The Apollo 8 “earthrise” photo was taken by astronaut Bill Anders almost exactly 50 years ago — 12.24.68. Joni Mitchell wrote her “marbled bowling ball” line for “Refuge of the Road” seven or eight years later.

The moon has never seemed all that far off. A good distance, of course, but not crazy-far. As a kid my calculations told me it was maybe 50,000 miles away. I would look up, gauge the moon’s size, consider the fact that lunar gravitation has something to do with ocean waves and calculate that with the earth’s diameter being 8000 miles the moon was maybe eight earth-sizes away. Okay, make it ten or 80,000 miles. The NY-to-LA drive is a little less than 3K so a flight to the moon, I figured, was the equivalent of 26 coast-to-coast drives.

It’s nothing like that, of course. The actual earth-to-moon distance averages 238,555 miles, which works out to 79 NY-to-LA road trips.** Or, if you prefer, the earth’s diameter times 29. If the earth is a basketball and the moon is a small apple or cherry tomato, the distance between them is 24 feet. Which strikes me, no offense, as a bit much.

In fact, between the earth and the moon you could fit all of the planets in our solar system end to end — Mercury, Venus, Mars, disappointing non-planet Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. (Pluto was demoted from planetary status in 2006, just like Hollywood Elsewhere was demoted this year by the Sundance Film Festival.)

Starting in ’02 and sporadically from then on, I’ve been listening to “Nothing Man” — replaying over and over at first, presently now and then, sometimes forgotten or put aside but never entirely gone. It’s like a friend, this song. Something I trust and rely upon from time to time.

Springsteen’s lyrics and vocal delivery are on the opaque side; the hook aspects have more to do with the “duh-doo-doo-doo-doo” choir at the end plus the French horn plus the modified, low-register cymbal crash it begins with.

Above and beyond the allusion to 9/11 horror (“misty cloud of pink vapor”), it resonates, I think, because everyone feels wiped out or hollowed out at one time or another — alive and focused as far as it goes but without much inside, at least for the time being.

Anyway, I decided roughly 16 years ago that this might be my favorite Springsteen song of all time.

I wasn’t uninterested in or indifferent to last night’s insanity, and particularly the protest resignation of Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, “the last adult in the room”; I just couldn’t think of anything to add. Dust and shrapnel, incoming missiles, lashing out, wheels coming off.

It’s too much to cram into one tight paragraph…U.S. troop departure from Syria and forthcoming 50% Afghanistan pullouts, Russia advantage and “malign actors,” an impending government shutdown over the wall because Trump fears the apocalyptic wrath of the Ann Coulter / Freedom Caucus righties, the eroding or tumbling stock market…it’s just wild instability and bunker-mentality chaos…a madman tailspin.

Filed last night by N.Y. Times reporter Nicholas Fandos: “Hawkish Republican lawmakers, still reeling from President Trump’s decision on Wednesday to yank American forces from Syria, found fresh cause for alarm on Thursday, after Defense Secretary Jim Mattis resigned in protest and reports circulated that the president was preparing to pull thousands of troops out of Afghanistan.

“Coming on the same day that Mr. Trump balked at an agreement to avert an imminent government shutdown, the rapid-fire developments prompted rare warnings from within Mr. Trump’s own party that his foreign policy could be leading toward dangerous instability on the global stage.

“In perhaps the most surprising response, Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the usually circumspect majority leader, issued a cutting and lengthy statement, saying: ‘It’s essential that the United States maintain and strengthen the post-World War II alliances that have been carefully built by leaders in both parties. We must also maintain a clear-eyed understanding of our friends and foes, and recognize that nations like Russia are among the latter.’

A recollection about the late Penny Marshall, posted on Facebook by director-screenwriter Alan Spencer — 12.18, 9:39 pm:

“Penny Marshall was authentic. What you saw is what you got. When we first met I was a young writer on the Paramount lot and she was a huge star, but didn’t act like one. She was humble.

