Most of us understand what the terms “suspended animation” and “suspended sentence” mean, but a Presidential candidate announcing that he/she is “suspending” their campaign implies they’re putting it on hold as opposed to shutting it down. They’re not turning off the DVD player and heading out for a bike ride — they’re hitting freeze-frame and keeping the TV on in case an unforeseen opportunity presents itself down the road.

Which in the case of Michelle Bachmann‘s over-and-done-with campaign is a chickenshit dodge.

If you’re having relationship problems, your girlfriend might say “so you wanna break up or what?” And you might say “well, not exactly…what I had in mind is that we should suspend our relationship as opposed to throwing it into the wastebasket. Let’s freeze it in the space-time continuum in case we want to return to it next month or next year…okay?” To which she would say, “You know, this is one of the reasons why we don’t get along. You are so SO full of shit sometimes.”