot down by the Academy elders. “Too much of a wild card,” Shankman explained.

Let me explain what the Hurt Locker-related, Nicolas Chartier wildcat e-mail non-story is all about…okay? A certain party saw a chance to somehow hurt The Hurt Locker‘s chances of taking the Best Picture Oscar, and thought that creating a little hoo-hah out of a relatively minor e-mail blunder might help in that regard.

In short it’s a typical “do whatever you can to take down or damage the front-runner” maneuver — no more than that. Except it’s a non-starter.

On 2.19 (i.e., last Friday), one solitary guy with politically clueless instincts sent out an e-mail to friends and colleagues in the Academy urging them to give their Best Picture vote to The Hurt Locker. His appeal basically invoked the old David-vs.-Goliath scenario — i.e,., The Hurt Locker is a little movie going up against the big swaggering Avatar, etc.

According to Pete Hammond‘s 2.23 column, Chartier wrote that “we need independent movies to win like the movies you and I do, so if you believe The Hurt Locker is the best movie of 2010, help us!

“I’m sure you know plenty of people you’ve worked with who are academy members whethere a publicist, a writer, a sound engineer, please take 5 minutes and contact them. Please call one or two persons, everything will help! — best regards, Nicolas Chartier, Voltage Pictures.”

“Whethere”? Sloppy run-on sentences? A comma instead of a period after “engineer”? Followed by a sentence beginning with the word “please” that requires “please” to be capitalized?

Chartier is a French-born foreign sales guy with, I’m told, one of those colorful personalities that foreign-sales guys are sometimes known to have. He didn’t know the rules of the Academy game when he sent the e-mail, and no doubt presumed he was doing a good thing for the Hurt Locker team when he sent the e-mail. And Clarence Thomas thought he was being seductive when he mentioned the sight of pubic hair on a Coca-Cola can.

To my knowledge the Academy hasn’t made it specifically clear to all the nominees that they have to observe certain rules and decorum, nor have they told Oscar-campaign publicists to point out these rules to their clients. Shouldn’t they have?

Last night The Wrap‘s Steve Pond reported that the Academy has “confirmed that the e-mail violated an AMPAS campaign guideline stating that ‘ads, mailings, websites or other forms of content’ that ‘cast…negative or disparaging light on a competing achievement are not permitted.'”

The thinking is that Chartier disparaged Avatar by referring to it as a very expensive Goliath-like movie. Which of course it isn’t. Where did Chartier dream that one up?

The bottom line is that Chartier committed a faux pas in terms of Oscar-campaigning do’s and don’ts. People are fallible and sometimes they screw up. But this wasn’t some sleazy whispering campaign against another contender. It wasn’t some poorly calculated trade-ad campaign that cost tens of thousands. Bags of money filled with unmarked bills weren’t left on people’s back doorsteps. The carte-blanche services of Nevada prostitutes weren’t offered, and no remnants of cocaine lines were found on anyone’s desk.

The guy sent out a dumb e-mail….BIG DEAL. Read the e-mail, shake your head in amazement, hit delete…END OF STORY.

Chartier has issued an apology, and the Academy has reportedly called a meeting about this, and will probably issue some kind of statement that says this sort of thing isn’t done, etc. Can we all go back into nodding-out mode now?

I have to leave to do a Girl With The Dragon Tattoo interview and then a screening of Kevin Smith’s Cop Out. Apologies for the black-blanket effect that the Crazy Heart skin ad has been having on some browsers. It’s fine on Firefox and Safari but apparently Internet Explorer users have had difficulty. Is this pretty much the case?

Who cares if Nell Minnow — a.k.a., “Movie Mom” at belief.net — has a problem with the red-band Kickass trailer that features costar Chloe Moretz and other under-age actors going all potty-mouth? Where is the intrigue or value in lamenting the effect of redband trailers upon American youths? Most younger teenagers would laugh in derision if they read this article…hello?

N.Y. Times reporter Brooks Barnes posted an article about this on 2.23. (It’s in today’s edition.) It’s extremely curious to see a piece in a world-class newspaper giving voice to concerns of people who don’t count and don’t matter.

“A trailer for the forthcoming film Kick-Ass that depicts the girl wielding a gun and using highly, highly profane language is igniting debate about how Hollywood advertises its R-rated films on the Web,” Barnes writes.

“Movie marketers in recent years have increasingly relied on raunchy ads known as red-band” trailers to stir interest in their films. While most trailers are approved for broad audiences by the Motion Picture Association of America, the red-labeled variety usually include nudity, profanity and other material deemed inappropriate for children. Many theaters refuse to run these trailers, but they are widely distributed online — and that is at the root of the current dust-up.”

On top of which the Times own attitudes are so blue-nosed that they haven’t even posted a link to the trailer that Barnes has written about. Or at least not that I noticed.

Nikki Finke‘s story about Matt Damon being attached to a Robert F. Kennedy biopic (based on a 2002 Evan Thomas biography) is a bit of a “meh.” I’d expect Damon to match Steven Culp‘s performance in Roger Donaldson‘s Thirteen Days, at least. But I’m not sure what this would come to.

The Coen Bros. obviously wouldn’t have chosen Hailee Steinfeld to play Mattie Ross in their True Grit remake if they didn’t think she had the necessary spunk, piss and vinegar. Or if they weren’t convinced that she’ll make their beautiful Old West dialogue sing just right. But surely they understand, being wise fellows, that genetically she’s about as Zane Grey as an iPad.

(l.) Hailee Steinfeld; (r.) Ethan, Joel Coen.

Steinfeld is fetching, all right, but in a radiant and (to me) almost dazzling-JAP sort of way — she’d be right at home on the slopes at Aspen. Whereas old photographs of wimmin of the Old West show they mostly had a hard-scrubbed, Plane Jane, almost beaten-down look. Perhaps a bit more Kim Darbyish than Steinfeldy, I’m sayin’.

I can roll with Steinfeld — don’t get me wrong. It’s just going to take a bit more in the way of disbelief-suspension. (Interestingly, in their open casting call print-out for the part the Coens wrote “no makeup model types.”)

The Coens and Steinfeld and costars Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin will begin shooting True Grit in New Mexico next month. The Scott Rudin-produced Paramount film will open on 12.25.10.

By the silver standard of the 1969 Henry Hathaway True Grit (which I need to see again), Steinfeld is Darby, Bridges is John Wayne, Brolin is Robert Duvall and Damon is Glenn Campbell.

The usual Peggy Siegal-invited elites attended tonight’s Monkey Bar party to celebrate The Hurt Locker: The Shooting Script (Newmarket Press) — screenplay by Mark Boal, introduction by Kathryn Bigelow. The gathering was hosted by Bigelow and literary agent David Kuhn.

Hurt Locker screenwriter-producer Mark Boal — Tuesday, 2.23, 8:35 pm.

Intrepid N.Y. Times “Carpetbagger” Melena Ryzik, Hurt Locker director Kathryn Bigelow — Tuesday, 2.23, 8:45 pm.