Kill Harvey

With Variety‘s Michael Fleming having reported that the wise and perceptive Tom Hanks has decided against playing Elwood P. Dowd in Steven Spielberg‘s Harvey remake, Movieline‘s Kyle Buchanan is predicting that Will Smith will probably snap it up.

But if Smith knows what’s good for him, he won’t. He needs to (a) man up and stop trying to be likable/charming/ingratiating all the time, (b) never commit on-screen suicide with lethal jellyfish ever again, and (c) realize that Spielberg is starting to be over and do the old downhill side. I’m pledging right now that if Smith turns Spielberg down he’ll get a 12-month goodwill pass from Hollywood Elsewhere. Okay, 18 months.

The word needs to go out to all the agencies — turn Spielberg down if he comes calling with the Harvey role! The ideal thing would be Spielberg re-experiencing what George McGovern went through in ’72 when he offered the vice-presidential slot to just about everyone after Thomas Eagleton was zotzed off the ticket. Can the Harvey project be nipped in the bud? It’s won’t be a catastrophe if it gets made. I’ll live, nobody will get sick, etc. But it does seem like such a rotten idea.

Absence of Kim’s

“Beyond the mail delays and the botched orders, the lack of human interaction is the big problem with Netflix and its cyber-ilk. Thanks to the Internet, we can now do nearly everything — working, shopping, moviegoing, social networking, having sex — on one machine at home. We’re becoming a society of shut-ins. We deprive ourselves of exercise, even if it’s just a stroll around the mall, until we’re the shape of those blobby people in WALL*E. And we deny ourselves the random epiphanies of human contact.” — from Richard Corliss‘s 8.10 Time essay, “Why Netflix Stinks: A Critic’s Complaint.”

The Blues


I now own about 64 or 65 Blurays, a good 75% or 80% of them purchased over the last seven months at full-price retail. What is that, a shell-out of $1500 or thereabouts?

The greeting message of the low-rent spyware that took over my 17″ Gateway last Sunday. Notice the use of the phrase “break your life.” It’s one of those b.s. programs that says you’ve been invaded by 38 spywares/malwares and the only way to get rid of them is to purchase their b.s. spyware-fighting software for $59 and change. Except (a) you can’t bypass/blow it off and (b) the program doesn’t even respond to attempts to purchase. The infestation is so bad that I can’t even open the computer in safe mode. I need to at least recover the data so I have to take the damn thing into a computer repair shop on Sullivan Street this afternoon and pay them $90.

Tuesday, 8.4, 8:40 pm

Argument Over Beers

I had an argument last night with Jett over my assertion that conservative righties are essentially defined by selfishness. Because they’re basically the party of “me first, taking care of my own family, the less fortunate need to get their act together and work harder, darker-skinned people are entitled to the good life but a lot of them don’t seem to really get it like we do, I-don’t-know-about-that-global-warming-stuff, I like to play golf and drive my SUV to the hardware store or the country club and do whatever the hell I want within the bounds of reason because that’s what rugged American individualists get to do,” etc.

There are wrinkles and variations and exceptions among them but righties are basically bastards and social Darwinians who live by their belief that the world is for the few, I said. And Jett felt I was talking like a demagogue.

I then said that while I don’t like to use absolute moralist terms like “good” and “evil,” one has to at least define them and use them as reference terms if you want to communicate with people. One can therefore say that the essential core quality that has to exist as a behavioral platform for evil to flourish is selfishness. Selfishness — “not them but me, not the greater good but mine” — is where all bad and ugly things begin.

It can therefore be said that in this day and age, righties are, by their relentless me-first attitudes and by certain lights and after a certain fashion, evil.

Because they only care about their own rice bowl. Because they’re still stone cold in love with the idea of being John Wayne on horseback with a rifle at the ready, and because their party is the house that welcomes and pays lip service to all the ignorant crazies out there — the beer-gut yahoos and birthers and anti-stem-cell researchers, Minutemen and hee-haw Christians (which is to say fantasists who need to believe in absurd mythology in order to embrace morality). They are the party of “hey, what about the way things used to be when rock-solid white people basically controlled everything?”

