Will dudes shrug at Wicked costars Ariana Grande and Cynthia “witchy greenskin” Erivo and thereby bring about a somewhat muted reception?

Filing from Cinemacon, Jeff Sneider isn’t predicting a shortfall — he’s just saying Wicked (Universal, 11.27) is no Barbie.

Sneider’s quote: “I struggle to see men showing up in droves for this movie.”

At least Sneider’s gender generalization was about XY and not double-X. For if he had posted a gut hunch about potential female responses to Jon Chu’s two-part musical fantasy, he might have been clubbed, stabbed, skinned and all but decapitated.

That’s what happened to me eight and a half years ago when I posted four bad words about Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s The Revenant — “Forget women seeing this.” Never generalize about any gender in any context!

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HE regretfully notes that Hillary Sharyn Marks Strauss, wife of veteran critic and HE comment-thread regular Bob Strauss, has passed on. Hillary and Bob were married for 35 years (i.e., hitched in ‘89). I knew and quite liked Hillary socially for a good portion of that union, and am very sorry she’s left us all too soon.

Warning — the following riff contains a Civil War spoiler:

On 10.23.23 L.A. Times critic Justin Chang scolded The Holdovers over an incident of racial animosity between two minor characters — a snotty white kid named Teddy Kountze (Brady Hepner) and a fragile Korean student named Ye-Joon Park (Jim Kaplan). Early on Kountze belittles Park by calling him “Mr. Moto” — a trigger in more ways than one.

Chang: “In reducing Ye-Joon to such an abused prop, is The Holdovers really any better [than Kountze]? Can anyone watch a scene this callous and then be honestly moved by [Giamatti’s] speech about the injustices of American racism, classism and white privilege?”

In short Chang felt obliged to admonish The Holdovers, which is mostly set in December 1970, for having committed a woke crime.

Chang is back with the same kind of complaint in his 4.14 New Yorker review of Civil War. There’s a scene in which the lives of a pair of journalists come to a terrible end. Because of the ethnicity of these characters, Chang calls this scene “dubiously contrived.” He then asks “was it really necessary to introduce and then immediately sacrifice two nonwhite characters to score a point about the racism that lurks in America’s heartland?”

The below New Yorker illustration is by Clay Rodery.

I’m very sorry about the passing of Eleanor Coppola, wife of Francis Coppola.

On her own creative steam Eleanor is best known for having shot George Hickenlooper and Fax Bahr‘s masterful Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, a saga of Apocalypse Now — arguably the best making-of-a-famous-movie doc ever made.

Wiki excerpt: “The documentary was begun by Eleanor, who also narrates the behind-the-scenes footage. Coppola turned her material over to Hickenlooper and Bahr in 1990. The pair subsequently shot fresh interviews with the original cast and crew, and then intercut them with Coppola’s footage.

“Hickenlooper and Bahr premiered Hearts at the 1991 Cannes Film Festival.”

Warning: Civil War spoilers herein…

On Friday afternoon (4.12), HE chatted with entertainment critic, on-air host, podcaster and movie maven Neil Rosen (“Talking Pictures with Neil Rosen“), comedian, critic, podcaster and East Hampton go-to guy Bill McCuddy for a nice Zoom encounter.

The principal topics were Alex Garland’s just-opened Civil War, Steve Zallian’s delectable eight-part Ripley and Charlie Sadoff’s Against All Enemies.

I started to pass along the story behind HE’s GoFundMe Cannes reach–out (i.e., the happiest story of my recent life), but McCuddy smirked and changed the subject.

McCuddy also swears Monkey Man (aka Monkey Wick) is a better bloodbath–revenge flick than one might initially expect. I watched the last 20 minutes’ worth two nights ago…effort appreciated but no thanks.

Again, the Substack link.

Right now I’m leaning more toward Clapton than Guadagnino, but perceptions can change very quickly. There’s a NYC screening on Monday evening (4.15).

Robert MacNeil, who’s passed at age 93, was the co-host of The MacNeil/Lehrer Report with Jim Lehrer between 1975 and ’95.

He had the most soothing voice…a voice that I absolutely loved the sound of; ditto the professional consistency of McNeil’s cool, relaxed manner and that dry, slightly aloof, faintly sardonic attitude that seemed to be part of who he was deep down.

Robert MacNeil: “I was very close” to JFK on the morning of Friday, 11.22.63, outside that Fort Worth hotel. “Almost at his shoulder as he went around working the crowd, and it was really extraordinary, what that crowd felt for him.

“Then he emerged from it…I walked with him, right beside him, back into the hotel. And his eyes rested upon mine a couple of times. He didn’t know me well but he knew me slightly, and his eyes were absolutely cold, always…really cold gray. The smile was in the crinkles [around his eyes] and in the mouth and the big teeth, but the eyes always remained, I thought, very cold.”

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I’m presuming that at least some HE regulars have seen Civil War by now, and naturally have some impressions to share.

Is there anyone nursing any doubts at all about who Nick Offerman‘s U.S. president is based upon? (HE opinion: Obviously a non-liberal mixture of Donald Trump and Steve Bannon.) Is there anyone who’s uncertain about the ethnicity of the opposing armies (Offerman-allied white camoflaugue-fatigue yokels vs. diverse ragtag guerillas representing the secessionist Western Forces), and who therefore understands what the opposing sides are basically about?

I saw Civil War a second time last night at a West Orange AMC, and there were maybe five or six people in the theatre, if that. It was a 9:15 pm show, which means it didn’t actually start until 9:35 pm or thereabouts.

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HE’s GoFundMe Cannes reach-out was a nearly-instant success. Sometime around 7:30 pm last night (Thursday, 4.11) I posted the pitch ($2600 needed for my Cannes Film Festival air fare + room & board), and the funds hit $2625 around six hours later.

Heartfelt thanks to all the serious-friends-of-HE who stepped up and lent a helping hand. In HE’s nearly 20-year history (I launched in August 2004), I’ve never felt this kind of readership hug. I don’t mind saying it’s affected my general view of humanity and the HE community in particular.

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Earlier: Okay, I’ve decided to try and raise the $2600 I need for Cannes ’24 through GoFundMe. I’ve never tried to do this before, but given my impoverished circumstances it can’t hurt, right?

GoFundMe message: I’m Jeffrey Wells of Hollywood Elsewhere, and I’m too poor to cough up my own 2024 Cannes Film Festival fund. I need around $2600 to fly to Nice/Cannes and pay my room and board, buy occasional cappuccinos and generally keep the engine going, etc.

For thirty odd years I covered my Cannes expenses through HE ad dollars, but the ad situation was on the grim side this year. So I’m begging for assistance. My hat is out and I have no shame.

Thanks for your help if you’re able to part with $25 or $50 or whatever. If not, no sweat. And if I don’t make my goal of $2600, also no sweat. Thanks anyway. There’s always Telluride…

….over my inability to afford attending the 2024 Cannes Film Festival, even though the all-in damage would only be about $2500**.

I will therefore not be seeing the following in a timely fashion: Tne first half of Kevin Costner‘s Horizon, Francis Coppola‘s Megalopolis, Ali Abbasi‘s The Apprentice, Andrea Arnold‘s Bird, David Cronenberg‘s The Shrouds, Yorgos Lanthimos‘ Kinds of Kindness, Paul Schrader‘s Oh, Canada, Paolo Sorrentino‘s Parthenope, Rithy Panh‘s Rendezvous Avec Pol Pot, Kirill Serebrennikov‘s Limonov, George Miller‘s Furiosa, Quentin Dupieux‘s The Second Act and all the other good films that I’m not attuned to but would be after seeing them.

I’ll eventually get past this feeling of disappointment, and I know, of course, that many of these titles will play at Telluride. It just hurts. I’ve been attending this festival for nearly a quarter-century straight, not counting the pandemic years. It’s very much tied to my sense of identity and pride as a Hollywood columnist.

** The fare right now is around $900 and my share of the Old Town pad would be around 700 euros, plus several hundred in transportation, meals and incidentals over a nearly two-week period.

On 6.12.94, or two months shy of 30 years ago, Orenthal James Simpson murdered two people in Brentwood — his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, whom he nearly decapitated, and Ron Goldman, a “friend” of Brown’s who’d been working as a waiter at the long-since-closed Mezzaluna.

And now O.J. has succumbed to prostate cancer at age 76. I don’t know in what cosmic realm, if any, Nicole and Ron are currently dwelling in, but I can say for sure that O.J., who allowed the Othello complex to totally consume him, is now roasting on a spit in a place of fire and brimstone.

Watch Ezra Edelman‘s O.J.: Made in America….just watch it.

The physical evidence showing that Simpson was guilty is flat-out irrefutable. I’ve linked before to a legendary mid ’90s Spy piece called 1001 Reasons why the OJ Trial is the Most Absurd Event in the History of America“, but here are two relevant portions:

The Evidence:

1. Ron Goldman’s boots were covered with blood, which DNA testing revealed to be a mixture of his and OJ’s.
2. OJ’s blood matches five drops on the walkway outside Nicole’s condo leading away from the crime scene.
3. Blood samples found in the Bronco match Ron and Nicole’s and OJ’s.
4. Drops of OJ’s blood were found in a trail leading up his driveway and into his foyer.
5. The blood on a sock in OJ’s bedroom matched both OJ and Nicole
6. Blood was found in shower and sink of OJ’s bathroom.
7. More than a dozen DNA tests link OJ to the crime scene.
8. Fibers found on the knit cap left at the crime scene and the bloody glove behind OJ’s house were unique to the 1993 and 1994 Ford Bronco. OJ’s was a 1994.
9. Hairs in the cap “exhibit the same microscopic characteristics” as those contained in a reference sample taken from OJ’s head.
10. The large number of hairs inside the cap suggest that OJ had worn it.
11. A hair closely resembling OJ’s was found on Goldman’s shirt.
12. A 12-inch hair with the same characteristics as those of Nicole Simpson was found on the bloody glove discovered at OJ’s estate.
13. Similar dark bluish-brown fibers theorized to have come from the killer’s clothing were found on Goldman’s shirt, OJ’s socks, and the bloody glove.
14. Kato testified that OJ was wearing a dark sweatsuit just a few hours before the murders.
15. Prints left at the murder scene were created by someone wearing expensive, size 12 Bruno Magli shoes. OJ wears size 12 shoes.

Why the Blood Evidence Was Not Tampered With:

1. Splatter on OJ’s socks showed more than two dozen blood drops.
2. None of the splatters soaked through from one side of the socks to the other, suggesting that they were being worn when the blood hit them.
3. The drops containing Nicole’s blood were found around the ankle areas, suggesting it was splashed on the socks at the crime scene.
4. The stains containing OJ’s blood were found higher on the leg and on the toe of one sock, suggesting he stained one sock when he returned home and pulled them off.
5. The stains also included a number of microscopically small flakes and spots too tiny to have been produced by tampering.
6. Witnesses testified they had not originally noticed the stains – not because they weren’t there until the LAPD planted them – but more likely because the socks are black and it is nearly impossible to see the stains with the naked eye.
7. Some DNA samples from the crime scene, glove, socks, and OJ’s estate were degraded while others were easily typed, suggesting they had been subjected to different degrees of exposure to the elements.
8. If the drops had been tampered with in the lab, they would have degraded at the same rate.
9. The blood was not just examined by the LAPD, but also by the Cellmark Diagnostics laboratory in Maryland and the California Department of Justice. They all came to the same conclusions.
10. Criminalist Henry Lee stated that investigators erred by putting Goldman’s boot into a bag while it was still wet, allowing the blood to smear.
11. He did not explain how OJ’s blood landed on Goldman’s boot.
12. An Aris Isotoner exec testified that the gloves at the crime scene are identical to those OJ is wearing in a 1991 photo.
There were only 200-240 of the gloves sold — all of them at a Bloomingdale’s in New York City.
13. Bloomingdale’s records show that Nicole purchased two pairs of gloves in December 1990 as a Christmas present for OJ.
14. A DNA test confirmed that blood found in OJ’s Bronco came from Goldman, whom OJ said he never met.
15. Kato testified that he saw blood in the foyer and driveway of OJ’s house the morning after the murders.
16. Even if blood samples degenerate, they do not change DNA characteristics.

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I’ve spoken with four Civil War viewers, and the general consensus is that director Alex Garland has over-muddied the narrative of this armed domestic conflict flick, or has otherwise bent over backwards in order to discourage audiences from perceiving too many real-life parallels or culture-war animosities.

Garland’s original idea had been “what if the George Floyd rioters and the January 6th insurrectionists grew into hardcore military armies and engaged in a serious shooting war?”

But then he and A24 apparently got cold feet and decided to muddy the waters in order to avoid lighting incendiary fuses in an election year.

But if you put aside Garland’s incongruous or vaguely described red herrings (the anti-government rebels defined as a Texas-California alliance, an “Antifa massacre”, a suppressed Florida rebellion) and boil out the snow, Civil War seems clear enough to me. You’d have to be in a deep denial pit not to grasp the basics.

The war is basically between (a) rural-minded, diversity-resistant whites…fatigue-wearing MAGA forces loyal to a journalist-despising, Steve Bannon-resembling, martial-law embracing authoritarian President vs. (b) a diversity army (POCs of varying shades with sprinklings of white progressives) that initially seems less heavily-armed and more guerilla-style until the last half-hour when it suddenly transforms into a major, fatigue-and-helmet-wearing military force that storms the White House.

I’ve actually spoken to two viewers who aren’t entirely persuaded that Nick Offerman‘s U.S. President, a blustery, God-invoking bullshitter who has thrown out the Constitution by granting himself a third term, is a Trumpian figure…they’re not? Nor are they entirely certain that the White House assaulters are the diverse anti-fascist “good guys”.

Trust me, Garland makes it quite clear who is who in this thing and yet these fellows are saying “wait, who do they represent again?”

HE is telling you straight and true to dismiss the comment thread smoke-blowers who are arguing that the real-world parallels are too vaguely contoured to mean much. But they do amount to what I’ve stated here…really. Sasha Stone shares this perception.

Yes, Garland has certainly over-muddied the narrative, but at least he’s reversed the ambiguity in one instance — the instantly iconic Jesse Plemons interrogation scene.

Please understand that Civil War doesn’t really kick in until Plemons arrives, but after that point it’s a much more vigorous and accelerated deal with an ending that, as I mentioned Tuesday morning, made me feel so ecstatic I almost experienced a Zero Dark Thirty-ish boner.

I need to see this again ASAP. I’ll probably catch a commercial screening tonight.