Instant Ear Bug

I’ve been an Allman Brothers guy since the Nixon administration**, but until last night I’d somehow never listened to this one.

The actual sung lyric is “nobody left to run with any more”,

“Everybody wants to know where Jimmy has gone
He left town, I doubt if he’s coming back home
Well, Tony got a job, three kids and a lovely wife
Working in the Commerce Bank for the rest of his life”

…everything fades, weakens, falls away.

** To think that Richard Nixon was once regarded as Beelzebub incarnate. By today’s standards he’s a center-right moderate. Okay, with a paranoid streak.

Best Allman Brothers Story,” posted on 8.21.19:

“How Dark Are You Willing To Go?”

David Cronenberg‘s smoothly creepy The Shrouds has just opened theatrically. A great date movie if you have the right kind of girlfriend.

Posted from Cannes on 5.21.24:

David Cronenberg‘s The Shrouds is a brainy, silky, sophisticated, deliberately paced, high-toned “horror” film for smart, well-educated people. I loved hanging with it…hanging in it.

Vincent Cassel, in great physical shape and adorned with a great silver be-bop pompadour haircut, is Karsh, a widower who’s devastated by the passing of his wife Becca (Diane Kruger).

As a way of managing his grief he’s invented GraveTech, a cutting-edge technology that enables survivors to keep visual tabs on their loved ones as they rot in their tombs.

I’m serious — that’s really what it’s about. Watching a loved one’s body slowly rot and decay. I was sitting there going “uhm…okay” and then it was “wait…really?”

I didn’t love the complex, slow-moving story but I adored the Cronenberg-ness…the handsome stylings, the discreet nudity, the sex, the flush vibe, the upscale Canadian atmosphere, the shadowy mood, the smart dialogue.

Cassel, Kruger, Guy Pearce, Sandrine Holt, Elizabeth Saunders…everyone brings their A-level game. That was enough for me.

“Dont Hurt Me, Don’t Hurt Me, Don’t Hurt Me”

I sing this with mannish gusto while cruising down the Merritt Parkway, you bet, and as questionable as this may sound, I can sing it as well as Muddy Waters. Really. I also do the “owwoo-yeah!” stuff. Five minutes and 29 seconds of absolute joy. Always leaves me in a great mood. Unlike what you get from Sinners, songs like this are the real thing.

“Waters recorded ‘Mannish Boy’ in Chicago on May 24, 1955. Featuring Jimmy Rogers on guitar and Fred Below on drums.

Favorite “Thelma and Louise” Scene

The second clip, I mean…the one with the Jamaican Jimmy Cliff guy…”I think I can make it now, the pain is gone.” And I’m saying this with a split reaction. If I were locked in a car trunk alongside a highway, the last thing I’d want to be is fucking stoned.

“Accountant 2” Is Pure Pleasure….Washed “Sinners” Out Of My System!

HE to Gavin O’Connor, emailed last night around 10 pm: “Gavin — I’ve just come from a screening of The Accountant 2, and I fucking loved it! It made me feel like I was 15 or 16 and hanging with friends.

“The brotherly rapport, which is to say the low-key, contentious, character-driven humor….the disciplined brainy vibe, the wonderful Juarez prison camp finale, the tabby cat, that icy blonde assassin (Daniella Pineda), the extra-wonderful country-bar dance scene….escapism par excellence!

“I wasn’t sure at first (the presence of J.K. Simmons‘ Raymond King threw me off) and to be fully honest I never fully put together every last plot strand (looking forward to reading a synopsis before seeing it again), but once Bernthal arrived and the humor kicked in, I was in heaven.

“The original Accountant was better than reasonably decent, and I was naturally hoping the sequel would be as good. But it’s five times better! Magnificent job! Had a great time! — Jeffrey Wells, HE (we haven’t seen each other since that party at Brett Ratner‘s a dozen or so years ago).”

Roughly five years after the release of The Accountant (’16) O’Connor announced that there would not only be an Accountant sequel but a trilogy.

“I’ve always wanted to do three because…we’re going to integrate Jon Bernthal‘s brother into the story,” O’Connor said. “So there’ll be more screen time for Bernthal in the second one. And then the third movie’s going to be, I call it, ‘Rain Man on steroids.’ The third movie is going to be the two brothers, this odd couple. The third one is going be a buddy picture.”

