The embargo on Jerry Lewis‘s The Day The Clown Cried (’72) won’t lift until June 2024, but don’t let that spoil your amusement. Why, incidentally, would Criterion use a monochrome image of Lewis for the Bluray jacket cover? The guy who created this couldn’t find any decent color images? Kinda lazy-ass, no?

From “The Mask Fiasco,” a 4.1 N.Y. Times piece by David Leonardt: “When the coronavirus began spreading, officials seemed to be promoting two contradictory ideas: First, masks would not help keep people safe; and second, masks were so important that they should be reserved for doctors and nurses.

“It reminded me of the line credited to Yogi Berra about a New York restaurant: ‘Nobody goes there anymore — it’s too crowded.’**

“The truth has become clearer in recent days. Masks probably do provide some protection. They’re particularly effective at keeping somebody who already has the virus from spreading it to others, and they may also make the mask’s wearer less likely to get sick.

“‘Coronavirus appears to mostly spread when germ-containing droplets make it into a person’s mouth, nose, or eyes,’ Vox’s German Lopez explains. ‘If you have a physical barrier in front of your mouth and nose, that’s simply less likely to happen.'”

** What Berra meant, of course, was that cool people in his realm had stopped going to the restaurant in question because the unwashed masses had discovered it and had made it noisy and more or less impossible to get a table.

Phillip Noyce and Joe Eszterhas‘s Sliver opened nearly 27 years ago — 5.21.93. It’s been that long since I’ve seen it. My recollection is that it was a reasonably well-made erotic thriller with a deeply unsatisfying ending. I know it was nominated for five or six Razzies but I’m clinging to this notion that it was generally half-decent.

I understand why Paramount and Noyce decided to junk the original finale, in which Billy Baldwin and Sharon Stone were seemingly roasted to death when he steered a chopper in which they were flying into an active volcano — a lunatic suicide dive. A test audience allegedly hated it, but the re-shot ending wasn’t very good either. Stone angrily shot out of a bunch of Baldwin’s video screens, and then b&w footage revealed second-billed Tom Berenger to be the killer. Which didn’t add up. Stone’s closing line — “Get a life” — wasn’t bad.

I had this vague recollection that Sliver was a financial bust, but it made $124 million on a $40 million budget.

Wiki excerpt: “In the film’s original ending Zeke (Baldwin), instead of Jack (Berenger), turns out to be the antagonist. Zeke and Carly fly over a Hawaiian volcano when Zeke suddenly confesses his crimes. He then veers the aircraft into the volcano as the end credits roll and leaves the audience to decide whether they survive.[6] The shooting of the final scene resulted in the crashing of the helicopter. After an investigation the pilot’s certificate was temporarily suspended. The footage shot during the flight was destroyed.”

Actually a work-print version of the volcano ending survived and was posted on YouTube three and a half years ago.

It took around four hours to complete the Coral Gables transformation. The place now has a kind of Key West feeling. A three-day effort altogether — Saturday, Monday and today.

Last year two documentaries focused on the mid to late ’60s Laurel Canyon music scene — A.J. Eaton and Cameron Crowe‘s David Crosby: Remember My Name and Andrew Slater‘s Echo In The Canyon. Now comes a third doc on the same subject — Allison Ellwood‘s Laurel Canyon, a two-part EPIX doc airing on 5.31 and 6.7. Featuring “archival footage, never-before-seen footage and interviews with Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt, Linda Ronstadt, Don Henley, Michelle Phillips and others,” etc. Will there be a fourth? Ellwood’s previous doc credits include The Go-Go’s, American Jihad, History of the Eagles, Spring Broke and Magic Trip: Ken Kesey’s Search for a Kool Place.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not pleased with my new polka-dot face mask. Tatyana says it’s foolish because it’s not an N95-level mask; she says it’s for bank-robbing at best. Nonetheless it looks better than my white N95 masks (I have three or four) or the lightweight paper surgical masks I’ve been wearing for the last couple of weeks. Be honest — if you had a choice between a run-of-the-mill mask and this Bloomingdale’s variation, which would you wear as you walk your dog or hit the gas station or whatever?

A couple of days ago I stood up like Davy Crockett against Larry Karaszewski and his motley band of Nashville worshippers on Facebook. I held my ground, swinging Ol’ Betsy as General Santa Anna’s troops stormed and besieged. It’s so bizarre that accomplished people who know what they’re talking about have remained Nashville fans. My initial “Okay, The Nashville Jig Is Up” piece ran on 12.14.13. Why didn’t Steven Gaydos jump into this when musketballs were flying and gunpowder was short?

All along I’ve been wondering if HE commenter “James Woods” might be the Real McCoy. Well, he’s not, and that’s from the horse’s mouth. The imposter is hereby requested to change his handle immediately. If he doesn’t, I’ll cancel his ticket. He can call himself “Little Jimmy” or something in that vein. Fair warning.

I was sharing a boozy thought with Treat Williams around 1 am. It was the fall of ’82 or thereabouts, and we were sitting at a table of rowdy actors at Cafe Central, which was the hip bar at the time. John Heard and Cher were also at the table, and I heard the next day that they went home together.

The problem was that I’d had one or two too many and was slurring my words. Not making much sense. “What?” Williams asked, a bit irritated. I blurted it out again, whatever my Jack Daniels-soaked brain had managed to formulate and discharge. “I don’t getcha,” he said, and that was it.

Detective Stern: What did you say your name was?
Daniel Ciello: Ciello.
Detective Stern: Are you the Detective Ciello?
Daniel Ciello: I’m Detective Ciello.
Detective Stern: I don’t think I have anything to learn from you.

For no reason pic.twitter.com/BR1E7Hvwsh

— Treat Williams (@Rtreatwilliams) March 30, 2020

Great quote: “Because I know what I might think about. And what I won’t think about. But you’re a great interviewer, by the way.”

Chris Cuomo: “With all of this adulation that you’re getting for doing your job, are you thinking about running for president? Tell the audience.”

Gov. Andrew Cuomo: “No, no.”

CC: “No you won’t answer?”

AC: “No, I answered. The answer’s no. It’s just one word. I said no.” pic.twitter.com/afFkPd4FyU

— The Hill (@thehill) March 31, 2020

Earlier today Brian and Eddie Krassenstein posted a Medium piece that casts an unfavorable light upon Alexandra Tara Reade, the 50ish woman who recently accused Joe Biden of having sexually assaulted her back in ’93, when she was working for him.

The basic thrust: “While the allegations made by Reade are impossible to prove or disprove, examining Reade’s actions over the years and other evidence that has been archived on the internet, brings her honesty and integrity into question.”

The Krassensteins appears to have done their homework as far as Reade’s online postings are concerned, not to mention her name changes.