Because in an era that cries out for measures that address social inequities and benefit the greater good, for deeds and legislation that will address the financial plundering of the last 30 years and keep the buccaneers who’ve brought this country to the brink of financial Armageddon from ever again revelling in insanely lavish profiteering to the detriment of Average Joes, and which will institute policies that will stop or least slow the advance of global pollution and ruination, the righties are still in love with the idea of “get government off our backs so we can hold onto more and live lavishly and hold high the torch of Ronald Reagan and have sleazy affairs with assistants if we so choose.”

In a perfect liberal world the selfishness of the truly obstinate righties (recognizing that some righties live by a certain Barry Goldwater-ish integrity that warrants a certain respect) would simply not be tolerated any more. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh or rash but any home-owner who’s dealt with crabgrass will understand. We don’t, of course, live in a perfect world. But we can dream.

Jett was appalled. You can’t rashly define conservatives as being evil, he said. I’m not precisely doing that, I said. I’m saying that their core instincts and beliefs allow for a behavioral climate and philosophy that feeds and winks at the essence of evil.

And that this way of seeing and living life has no place in a world that’s been all but ruined by selfish plundering that has done little but fortify the lifestyles of the tennis-playing, rifle-toting, red-tie-wearing and cowboy-hatted Cheney elite. I’m saying that while everyone is basically selfish and grappling on a constant daily basis with out-for-ourselves urges, at least liberals don’t embrace a theology that celebrates selfishness — i.e., “greed is good.”

Exterminate, forbid or significantly reduce selfishness in our society and we’re obviously looking at a better world. Therefore the extermination of the right would theoretically be a reasonably good thing. Not that this is possible. I understand that. But if I ran things they would all be rounded up and sent to green internment camps for reeducation. All right, I’m kidding.

This is what people say over beers. But the only way you learn what people really think is over beers. Or when they let go with a Freudian slip or words in passing (obiter dicta) that give the game away. Or when they’re angry and arguing with their families. People are basically one-eyed jacks. The world only sees the the palatable/reasonable side of their faces and natures.

Toyland

This G.I. Joe spoof trailer gets down to the adolescent heart of the matter. The only bothersome thing is that it was posted three days ago.

Feel I’ve Seen It

An antagonistic prick-father-and-pissed-off-son relationship (Jeff Bridges, Justin Timberlake) and a road trip taken with Kate Mara (i.e., Heath Ledger‘s daughter in Brokeback Mountain) in which it all gets hashed out. And with a title like The Open Road (Anchor Bay, 8.28)…well, how can it miss?

In A Nutshell

Nora Ephron‘s Julie & Julia isn’t half bad for a female-market foodie movie. What doesn’t work then? A baseball analogy obviously doesn’t fit but I’m going to use one anyway. Meryl Streep‘s almost musical performance as Julia Child amounts to a series of ground-rule doubles. Strong swing, crack of the bat but not homer-level. And Ephron’s direction is technically smooth and error-free — she’s a good manager. But Amy Adams has been given a thankless role, that of an agitated and shrewish Child devotee named Julie Powell, and she hasn’t been given the dialogue or the emotional range with which to hit a serious slammer. So what happens is that every time Streep makes it to second base, Adams comes along and whiffs or pops out or hits a fast grounder to the shortstop. So while Julie & Julia doesn’t lose the game, it never really scores.

Save LACMA Petition

It won’t help but there’s a save-LACMA’s-film-screening-program petition circulating online that some may want to sign and pass along. The honest truth is that over the last three or four years I’ve gone to see films at LACMA maybe twice a year, if that. If a Los Angeleno with a fanatical film-loving personality doesn’t attend a sophisticated venue like LACMA’s more than that, something’s wrong. When I’ve gone to theatrical screenings of classics films I went to the American Cinematheque theatres in Hollywood and Santa Monica. The last seriously cool LACMA event I attended was watching Rififi and listening to Jules Dassin talk about it.

Victoria, Chloe at TIFF

It was announced today that Jean-Marc Vallee‘s The Young Victoria, in which Emily Blunt portrays the twentyish 19th Century queen-to-be, will close next month’s Toronto Film Festival. Atom Egoyan‘s Chloe, a hothouse drama about marital infidelity with Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore, will also unspool at a TIFF gala.