Boxy “Titanic” on Laserdisc…Remember?

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James Cameron‘s Titanic opened on 12.19.97 — almost exactly 25 years ago. I had seen it on the Paramount lot in mid November and knew it was a meltdown and a humdinger, but it took a while for the word to get out. The social media factor was zip back then — online reporting was just starting to happen (my first online column appeared in October ’98) with most of the world still following print.

It’s not commonly recalled that while it opened very strongly, the super-thunderous business didn’t happen immediately. Theatres didn’t begin to sell out until the end of that weekend. The first weekend earned $28,638,131 in 2,674 theaters, but the following weekend it made $35.6 million, for Chrissake. After 40 days in theatres Titanic hit $300 million. It finally wound up with $659.4 million domestic and 2.195 billion worldwide.

I haven’t re-watched Titanic since the 3D re-release, which I wasn’t floored by. The 3D effect was….well, modest.

Most people paid no mind to the 1.33 “boxy” Titanic that was released on Pioneer laserdisc on 10.13.98. It retailed for $49.98. Cameron’s film had been shot on open-matte super 35mm, allowing it to be cropped to widescreen proportions (2.39:1) for theatrical. I owned a laserdisc player back then, but I never saw the boxy. Just for fun I’d like to watch a 1080p version of this.

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All Quiet on Golden Globe Front: Wokester Film Fanatics (i.e., Tomris Laffly and Like-Minded Friendos) Trying to Squelch Reformed HFPA

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The HFPA has done everything possible to atone for past sins and it’s still not good enough — the twitter wokesters (Tomris Laffly, Clayton Davis, et. al.) want them suppressed and blacklisted to death.

I’m in a skin clinic undergoing a basel-cell cancer removal procedure**, but the woke Stalinists are trying to suffocate the Golden Globe awards by telling everyone (publicists in particular) not to mention this morning’s GG nominations.

Here’s what Sasha Stone posted a little while ago:

One of the reasons the wokesters are trying to suppress the Golden Globes is because the HFPA didn’t adhere to the feminist quota system — i.e., no women directors were nominated. For this and other reasons the GGs must be punished!

Here’s a complaint from Variety’s #1 wokester Clayton Davis:

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Musk Reality Sandwich

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Chappelle’s fans are not “transphobic.” They’re just highly suspicious of the kool-aid as a rule.

Beware Those Conniving Gay Demons From Palermo

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“I just have this really weird feeling that something bad is gonna happen…”

McCuddy: “The big climactic bullet tango on the yacht does two things. It satisfies our curiosity especially after Tanya (Jennifer Coolidge) asks the blood-soaked Quentin (Tom Hallander) if her husband was cheating and he says nothing PLUS it tells us something about next season. My 22 year old daughter thinks next season should be an African safari, which would be cool.”

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Not Planned This Way

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The snow flurry deluge earlier today was wonderful, but the weather wasn’t quite cold enough and so the snowflakes hit the windshield and melted, and the iPhone auto focus locked in on the water drops and the shot was more or less ruined.

LAFCA Awards Mean Nothing…Okay, Very Little

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The Los Angeles Film Critics Association (aka eccentric foodie Venusians who occasionally get it right and sometimes wildly wrong) split their Best Picture award this afternoon — Tar (fine) and Everything Everywhere All at Once (absolutely not). These people are from the Planet Neptune, and now that they’ve gone gender neutral, forget it. They’re not of this earth. Nobody cares about what they think or who they like. Okay, the talent does.

LAFCA’s Best Director trophy went to Tar‘s Todd Field….great. He also took the Best Screenplay award. The leading performance awards went to Tar‘s Cate Blanchett (emphatic agreement) and Living‘s Bill Nighy (a good performance). One of the Supporting Performance awards should have goe to The Banshees of Inisherin’s Kerry Condon, but it didn’t. The winners in this category were Dolly De Leon of Triangle of Sadness (disagree) and Ke Huy Quan of Everything Everywhere All at Once (ditto).

Due respect but if you’re curious about the rest of the awards, here’s a link. Nobody really cares. LAFCA is its own realm, its own little dingle-dangle. I say screw ’em…they’ve gender-neutraled their way into oblivion.

Says The Obvious

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Last night I re-watched about half of Joshua Logan and William Inge‘s Picnic (’55). Right up to the moment of Bill Holden and Kim Novak‘s sexy lakeside dance.

When she walks down the steps at the beginning, Novak’s moves are saying “okay, I’ve decided…I’d rather have sex with you than with Cliff Robertson, and while I know we’re not going to do it here and now in front of Susan Strasberg, Verna Felton, Rosalind Russell and poor Arthur O’Connell, a man who never had sex once in his off-stage life and whose character will never have sex with the spinsterish Russell…let’s express our mutual longing in a way that is 110% unmistakable.”

Holden was reportedly so nervous about his dance moves, which he was taught by choreographer Miriam Nelson, that he had to get drunk to perform them.

Griner Has A Duty To Meet Press Soon

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Where would Brittney Griner be right now if the press hadn’t steadily focused on her situation from the moment of her arrest and imprisonment last February? Which in turn made the Biden administration pay more attention and make her a prisoner swap priority, etc. If the press had ignored or under-reported her situation all along there’s a decent chance she’d still in the clink, right?

If I were in Griner’s size 17 shoes I’d be saying the following to myself: “Damn, all I want to do is hug and kiss my wife and live my normal life again. I just want to relax and be the person I was before the hash-oil arrest. I want to work out and dribble a basketball and eat my favorite foods…shit like that. But I’m a big international story right now, and for all I know I might still be in jail if the press hadn’t made me into an international focus of attention. And so I need to thank the press and give them interviews and sit for a press conference and so on. I have to play the game because it’s my duty, in a way. History is calling and I need to pick up the phone. I’m like an astronaut who’s just come back from the moon. I need to face the cameras and the questions — it’s the decent thing to do.”

Since arriving in San Antonio two mornings ago Griner has been out of sight, maintaining her privacy, sleeping, etc. If it was me I’d have done the press conference Friday afternoon or at the very latest Saturday morning. She’d do well to “open up” on Monday morning…just sayin’.

Racial Objections

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Mashable’s Robert Daniels has posted a strong disapproval of Sam Mendes’ Empire of Light. It’s fair, I think, to call this a racial admonishment piece, as Daniels has voiced a fundamental objection to older white directors “fumbling” films about black characters — i.e., having the temerity to make such films in the first place.

Paul Rai’s approving comment [below] also laments James Gray’s Armageddon Time, another instance of an older white director “using black characterization as foundation fodder for [a white] director’s ethos.”

What do you think Daniels is talking about when he calls Empire of Light “a contrived, politically trite exercise”? He obviously doesn’t like the brief romantic pairing of Olivia Colman‘s Hillary and Michael Ward‘s Stephen, and he regards Mendes’ decision to merge an older, white, mentally anxious lady with a young, good-looking lad of color as a “trite” attempt to inject some kind of current cultural flavor.

In short, Daniels is saying, older white directors (Green Book’s Peter Farrelly included) need to stay 100 yards away from period sagas involving black characters, and 500 yards away if the story involves interracial sex.

Here’s how I put it on 12.7 in an HE piece “HE Fights for Empire of Light”: