I’m sorry but lime green walls, gold window curtains, midnight blue bed boards, orange lampshades and light teal padded benches? The Fifth Avenue Hotel’s interior designer pushes it too far, man.

Boiled down, colleges and universities are “asshole factories…day spas combined with North Korean re-education camps…colleges are the mouth of the river from which all manner of radical left illiberal…yes, illiberal…nonsense flows.”

That’s three hours and 26 minutes, fella…not 225 or three–forty-five.

Killers of the Flower Moon review with @Jerrythekid21 pic.twitter.com/0jIFfRNKsa

— Steven Cheah (@StevenCheah) October 19, 2023

With Killers of the Flower Moon, Martin Scorsese has made one of the great historical and political dramas and one of the great marriage stories and, in the process, unites it both with his gangster movies and with his religious ones: https://t.co/ZbjpPGsvJU

— Richard Brody (@tnyfrontrow) October 20, 2023

Paul Schrader to Sam Wasson in THR ‘oral history” piece about Morton’s in the ’80s heyday: “It was very relaxed — if you can describe a den of backstabbers and thieves as relaxed.”

The original Morton’s was a truly fascinating Hollywood power restaurant. Eating there on a weeknight in the late spring of 1981 (I was based in NYC but visiting Los Angeles for interviews) was one of the most exciting contact highs I’ve ever experienced, ambiance- and social atmosphere-wise.

Great food, excellent service, nothing but hot shots and cool players, beautiful women at the bar. Sitting at a nice table around 8 pm made you feel as if you were doing something really right in your life, and even that you might somehow live forever. You were right at the nexus of silky, aggressive coolness.

There were no woke Stalinist terror vibes back then…no gender pronouns, no trans stuff. Cool guys dressed like cool guys and various tiers of industry women (actresses, production execs, journalists, screenwriters) were quite fetching and formidable. Diners of all shapes and persuasions and income levels seemed happy, or at least made an effort to convince others that they were. Life felt wonderful in a certain sense.

I took a pretty lady there once in ’93 or ’94, hoping to score and at least get started in that regard. But she found the place intimidating; it creeped her out. So much so that she actually asked me in so many words, “Why did you bring me here?” (Unspoken answer: “Why do you think?”) After that I realized I was dead meat and never called her again.

Launched in 1979 by Peter Morton (co-founder of the Hard Rock Cafe), Morton’s lasted much longer than your typical hot industry spot — a phenomenal 28 years. There were two locations at the corner of Melrose and Robertson — the elegant original building at the southwest corner (flush vibes, awesome paintings, darkly lighted) and then the southeast corner location where Cecconi’s currently sits.

The reason I’m mentioning the old Morton’s is that I can’t find a single decent photo of the sumptuous interior or the palm-shrouded exterior…only a couple of shitty, low-rez photos. Odd. I’m presuming that Peter Morton had an iron-clad rule about no paparazzi being allowed on the premises, but why didn’t he have his own photographer take discreet snaps for posterity’s sake?

The two best print articles about the Morton’s glory days of the ’80s and early ’90s were (a) Wasson’s THR piece and (b) Ben Stein‘s “farewell to Morton’s” piece for the N.Y. Times (“Time Runs Out on a Place to See and Be Seen,” 11.25.07).

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Apologies for the cruddy, out-of-focus photo.

Excerpt from Stein’s Times piece:

In the matter of Fargo, I’ve always regarded the awkward Radisson Bar scene between Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand) and Mike Yanagita (Steve Park) as kind of an odd “ick.” As in “what’s wrong with this fucking guy? He’s so emotionally anxious and desperate to get laid, and he can’t even play his cards semi-honestly…and he keeps saying ‘oh, noooo.’ Plus he’s lying about his wife having passed from lukemia.”

Time and again I’ve asked myself “why is this bizarre scene even in the film?” It’s obviously not an essential component in the kidnapping plot or Marge’s investigation of same.

He’s talking about what HE’s Eddie Ginley described yesterday as Scorsese’s late-period, in-and-out elephant-art canvases (Gangs of New York, The Aviator, Silence, The Irishman, Killers of the Flower Moon). And there’s no way The Wolf of Wall Street runs out of gas after the first hour — that’s crazy. The quaalude scene comes sometime toward the end of the second hour….c’mon!