“Penny was a master of physical comedy. I marveled at an episode of Laverne & Shirley where she played a nurse struggling to change a bed with a corpulent patient in it. She tugged on a sheet that wouldn’t budge, slid all the way under the bed and halfway across the floor. Penny executed this gag with the skill of Chaplin.

“Penny choreographed much of her slapstick on the show, often telling the writers to simply create a predicament and she’d do the rest. This inventiveness was an early indicator of directing prowess.

“Penny was frank. When she saw an old friend who’d put on a dangerous amount of weight, she drolly asked in that inimitable voice whether he’d ‘heard of something called a salad?‘ Another time, when an A-list actor approached her at a party, asking why he’d never been cast in her films, Penny said ‘because I hear you don’t know your lines or show up on time.’ The star left slack-jawed.

“Penny was a tough lady who knew how to take care of herself, but also took care of others — family, friends, coworkers. She was charitable, but never publicized her good deeds. After 9/11, she gave a lot of time and money towards rebuilding as well as first responders. And unlike other celebrities, Penny was able to move through tough areas of town. This street cred was proven by gang members who called out ‘Laverne’ whenever she walked past. She was a working-class hero.

“Penny smoked like a chimney. You could smoke meats in her living room. Nonsmoking laws didn’t apply to her as she’d light up in restaurants and nobody dared stop her.

“Penny had one of the first boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts upon their arrival in California. She had all the best pizza parlors on speed dial and never lost an eBay auction for a Beanie Baby. She was fun and unpretentious.

I was so taken the other night by Springsteen on Broadway, which I regard as a piece of one-man musical portraiture, that I thought I’d assemble a roster of my 25 all-time favorite musicals. How am I defining a musical? Any presentation of any kind (filmed narrative musical, stage musical live or captured on film/video, filmed concert) in which a minimum of five or six musical numbers are performed, for any reason or within any scheme.

1. Springsteen On Broadway

2. John Carney‘s Once

3. Lars von Trier‘s Dancer in the Dark

4. Sunday in the Park with George (1999 taping of B’way stage musical)

5. Damien Chazelle‘s La La Land

6. Richard Lester‘s A Hard Day’s Night

7. Alex Gibney‘s Mr. Dynamite: The Rise of James Brown

7. Alfred and David Maysles‘ Gimme Shelter

8. D.A. Pennebaker‘s Monterey Pop

9. Carousel (Live From Lincoln Center)

10. Michael Wadleigh‘s Woodstock

Yesterday I posted a riff about how Joe Biden‘s 2020 Presidential campaign will probably turn out better if he acquires a Clint Eastwood jawline. Right away some commenters started calling me shallow and whatnot, essentially declaring that attractive appearances don’t matter in politics.

One question: Imagine if during the 1960 Presidential election John F. Kennedy didn’t have his thick, wavy, reddish-brown hair but a thinning Biden-like thatch. Not to mention a pasty-faced complexion instead of his regular Florida tan. Plus a bulky, pot-bellied, Tip O’Neil physique due to a thing he had for ice cream, cheesecake, pasta and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Would his appearance have made any difference in the polling? Would he have still edged aside Richard M. Nixon?

See what I mean?

Men in Black International (aka MIB Paychecks) is “an upcoming American science-fiction action comedy film directed by F. Gary Gray and written by Art Marcum and Matt Holloway. Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson, Liam Neeson, Kumail Nanjiani, Rafe Spall, Rebecca Ferguson and Emma Thompson” — Wiki boilerplate.

At the risk of boring the regulars, HE’s legendary Sundance disenfranchisement has happened in two stages. Two years ago Sundance decided to withhold the Press Express Pass they had very generously allowed me to use for five years straight (Jan. ‘12 to Jan. ‘16) and demote me to grunt status. I was also given a grunt press pass last year.

And then a few weeks ago they zotzed me altogether out of press-pass accreditation. For the first time since 1993 (or was it ‘94?) I’ll be A Man Without A Sundance Press Pass.

I’m re-stating this to officially announce that I’ll be attending anyway and catching what I can through the good graces of publicist and producer pallies.

At least I’m good with the Slamdance gang and will be able to catch Steven Soderbergh‘s High Flying Bird, among other Slamdance attractions.

