Almost everyone has a short list of films they’ve not only never seen but wouldn’t with a knife at their back.

This is how I’ve long felt about Jerry Jameson and Sir Low Grade‘s Raise The Titanic (’80). Poor Richard Jordan, Jason Robards, David Selby, Anne Archer and Sir Alec Guinness — convulsed by self-loathing as they pocketed their paychecks.

What put me off was that story about Pauline Kael bolting out of a Manhattan press screening while angrily muttering that “life is too short.”

Until an hour ago I’d never seen a frame of footage from this box-office calamity, but now that I’ve seen the below passage I…I…I…I don’t like admitting this but I have to. The moment when Richard Jordan slowly walks through the rusted remains of the fabled vessel, there’s a certain…what, faintly haunted quality? Something tingly around the edges?

What films have you avoided like the plague all your life, and have never experienced a moment’s regret?