"Martin Scorsese movies are like going to the DMV"

Kiiiiilll meeee pic.twitter.com/8FZvuTJTSm

— Chris 🇮🇪 (@ThisIsCreation) October 20, 2023

Glenn Kenny was deeply annoyed by yesterday’s TikTok pan of Killers of the Flower Moon by “benpiketheactor.” And so he lashed out at this balding “brainiac” while concurrently throwing shade upon the potential critical reaction to Alexander Payne’s The Holdovers.

HE reply:

“Benpiketheactor” will most likely embrace The Holdovers and perhaps even adore it for its close-to-amazing resuscitation of a crafty, character-driven ‘70s film, savvy narrative scheme and all. Not a skillful imitation of a good ‘70s film but an actual reanimation of one.

He may not be old enough to speak with authority on this particular matter, but Ben will probably applaud it for reminding audiences what well–written, well–acted, middle–class films were like back then…back when directors and writers actually knew how to craft and deliver third acts that played like THIRD ACTS of CONSEQUENCE.

What has everyone been saying about Alexander Payne’s prep school film since it first peeked out at Telluride? Seven words: “They don’t make ‘em like this anymore.” I can’t envision this TikTok guy not echoing the same.

Verily I say unto you that one day in the not-too-distant future The Holdovers will be paired with Hal Ashby and Robert Towne’s The Last Detail at the New Beverly Cinema.

“Benpiketheactor” holds forth…

@benpiketheactor Good for insomnia #killersoftheflowermoon #martinscorsese #leonardodicaprio #robertdeniro #lilygladstone #badmovie #snore #boring #moviereview #fyp #benpiketheactor #benpikeisthecoolestpersonevertoexist ♬ original sound – benpiketheactor

Jean Seberg looks ten times better in this carefully posed shot than in any particular scene in Robert Rossen’s Lilith (‘64). Her hair is truly astounding.

It will be interesting to watch the forthcoming 4K UHD of Alfred Hitchchcock‘s The Man Who Knew Too Much (’55), which was shot by Robert Burks in VistaVision. But not the others.

If you’re talking about a 4K UHD remastered Hitchcock film that would really get people excited, the most desired would be North by Northwest (’59). The last Bluray upgrade happened in ‘07. Overdue for 4K. Way.

Hitchcock and Burks shot five films in VisaVision: To Catch a Thief, The Trouble with Harry, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Vertigo and North by Northwest.

From “Holiday vs. Scorsese,” posted on 12.23.13:

Hope Holiday (The Apartment, Irma la Douce, The Rounders) has stormed back into the world of show business with a Sunday morning Facebook post that attacks The Wolf of Wall Street, which she’d seen the night before.

“Three hours of torture,” she calls it. “Same disgusting crap over and over again. After the film they had a discussion which a lot of us did not stay for. The elevator doors opened and Leonardo [DiCaprio], Martin [Scorsese] and a few others got out. [And] then a screenwriter ran over to them and started screaming “shame on you…disgusting.”

“As the screenwriter went into his tirade, ‘I stood there with my mouth hanging open and then joined in, [saying] ‘you ought be ashamed of yourself,” Hope reports. ‘Talented men putting such junk on the screen and thinking it was funny. A fight almost ensued. I ran down the stairs. Some people liked it but most didn’t. I hated it. What egos! The least they could have done was cut an hour out of it. Then I saw the name Danny Dimbort up on the credits and nearly threw up — schlock king — shades of Nu Image films.”

“In other words, the metaphorical scheme of The Wolf of Wall Street — a darkly comical indictment of 1% greed and excess by depicting the absurdity of Jordan Belfort‘s shallow, more-more-more, money-lathered lifestyle — went right over Holiday’s head.

Most people digest movies solely in terms of subject matter and emotional warmth. They all say ‘what happens in it?’ and ‘did it make you cry?’ Five or ten percent (if that) say, ‘What was it about? What was the metaphor, the thematic thrust? What did it say about the world out there, about who we are?'”