You’re 17 or 18 and attending a high school basketball game, and suddenly a gang of bullies push a naked fat guy onto the court. Would your first instinct be to scream with laughter, or would you maybe wonder why anyone who would enjoy that kind of cruelty? If you’re one of the laughers, you’ll probably be okay with Rawson Marshall Thurber‘s Central Intelligence. But I’m telling you that after an interesting opening (20 or 25 minutes) and the beginnings of a kind of comedic Collateral tale with Dwayne Johnson as Tom Cruise and Kevin Hart as Jamie Foxx, the movie degenerates into rank idiocy and never looks back. It’s meant to be cartoon-funny. I’ll admit to having chortled two or three times early on but mostly I just sat there in agony, waiting for it to end. Blam, blam, BLAM! Any film in which the main protagonists jump out of a fifth-story window only to save themselves from death by landing on an inflated plastic gorilla….well, it’s just shit, you see. It really is. And any critic saying that Central Intelligence is some kind of fun, rollicking ride (Bilge Ebiri, Allison Willmore, J.R. Jones, David Sims, Barry Hertz, Stephen Whitty, Adam Graham) is never to be trusted again about anything. The movie is venomous big-studio garbage. From this point on Thurber is a dead man in my eyes.