An undated piece on BuzzBingo announces that Jonah Hill has surpassed Samuel L. Jackson as the all-time movie profanity king, largely due to Hill’s performance in The Wolf of Wall Street.

Terrific — congrats to Jonah and to Wolf director Martin Scorsese, who egged Jonah on in this regard. But why now? Did the profanity counters of the world (and surely there are others besides the BuzzBingo guys) fail to tabulate Hill’s eff-bombs in the immediate wake of Scorsese’s film, which opened six and a half years ago? They took note of all the Uncut Gems eff-bombs so they’re charting things as they go along, but why…? Forget it.

Never allow a road-rage incident to ignite. Always apologize, turn the other cheek, accept blame, let it go.

There are three reasons why Derrick Borte, Carl Ellsworth and Russell Crowe‘s Unhinged (Solstice Studios, 7.1) is suddenly a major wanna-see. One, it’s Steven Spielberg‘s Duel meets Joel Schumacher‘s Falling Down, and we all know the name of that tune. Two, it’s about a hair-trigger situation that we’ve all experienced at one time or another, and in a broader sense about the general bottled-up rage that lies just beneath the surface of American life these days. And three, some of us have felt like Crowe’s character at one time or another (to our shame), but more of us have unwisely behaved like Caren Pistorious‘s enraged mom.

Crowe is the classic madman, but Pistorious is more of a villain because she won’t won’t dial it down when he apologizes. She drew first blood, not him.

Wiki note: “Originally scheduled to be released on September 4, 2020, Unhinged was moved up to July 1, 2020, in order to ‘likely be the first to test the waters as theaters try to rebound‘ from the COVID-19 pandemic.”

A nearly week-old report from the White House’s pandemic task force reportedly suggests that the behavior of “open up” bumblefucks in Middle America has resulted in a surge of Covid-19 infections.

It sounds cold to say this, but it’ll be better for all of us once this information gets around. You can’t talk to these “open up” idiots but once their friends and family members start dying they might have second thoughts.

A 5.11 NBC News report says that coronavirus infection rates “are spiking to new highs in several metropolitan areas and smaller communities across the country, according to undisclosed data the White House’s pandemic task force is using to track rates of infection, which was obtained by NBC News.

“The data in a May 7 coronavirus task force report are at odds with President Donald Trump‘s declaration Monday that ‘all throughout the country, the numbers are coming down rapidly.’

“The 10 top areas recorded surges of 72.4 percent or greater over a seven-day period compared to the previous week, according to a set of tables produced for the task force by its data and analytics unit. They include Nashville, Tennessee; Des Moines, Iowa; Amarillo, Texas; and — atop the list, with a 650 percent increase — Central City, Kentucky.

“On a separate list of ‘locations to watch,’ which didn’t meet the precise criteria for the first set: Charlotte, North Carolina; Kansas City, Missouri; Omaha and Lincoln, Nebraska; Minneapolis; Montgomery, Alabama; Columbus, Ohio; and Phoenix.

“The rates of new cases in Charlotte and Kansas City represented increases of more than 200 percent over the previous week, and other tables included in the data show clusters in neighboring counties that don’t form geographic areas on their own, such as Wisconsin’s Kenosha and Racine counties, which neighbor each other between Chicago and Milwaukee.”

A 2K Criterion Bluray of Paul Dano‘s Wildlife pops on 5.26. An impressively composed debut effort and certainly well acted, Wildlife is arguably the most grotesque infidelity drama of the 21st Century, not to mention the most cruel of heart.

The Criterion web page calls this early ’60s small-town drama, based on a Richard Ford novel, “a deeply human look at a woman’s wayward journey toward self-fulfillment in the pre-women’s-liberation era.” The use of “wayward” alludes to a mother (Carey Mulligan) cheating on her absent firefighter husband (Jake Gyllenhaal) with a rich Uriah Heep (Bill Camp) while her teenage son (Ed Oxenbould) looks on. Indeed — Mulligan all but invites Oxenbould to take part.

One glance at Oxenbould tells you he couldn’t possibly be the biological son of Mulligan and Gyllenhaal. He couldn’t be a distant nephew. And yet — this is interesting — he could easily be the son of Dano and co-screenwriter Zoey Kazan, who’ve been romantically partnered since 2007.

Paul Dano’s Wildlife is not a three-character domestic drama about a peevish, beer-drinking father (Jake Gyllenhaal) regarding his wife and son (Carey Mulligan, Ed Oxenbould) from a distance. If the Criterion cover was honest it would show Oxenbould looking through a bedroom window with horror as he watches Mulligan doing it doggy-style with Bill Camp.

Some of the La Pizza regulars (myself included) got together on Zoom this evening to chat and swap Cannes Film Festival stories and, I guess, remind ourselves that journalistic bon ami is still a thing, even in these suffocating times. Thanks to Indiewire‘s Eric Kohn and Anne Thompson for inviting me to participate.

