Spider-Man’s European Vacation

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Sending a superhero to Europe to liven things up is, needless to point out, a sure sign of franchise fatigue. Imagine being so low on the aesthetic-genetic totem pole that you could watch this thing and say to yourself “Wow…I’m there come July!” I’ve no problem with Jake Gyllenhaal taking a paycheck role, but will Samuel L. Jackson‘s Nick Fury tell Tom Holland‘s Peter Parker that he has “no idea” what he’s up against? The idea of Hydron, lord of the waters, wreaking CG havoc in poor Venice, Italy…to paraphrase Frank Gorshin‘s version of Kirk Douglas, the very idea makes me sick to my stomach.

Better Male Behavior — Feminized, Non-Toxic, Post-#MeToo

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Just as “white male” has become a total epithet, the word “male” is also fraught with negative connotations. Obviously with ample justification when it comes to workplace sexism. Hence this Gillette ad, obviously made with an assumption that guys have a lot of bad stuff to make up for, and that now is the time to man up and fix that shit.

I feel two ways about this ad. On one hand it seems reasonable enough — I’ve always hated belligerent, beered-up machismo — but on another level primal male energy (conquest, courage, brawn, a willingness to fight battles and do dirty work) has always played an essential role in societies throughout history, and you don’t want to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

We’re obviously in a de-balling phase now (certainly in urban circles) and a concurrent rise in feminist power and influence. Outside of unfortunate social side-effects like the withdrawal of Hollywood Elsewhere’s press pass at the newly feminized Sundance Film Festival, this is probably for the best. These things happen in cycles. Then again…aahh, I don’t know what to think.

Consider the following Camille Paglia statement in a 2017 Vice interview: “One of my persistent quarrels with second-wave feminism is how male-bashing became its default mode from the start. Men have every right to determine their own identities, interests, and passions without intrusive surveillance and censorship by women with their own political agenda. [They] should be free to carry on and carouse there and say whatever the hell they want to each other, without snoops outside the door ready to report them to the totalitarian sexual harassment office.”

Paglia is the author of “Free Women, Free Men: Sex, Gender, and Feminism.”

When I Look at William Barr…

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When I look at William Barr, I see a chimpanzee version of the guy…orange hair, muttonchops, mustard Mao tunic…sitting next to Maurice Evans‘ Dr. Zaius in the original Planet Of The Apes. Because, frankly, Barr has a monkey mouth…a monkey mouth flanked by a jowly bulldog face. I hear intelligence and a semi-reasonable attitude, but his physicality suggests complacency and opportunism. The face that you have after age 40 is your own.

Why did Trump nominate Barr to succeed Jeff Sessions? Because he’s Mr. Integrity? Please.

YouTube comment #1: “I want to trust Barr but something tells me he’s a serpent under an innocent flower.” YouTube comment #2: “Hates exercise.” YouTube comment #3: “This guy’s smart enough to protect Trump in a number of ways without actually firing Mueller. He’s left his options wide open. I don’t trust him one bit.” YouTube comment #4: “Saying Russia ‘attempted’ to interfere in the election is bullshit…they did interfere.” YouTube comment #5: “Just another rich old man looking out for his best interests.”

Channing, And I Don’t Mean Tatum

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The legendary Carol Channing made it to age 97 — no sadness or tragedy in that. She was a Broadway star, of course (she costarred in one semi-significant movie — 1967’s Thoroughly Modern Millie), and hugely popular among stage mavens. But Channing was relatively unknown to movie and even TV audiences for the most part. To them Marilyn Monroe was and always will be Lorelei Lee in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, and Barbra Streisand was and always will be the star of Hello, Dolly. And to me, Channing was always the pizazzy but somewhat older performer who always played younger than her years. Channing’s Lorelei was launched in the 1949 B’way production of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, when she was 28 or thereabouts. But her biggest role, that of Dolly Gallagher Levi in Hello, Dolly!, which opened on Broadway in 1964, happened when she was 43. Those eyes, those saucer eyes. And that gleaming smile.

Two Against One

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My God, the writing on The Sopranos was so perfect, so incisive and strategic. And the acting, obviously. The way almost nothing is said during the first half of this scene, and then…

Voting For “Roma” Is A Politically Militant Statement

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Written earlier today by World of Reel‘s Jordan Ruimy: “Despite my theory that Roma is just too artsy for a large and vast voting body like the Academy’s whose tastes, quite frankly, tend to not veer towards the highbrow, there is a sense that a lot of people will be voting for Roma on a purely partisan basis.