Well, O’Connor lied! Or at the very least he misdirected or jumped the gun or whatever. Because The Accountant 2 is, without a doubt, Rain Man on steroids itself…obviously….a brothers-in-jeopardy buddy comedy with lots of wit and persuasive atmosphere and beat-downs and thousands of whizzing bullets and dust and bald bad guys and crash-boom-bang, but always with the dry humor and a wonderful feeling of assurance that neither Ben Affleck nor Bernthal will get killed…pure fantasy bullshit but a total blast.

I felt vaguely miserable after seeing Sinners and then even more miserable after reading all those deranged Sinners raves, but The Accountant 2 put the roses back in my cheeks. Partly because it’s just a fucking good-guys-vs.-bad-guys movie without a political agenda…no instruction!…no fucking gay guys-because-every-movie-needs-to-fulfill-a-gay-guy quota or lesbians or transies…no quota casting at all, no POCs (unless you count Mexicans) and no bold-as-brass, agenda-driven #MeToo Amazons with glaring eyes and flaring nostrils (although Cynthia Addai-Robinson‘s government agent is terrific)…no woke bullshit…thank you!

I was scared when I saw Affleck’s horrific mint-green-and-orange-creamsicle whitesides, and then I realized “oh, okay, he’s wearing ugly nerd sneakers because autistic guys don’t think about looking good…they wear what they wear compulsively” so I let it go, but my blood ran cold when I first saw them.

I loved, loved, loved a dialogue scene shot in a car lot filled with nothing but silver Airstreams…the total banishing of ugly-ass Winnebagos with those awful, blue-collar color patterns…bliss!

Will Ya Listen To This Successful Oaf?

Theo Von‘s introduction to his Ben Affleck interview sounds like this: “Today’s guest is an acTERR, a wriTERR, a direcTERR…he’s won an Oscar AWARRD. You know his movies, like Good Will Hunting, Gawn GRRRL, BatMAN…the list goes AWWN…”

The guy sounds under-educated, yokelish…like a mechanic, like the manager of a car wash in Akron, like a liquor store clerk in western Massachusetts, like an oil-field roughneck. Plus he’s kinda MAGA.

From a 4.23.25 N.Y. Times profile by Jon Caramanica:

“As an interviewer and the host of This Past Weekend, a podcast that routinely garners millions of views and listens, ranking among the most watched shows in the country, Von’s chameleonic chill is both his superpower and his mask. The result is a kind of lenticular effect — depending on the week, he’s a sophisticate or a naïf, one of the bros or a sly interloper.

“Von, an aww-shucks 45-year-old with hair somewhere between shag and mullet and a persistent mien of latent mischief, is often lumped into the inelegantly grouped ‘manosphere,’ a loose aggregation of podcast hosts and social media figures — Joe Rogan being the sun of that solar system — whose politics lean rightward and whose attitude is allergic to doubt. They have built, in short order, a parallel mainstream media ecosystem, with personality-driven platforms that often let guests hawk their viewpoints unchecked, creating an echo chamber of boast and brag.”

You know one of Von’s favorite expressions? “Aaagghh.” He also says “wow” and “yeah, dude.”

Paul Mescal as Weak-Ass William Shakespeare…My Heart Sinks

Unless the text of Maggie O’Farrell’s 2020 novel has been significantly departed from, Chloe Zhao‘s Hamnet (Focus Features, 11.27), co-written by O’Farrell and Zhao, is basically a hard-knocks feminist saga about Agnes Shakespeare (Jessie Buckley) coping with the indignities of 16th Century married life and the pitalls of dealng with a flaky, wistful husband.

It’s especially about the tragic death of Agnes’s 11-year-old son, Hamnet (Jacobi Jupe), from the plague in 1596.

And what of Hamnet’s dad, otherwise known as Agnes’s illustrious playwright hubby William Shakespeare (Paul Mescal)? Does he figure in the plot? Sure, of course he does…O’Farrell wouldn’t have written the book and the award-contending movie would’t be coming out if it wasn’t for The Bard’s towering reputation. But Will is a kind of secondary character in this thing. The movie is mainly about the angst of Agnes.

Hamnet is therefore a feminist wokey thang…co-written and directed by a woman…do the math. Wokey movies generally focus upon or celebrate (a) women, (b) LGBTQs and (c) POCs while portraying straight white guys as bad or weak apples. I haven’t seen Hamnet, but unless O’Farrell’s book has been totally thrown out the window, the film almost certainly qualifies in this regard. Agnes is Mother Courage, and Will is one weak, needy, selfish twat.