18 industry pallies in all — Eric, Anne, myself, Rajendra Roy, Jordan Hoffman, Eugene Hernandez, Brian Brooks, David Ehrlich, Ann Hornaday, Rebecca Keegan, Tomris Laffly, Svetlana Cvetko, David Scott Smith, Amy Nicholson, Charlie Olsky, Michael Lerman, Carl Spence, Sean Berney, David Nugent, Diana Drumm, Jacqueline Coley, Dusty Smith, Jeff Deutchman.

I made the mistake of asking early on if the 2020 Telluride Film Festival is going to happen or not. The gang wasn’t in the mood at first. They were more into hive humor — anecdotal, giggly, quippy. Then again the conversation at regular La Pizza gatherings over the years has mostly leaned in this direction so this was a good recapturing.

Okay, I felt a tad underwhelmed by all the goofing around. It was like chatting with friends in the high-school parking lot after classes have ended at 2:45 pm. I was once again a miserable 17 year-old who resented the in-crowd. Some were sipping wine and therefore “happy,” and I was doing my usual suppressed Klaus Kinski while trying to be a good sport, etc.

At the very end of the session Anne Thompson asked for predictions about Telluride. Some…okay, most seemed to say it’s not going to happen in the usual traditional sense, but on some kind of closed or private screening basis in Los Angeles and New York. Or something like that. Hoffman said he believes that of all the hot fall festivals Telluride is the least likely to happen.

Thanks again to Eric and Anne. It was nice to talk shit and share recollections. I chuckled a few times. No harm, no foul.

For years I dearly loved the ending of Killing Them Softly: “This guy wants to tell me we’re living in a community? Don’t make me laugh. I’m living in America, and in America you’re on your own. America’s not a country — it’s a business. Now fuckin’ pay me.”

But I began to feel differently when the feds and the state of California coughed up some dough to help me out. I’m sorry but I was affected by this, and almost moved.

“The oddity in all of this is the people Trump despises most, love him the most. The people who are voting for Trump for the most part…he wouldn’t even let them in a fucking hotel. He’d be disgusted by them. Go to Mar-a-Lago, see if there’s any people who look like you. I’m talking to you in the audience.” — Howard Stern earlier today, speaking to listeners of his Siris XM talk show and quoted by the N.Y. Daily News‘ Brian Niemietz.

James Gray‘s next film will be some kind of autobiographical drama called Armageddon Time, about Gray coming of age in Queens in the mid ’80s, and with two of the characters being 30something Donald Trump as well as his dad, the Queens real estate tycoon Fred Trump.

Cate Blanchett will play a significant role in Armageddon Times, which will be produced by RT Features.

Born to Ukrainian-Jewish parents and raised in Flushing, Gray was in his early to late teens in the ’80s. Pic relates Gray’s history at Kew-Forest School, where Fred Trump served on the board and where young incorrigible Donald was a student in the ’60s. Collider’s Jeff Sneider reports that “the school’s principal will be a central character, though it’s unclear if Blanchett will tackle that role or a different one entirely, such as the young protagonist’s mother.”

Do I want to see a film that even peripherally observes the ne’er-do-well activities of Fred and Donald? What is there left to say about those assholes?

If I was the actual Jeff Goldblum as opposed to the doppelganger in this Richmond street fight, I would be on the phone to my agent right now.

“Whatever the next role is,” I would say, “the producers have to agree to include a scene in which my character gets into an argument with some bare-chested asshole and does exactly this when push comes to shove.

“I don’t care if it’s a Wes Anderson film or Jurassic Park VII or whatever…we have to build on the lore of this thing. It’s trending all over and I need to be this guy. Kids all over the world are going ‘whoo-whoo!’…this kind of thing happens very rarely.”

Agent to Goldblum: “Wait…you could be the next Liam ‘Paycheck’ Neeson!”

Jeff Goldblum had enough of shirtless guy’s shit pic.twitter.com/KA0DbKdEr7

— KFC Radio (@KFCradio) May 12, 2020

I don’t turn on but Tatyana does, and so a couple of days ago I brought home three store-bought joints. Three flavors, horn-shaped, about $15 bills each. Plus a tin of cannabis-infused gummies.

She began with the strawberry-flavored one, and the aroma was wonderful. It smelled so good I was almost tempted, but I can’t. But what a business, what a brand, what a profit margin. When I was spry and bushy-tailed an ounce would run $20, and if you were busted for dealing bricks you could do serious time.

I watched Howard Hawks‘ Hatari! last night. I don’t know why but I did. Hugely incorrect from a conservationist perspective, of course. Colorful, occasionally diverting, irritating at times. John Wayne, 55, was too old for Elsa Martinelli, 27, who nonetheless did a decent job of filling the shoes of the proverbial “Hawks woman.”

I for one got off the Hawks boat after Hatari (’62), but his output between Scarface (’34) and Hatari is mostly unassailable. My favorites are the same as everyone else’s — Scarface, Twentieth Century, Bringing Up Baby, Only Angels Have Wings, His Girl Friday, Sergeant York, Ball of Fire, Air Force, To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Red River, A Song Is Born, (NO to I Was a Male War Bride), The Thing from Another World, The Big Sky, (NO to Monkey Business), Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Land of the Pharaohs, Rio Bravo. His greatest period was between ’32 and ’62 — a 30-year hot streak.

Posted from Prague four years ago (5.24.16).