[Click through to full story on HE-plus]

Three Comment’s About GDT’s “Roma” Musings

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Last night Guillermo del Toro tweeted ten intriguing observations about Alfonso Cuaron’s Roma. I’ve pasted them after the jump, but please also consider three questions/comments from Hollywood Elsewhere:

1. In his sixth tweet GDT mentions “that Cuaron and Eugenio Caballero BUILT several blocks (!) of Mexico City in a giant backlot (sidewalk, lampposts, stores, asphalted streets, etc).” He adds that this “titanic achievement…is not well-known.”

[Click through to full story on HE-plus]

If I Was Looking At The Final Roundup…

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A minor road trip with Ray Romano, visiting an ostrich farm, playing paddleball against the backside of an old drive-in movie screen, slipping into a hot tub, staying in a dive motel, etc. Is this the kind of thing you’d want to get into if you were told you only have a few months or weeks to live? Wouldn’t you want to try something a little more transformative and bucket-listy than what this trailer is showing us?

Naranjo’s “Bala” Is The One

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I’m getting a vague feeling that Catherine Hardwicke‘s Miss Bala (2.1) won’t be enjoying the same critical favor that was showered upon Gerardo Naranjo‘s original film, which debuted at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. The all-media screening of Hardwicke’s film is happening only a day before the Thursday night opening (1.31), with a review embargo that doesn’t lift until that morning.

Gina Rodriguez (the CW’s Jane The Virgin) is playing the beauty contestant (Stephanie Sigman in Naranjo’s version) who gets dragged into the grotesque intrigues of a Mexican drug gang.

HE reaction to Naranjo’s version: “If Michelangelo Antonioni had made a film about a Mexican beauty queen grappling with drug gangsters, the result might have been Miss Bala. For Naranjo has totally ignored the chaotic action aesthetic of Michael Bay and his acolytes, and delivered an action thriller with a truly elegant visual style. By which I mean long shots and almost no cut-cut-cut-cutting. He knows how to handle action and danger in a much more involving fashion than 90% of the bullshit scattershot action directors out there. Those guys know nothing, and Naranjo, I feel, is a master.”

The Antonioni treatment is why Miss Bala felt like such a knockout. Remove the arthouse element and you just have a kidnapping action drama. I have a feeling that this is precisely what the Hardwicke version has done — i.e., removed the Antonioni.

Save yourself the potential grief by simple watching Naranjo’s version, which is streaming on Amazon.

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Kareem Explains It All

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Woke bullies are gonna hate and membership in the Friends of Green Book Society is well established and locked down. I’m nonetheless presuming there are some who might still be fence-sitting about the merits of Peter Farrelly‘s film, and for this small fraternity Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s essay on Green Book, which appeared this morning in The Hollywood Reporter, is essential reading. He covers all the bases and then some in a sensible, fair-minded fashion.

Question: Given the divisive reactions to this lovable, intelligent, warm-hearted film, why did KAJ’s essay appear only today? Why wasn’t it published 10 or 15 or 21 days ago?

Dear Academy Voters — Nomination Voting Ends Today

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Please, please nominate Paul Schrader and Ethan Hawke in their respective First Reformed categories — Best Original Screenplay and Best Actor. Don’t embarass yourselves by blowing off Hawke, who’s been awarded and nominated by everyone from sea to shining sea. Schrader is a living legend in his seventh decade, and First Reformed is his big comeback film — his best since Hardcore.

Please stand up to the SJW haters who’ve tried to torpedo Green Book — please tell these strutting lefty fascist bullies to go EFF themselves by nominating Peter Farelly‘s film for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor & Supporting Actor, etc.

Please temper your urge to go Roma, Roma, Roma all the way, at least as far as the Best Foreign Language Feature category is concerned. For the Best Foreign Language Feature of the year is — forgive me, Netflix — Pawel Pawlikowski‘s Cold War. Really. It is. Consider the fact that the European Film Awards went Cold War, Cold War, Cold War all the way.

And do not fail to nominate Cold War dp Lukasz Zal for his gleaming monochrome cinematography. Ignoring Zal would be flat-out felonious.

Marielle Heller‘s Can You Ever Forgive Me?, which I’ve seen four times, is UNQUESTIONABLY one of the best films of 2018. Please nominate accordingly — Melissa McCarthy for Best Actress, Richard E. Grant for Best Supporting Actor, Heller for Best Director, etc.

For the sin of not connecting with Joe and Jane Popcorn. you’re planning to give Damien Chazelle’s First Man the cold shoulder as far as the Best Picture category is concerned. You know it, I know it. But you are going to nominate Justin Hurwitz for his magnificent score. Maybe you could squeeze out some additional love for this sadly unloved art film, which bravely forsakes the Ron Howard approach to a Neil Armstrong biopic in favor of an intimate “you are Neil” scheme?