And yet three years after Hamnet’s passing, Will wrote Hamlet, a tragedy about an indecisive Danish prince whose name was fairly interchangable with that of Will’s late son.

Hamnet will probably debut at the Venice Film Festival, or a good three months before it opens.

Here are excerpts from online commentary about O’Farrell’s book — source #1 is from the Amazon “Hamnet” page, and source #2 is The-Bibliofile,com’s Hamnet page.

(a) “O’Farrell’s ‘Hamnet’ is a work of historical fiction, with a lot of emphasis on the word fiction. And is largely told with a focus on Agnes…Agnes and Anne being commonly interchangeable names at the time.”

(b) “Most people who know anything about Shakespeare know that his son Hamnet died, and Hamnet’s death was a deciding, changing factor in Shakespeare’s life, for good or ill. They also know that his married years with Anne/Agnes were largely spent apart from each other, and seem to have deteriorated for reasons unknown to time. We know she was a few years older than he. We also know she was almost certainly pregnant with their first child at the time of their marriage.”

(c) “‘Hamnet’ imagines Agnes as a child of nature — also a psychic and, in a way, according to the views of the times, a witch. She’s clearly smitten by Will, but as a result of this attachment and their marriage she gives up much of her own free thinking, and her own lifestyle, and other things that make her happy, all for love of this man. Well, what woman of the late 16th century did not do this? If you were a woman of this era, no matter how much you loved the man you married (or even if you didn’t love him at all), marriage meant the [spiritual] death of the woman. ‘Hamnet’ is an incredible exploration of that, emotionally.”

(d) “It is an introspection of a woman NO ONE knows, and he — Will — is a supporting character — and yet, brilliantly, at the same time, he is the main character. Because the planets circled him, not her. He’s portrayed as self-absorbed and troubled and needy — and at least in my own imagination, I can see him being all of those things.

(e) “The character of William Shakespeare in this book is humanized and made smaller. I understand why O’Farrell might want to do that, to avoid writing yet another tribute to the greatness of the towering figure of William Shakespeare. But this aspect of the book wasn’t entirely satisfying to me. Unlike his portrayal in the book, ultimately, Shakespeare wasn’t just a guy who became financially comfortable writing plays. Instead, he wrote masterpieces and a lot of them.

(f) “There’s very little in the book indicating that Will is or was a brilliant person. Instead, he’s depicted as a disappointment to his parents, an absent father, a weakling and kind of an unmotivated loser in general, all of which made it hard for me to view this as a story that was about Shakespeare at all.

(g) “I understand this wasn’t intended to be an origin story about William Shakespeare, but I also can’t imagine that this useless lump of a man described here would become the mythological creature that he is.”

Definitely Catching This Tonight

11:55 pm: I watched and waited, and it didn’t kick in. It’s pizazzy and well ordered and visually dynamic, but it felt synthetic. I was always aware that I was watching a really slick film. I lost interest.

Earlier: From Todd Gilchrist‘s 4.23 Variety review:

Bullet Train Explosion (Netflix, now streaming) meets a believability threshold that feels virtually unparalleled.

“Like his previous film Shin Godzilla, director Shinji Higuchi’s action thriller (a follow-up to the 1975’s The Bullet Train) explores with meticulous and realistic detail what a bureaucratic response might be to, well, a scenario that’s likely only to happen in the movies.

“Even without a movie star fighting his way up and down the trail (à la Bullet Train or Kill), Higuchi ensures that this scenario is no less exciting, relying on quieter but no less affecting acts of heroism as well as an escalating series of set-pieces that will thrill audiences until the last story beat has reached the end of the line.”

Cannes Putting Ethan Coen’s Latest Into Midnight Ghetto

Earlier today the Cannes Film Festival announced a decision to give a midnight slot to Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke‘s Honey Don’t, a lesbian detective comedy and the second in a “lesbian B-movie trilogy.” Which sounds unfortunate.

Even without Joel on board, the Coen brand is a “thing” — a bona fide signifier of edge and substance, going all the way back to the premiere of Blood Simple 41 years ago. But perhaps not so much in this instance.

It seems to me that consigning Honey Don’t to the Midnight Section is the festival’s way of saying that Honey Don’t is, no offense, insubstantial. They’re basically acknowledging that it’s a goof-off movie.

I for one am sorry that Ethan is committed to such tripe. He’s obviously capable of a great deal more.