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Now You See Me star Jesse Eisenberg is anything but a jerk (which is how some Shallow Hal journos are describing him) for calling Univision’s Romina Puga “the Carrot Top of interviewers.” More actors and directors on the movie-junket circuit need to say straight-from-the-shoulder stuff like this. Chatty-Cathy TV interviewers always take the conversation in the most inane, brain-numbing directions so thank God Eisenberg briefly lost his composure and became Tommy Lee Jones and told her what he really thinks of the hideously ingratiating attitude and the soul-smothering questions that people like her tend to generate.

Now You See Me star Jesse Eisenberg.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but Lee Daniels‘ The Butler is about a real-life guy who just minded his own business and kept his nose clean and his shoes spit-shined and quietly did his job with class and finesse. “Honor lies in the man, my prince — not in the towel” — Jean Anouilh. Nothing he did was remotely “revolutionary.” He simply did himself proud within the sphere of a White House butler. No shame in that. If I were handling the poster, I would use the following slogan: “Not everybody blazes trails. Some just polish the silver, and that’s cool.”

“I tried to pass the torch but that didn’t work. Life throws the occasional curveball. Not a tragedy — we just need to adapt. What you have to do is find an acting project entirely on your own, one that I have nothing to do with and which has nothing to do with, you know, Scientology. A 100% Jaden project, yours and yours alone. God bless the child who has his own. And if you act in two or three of these films, you’ll have your own thing. Even if they’re obscure, even if they fail, you’ll be in a better place. That’s my advice to you.”

From Norwegian filmmaker Erik Skjoldbjaerg (the original Insomnia), a psychological thriller called Pioneer (Magnolia). The ’80s-set is about professional divers (played by Aksel Hennie, Wes Bentley) hired to explore for big oil companies during the Norwegian Oil Boom,” etc. Costarring Stephen Lang (Avatar), Stephanie Sigman (Miss Bala) and Ane Dahl. If you saw Insomnia, you know Skjoldfbjaerg knows how to do it right.

“Right now I am not going to discuss my Deadline Hollywood contract or my relationship with my boss Jay Penske. Why? Because I don’t have to. If that changes, I’ll tell you. The fact is I’m out of town and about to begin my long-planned summer vacation. And the last thing I want is to be bothered now by a bunch of media and/or moguls asking for comment. As it happens, I was napping in a different time zone when The Wrap crapped on me yet again Sunday night. Nothing new: the desperate Sharon Waxman and her revolving door staff have been writing inaccurately about me for years, and doing it to drive traffic to her failing website, and refusing to correct even the most blatant errors.

“Last night Waxman sent a joint email to my boss and myself at 6:43 PM. She waited two whole minutes. Then she posted her story about us at 6:45 PM. That’s a rotten thing to do, not to mention bad journalism, and she knows it. And it’s yet one more reason I call her website The Crap. That said, I could pick apart her so-called ‘shocker’ line by line, but I won’t. I’d much rather spend my remaining pre-vacation time writing up some great scoops to post this week.” — Nikki Finke‘s Deadline statement, which went up yesterday morning or late yesterday afternoon Paris time, which is my walking around and savoring the aroma time.

Is there any chance that Joan Collins meant this ironically, as an oblique nod to Randy Newman‘s “I Love L.A.” lyric that goes “everybody very happy ’cause the sun is shinin’ all the time”? Maybe? Naaah, I guess not. In my mind Collins peaked between 1955 and ’60 (Land of the Pharaohs, The Wayward Bus, Sea Wife, The Bravados, Rally ‘Round the Flag, Boys!, Seven Thieves). She’s led some kind of glamorous and fulfilling life since, but…I don’t want to sound dismissive. She’s fine. We’re all fine.

I’ve reached out to The Hollywood Reporter‘s Paris-based critic-correspondent Jordan Mintzer as I’m looking for a little help on screening dates and contacts. Mintzer teaches at Luc Besson‘s film school, a.k.a. La Cite du Cinema (93200 Saint-Denis), which is located north of Paris. I’m thinking I could maybe visit the place and nose around and write a profile of some kind.

Taylor Swift did a duet with Mick Jagger last night during a Rolling Stones “50 & Counting” show at Chicago’s United Center. The song was “As Tears Go By.” The Stones always ask singers who are “hot right now” and doing something distinctive and different than what the Stones have always done to sing duets — it’s a badge of recognition and honor. Swift has strong pipes, of course, but her voice sounds a little tinny, a little Minnie Mousey. If there’s a God that notion about her playing Joni Mitchell in a Girls Like Us biopic has been forgotten and buried.

Michael Douglas realized fairly quickly, of course, that he sounded a little fruit-loopy when he told The Guardian‘s Xan Brooks that his bout with throat cancer was largely due to giving head to his wife, Catherine Zeta Jones. People were chortling and wondering what Douglas’s deal was. It seemed to me like a fairly ridiculous thing to say. And remember that Douglas also said that giving more head cures the cancer you got from giving head in the first place….what?

I’m vaguely depressed or certainly alienated by the decision of Paramount Home Video marketing guy to present John Schlesinger‘s Marathon Man (’76) to potential buyers as if it’s some kind of primitive Charles Bronson flick. It’s anything but that, of course, but any marketer will tell you that if you even slightly indicate that a film contains complexity or texture or anything other than primary color elements you’re hurting sales right off the bat. Keep it stupid and blunt and you can’t go wrong. The region-free Bluray streets today.

With the ghastly wifi situation in Lauterbrunnen last weekend I missed the “Mad Men‘s Megan Draper is about to be killed, possibly in the manner of Sharon Tate” speculation. Even if it’s total bullshit the notion certainly jacks up interest levels in the show. And yet Matthew Weiner has obviously planted the seed by having Jessica Pare wear the same T-shirt that Tate wore, etc. Violently killing a character…I don’t know. Something a little facile about that.