What this story needs is an ending. If we were all watching the movie (which we are) and we’d come to the third act (which we have), the lead character would need to do the final thing. I’m just saying….if.
I wouldn’t end it this way if I was the screenwriter, of course. I’d have the lead character and two loyal friends sucker the paparazzi into a Hollywood hills cul-de-sac, block their exit and then move in with flamethrowers and torch every one of ’em. And then the three perps would plead temporary insanity and get off with a suspended sentence and the jurors would carry them out, cheering.
Here’s a bold thought from CHUD’s Devin Faraci, by the way: “If, before she was committed, Britney Spears had been found dead with ‘oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine’ (better known as OxyContin, Vicodin, Valium, Xanax, Restoril and Unisom) in her system, the media would be full of talk about a druggie ODing. When Heath Ledger‘s toxicology report turns up the same drugs, it’s a tragic accident, and everybody makes sure to mention that he was prescribed these drugs. But what’s the difference, really? None, as far as I can see.”