I trust we’re all in favor of an egalitarian press-pass approval process. Like Toronto began to do in earnest last September, Sundance is trying to spread press-pass access evenly and liberally, giving passes to younger critics, POC critics, woman critics, gay and trans critics…generally lowering barriers, opening the doors and trying to breathe with the times.

In line with this, I was informed last night that a certain midwest blogger who’s never been to Park City before is not only good for a Sundance ‘19 press pass but approved for an Press Express Pass — i.e., the kind of pass that for years has been de rigueur for Owen Gleiberman, Todd McCarthy, Eric Kohn, Anne Thompson, Kyle Buchanan and others at the top of the heap, given their general prominence and years of shrewd, diligent reviewing, industry assessments and backing from major print or web publications.

What does this tell us about where Sundance is at this year? Blowing me off entirely after attending and reporting on Sundance festivals for 25 years and yet giving a novice first-timer a coveted Press Express Pass? This is what a “woke” festival walks and talks like in The Year of Our Lord 2019.

An egalitarian festival, it seems, should really try to be an egalitarian festival. There should be room at the inn not just for hard-working and impassioned midwest critics but also, in a fair-minded, even-handed world, for hard-working, strongly opinionated, less than fully “woke” columnists like myself.

I’m just glad, given the cultural currents of our times, that the good people behind the Toronto, Cannes, Telluride, Berlin, New York, Slamdance and many other festivals subscribe to a different attitude and philosophy.

“I know I’ve been accused of being heavy-handed and whatnot, but the world we’re living in today is not the time to be subtle. It’s not the time. It’s my opinion that this upcoming [election]…two years is gonna go like that, two years is around the corner, two years is tomorrow…this upcoming Presidential election in two years is [gonna be] a battle for the soul of America…that’s what it’s gonna come down yo…it’s gonna be a battle for the soul and direction of the United States of America….I’m convinced of that…it’s gonna be a holy war, love against hate…Radio Raheem…Robert Mitchum with those tattoos on his fingers and Radio Raheem wearing those rings.” — Spike Lee speaking two weeks ago in an Indiewire Toolkit Podcast. Here’s the mp3.

By the way: There’s nothing especially eye-poppy about Chayse Irvin‘s cinematography for BlacKkKlansman. It’s mostly a straight-ahead, dialogue-driven drama that mostly happens indoors. Which makes me wonder why Universal decided to offer it in 4K Ultra HD (in addition to regular Bluray and high-def streaming). It wasn’t that long ago that 4K was exclusively set aside for CG spectacle stuff.

If you’re running a lost-briefcase-in-the-subway scam that allows you to meet and glom onto naive Good Samaritans, why would you store all your briefcases in an easily accessible, main-floor cabinet that any visitor could accidentally open, and thereby discover your game?

Yesterday rightwing author and columnist Ann Coulter posted an essay, “GUTLESS PRESIDENT IN WALL-LESS COUNTRY“, that called Donald Trump a fraud for walking back his government shutdown threat over the mythical Mexican wall, and claimed that “what he’s doing now absolutely guarantees that the next president will be a Democrat and, given today’s Democratic Party, that president will be Kamala Harris.”

Between this and yesterday’s conservative pushback over his decision to withdraw U.S. troops from Syria, Trump is now grappling with serious criticism if not the beginnings of revolt from righties, which will alter the 2020 narrative if it continues.

Coulter excerpts: “On the basis of his self-interest alone, [Trump] must know that if he doesn’t build the wall, he has zero chance of being re-elected and a 100 percent chance of being utterly humiliated.

“But when Trump is alone with Ivanka, they seem to agree that the wall has nothing to do with it. The people just love him for who he is! In a country of 320 million people, I’m sure there are some, but I have yet to meet a person who said, Yeah, I don’t really care about immigration or trade, I just love his personality!

“[Trump] was the only one talking sense [about immigration]. Unfortunately, that’s all he does: talk. He’s not interested in doing anything that would require the tiniest bit of effort. He’s in trouble now.”